Monday, 22 September 2014

#MicroblogMondays: When Granddad is irrelevant

Today we visited the in-laws. They were chatting about reminiscences, and next moment father-in-law is referring to himself as Granddad. Except that I thought he was talking about his grandfather. So I asked a dumb question, which he responded to accordingly.

Then I realised. “Don’t call yourself Granddad to us!” I remonstrated him. “We won’t get it, because to us, Granddad is irrelevant.”

I wasn't being overly sensitive, or bitter, or even unkind to him. I was just being honest.

15 comments:

  1. I think it is weird when people refer to themselves in the third person anyway. This Granddad thing does not only sound irrelevant but confusing indeed!

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  2. What a weird and awkward situation to be in.

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  3. The Princess (whose mom grew up across the street from my parents) calls my parents "Grandma & Grandpa" -- & they refer to themselves that way -- which is somewhat bittersweet for me to hear. But at the same time, I'm glad that they have a grandchild to spoil, if only in unofficially/honorarily.

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    1. I can understand that that is hard to hear - but understand that you're glad for your parents too.

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  4. That would be confusing. Especially the 3rd person thing, which I always find weird.

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  5. Hi Mali! :-)
    I've seen grandparents do that. Even aunts and uncles - especially in front of kids, as if to teach them the relationship. The third person reference drives me nuts too. :)
    Here via #MicroblogMondays

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  6. I can understand how that would be annoying and confusing actually :) That third person thing generally refers to royalty, right?

    Popping by from #MicroblogMondays

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  7. Confusing force of habit, I'd say. And habits are hard to break, especially when one gets older. I'm happy to hear it did not hurt you, though. God knows you've had enough of that.

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    1. Not really force of habit. Yes, he has a number of grandchildren. But he sees us much more regularly than he talks to any of them. I think it is more that he sees his reminiscences as only being relevant to the next generation. Increasingly, he is making us feel irrelevant.

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    2. Irrelevant sounds another step worse than being taken for granted... (and the next generation is likely much more interested in the future than the past anyway) So sorry FIL doesn't see it that way

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  8. It's interesting the titles people latch onto. I think Loribeth's point is one to consider, though I completely understand your point. One thought is why we tend to reduce ourselves to labels? I'm an "X"

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  9. Like in telling a story, or he speaks of himself in third person? The first one, less odd -- I mean, there are people I call by a title even though that title isn't their relationship to me. For instance, I call one cousin Auntie because... other people call her Auntie and the name stuck. And she would call herself Auntie if she were telling a story that involves herself. But it would be totally odd if she came in my kitchen and said, "Auntie wants a snack" instead of "I want a snack."

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    1. In telling a story. But the difference is that you call your cousin Auntie. So if she refers to herself as Auntie in telling a story that's perfectly normal. We - for obvious reasons - don't call my FIL Granddad.

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  10. I think we often fail to realise that we refer to ourselves in the third person...

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  11. As Vidya stated, I've seen Grandparents do that, too. To be honest I've done it myself, as in "bring Grandma that _________". However, I hope I have enough common sense NOT to do that in front of anyone who might feel hurt. In fact, this is a reminder that I shouldn't be referring to myself in the third person anyway. Sorry you have to put up with such foolishness.

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