Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Feeling left behind ...

Women without children, especially those who wanted children, often speak of feeling left behind.  I've written about it myself, and have actually the last few weeks had another post brewing.  It's still brewing, put aside for the moment, because I realised, as I sat down to write a post on my non-no kids blog, that I was feeling left behind in another way.

That's life you see.  I think whatever we do, we'll look at others, and think we've been left behind, just as they look at us (my friends with kids watching me travelling for example) and feel left behind, feel stuck, in ways too.  It comes and it goes.  There are times we will feel it acutely, and times we'll not feel it at all.  There are times it will hurt, and times we will celebrate and thank our lucky stars we have the life we have.  That's life.  Learning to live in the moment, and accepting that the grass isn't always greener ...

6 comments:

  1. You're right that these feelings do come and go. I suppose because each of us has a broken dream (or a not-yet-fulfiled-dream or even dreams) and in life there are so many reminders of it that it's just impossible not to feel that way every now and then.

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  2. You're right, as usual, Mali. It's helpful to examine how this applies in many aspects of our lives as a reminder that it does come and go across many dimensions.

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  3. Its that ole perspective again, isn't it. Sometimes harder to look at it like this, but . . you're right, its true.
    I'm currently in the stability/financial security/home-owning dimension of 'left behind', having just watched friends buying their first new home - have felt it before, will feel it again (but the grass is greener here because we don't own it, I guess, and because I can notice it, in daylight, as I sip my decaf on the deck because we are not both slogging stupid hours 5 days a week to pay for 'the owning')

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  4. What helps is the knowledge that the grass isn't always greener... I see examples of it quite often. Maybe I seek them out, or maybe I purposely focus on them. I still feel left behind, but there is the small consolation that things do not always work out well for those who do have kids. They have other problems to face, sometimes worse than the lonelinesss/emptiness/bitterness etc.

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  5. There is always someone who will have it better than I do... but there are also a lot of people who are a heck of a lot worse off. Overall, I feel pretty lucky in my life!

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