I have just finished reading On Top of Everything by Sarah-Kate Lynch, a New Zealand writer of generally light-hearted fiction who is always likeable, with a good sense of humour and lovely turn of phrase. As well as enjoying the characters, laughing at some of the comments, and drooling over a recipe for a chocolate cake, this book also had me in tears a number of times, discussing grief and loss in many forms, including (but not only) infertility, childlessness by circumstance, and loss.
A message I try to express, but never so beautifully, about healing from grief is noted in the following line:
“It’s like he’s a thread in my tapestry, not the whole wall hanging …”
I was also please to find a comment that expresses how I feel about my ectopics and infertility, in that I discuss them only when I deem appropriate, and don't feel at all obliged to share my losses with others unless I am comfortable with doing so.
“I wouldn’t be bring him out like that and introduce him to someone unless I thought it would be of some help.”
She talks about grief and vulnerability, aptly saying:
“Accepting sympathy means you’ve
dropped any pretence of not needing it and that leaves you raw.”
And finally, perhaps my favourite,
“nobody escapes the pitfalls of being a human being.”