Monday, 8 August 2016

The end and the beginning


                                                                                                       - T.S Eliot

However our infertility journey ends - with a baby or without - it is also a beginning. What differs though, I think, is the transition phase. For those of us without children, our transition phase is one where it is easy to focus on the end, not the beginning. It is a time of mourning, of grief, of loss, when it is easy to focus on what we don't have, what we wanted and tried so hard to get. It is a time that is feared by those still going through infertility, a time that so many cannot see beyond, a time that so often can be mistaken as the final destination. 

But it is only a transition phase, and the mourning too comes to an end, allowing us to look ahead, to develop hope, to learn to appreciate the positives, to start anew. It's a beginning that is different to the one we had hoped for, but it is a beginning nonetheless, filled with promise and adventure and love and joy and new destinations. As hard as it is, we mustn't forget that.

8 comments:

  1. Been reflecting on this a lot too. It can be very easy to focus on the end, especially when the new beginning involves uncertainty. But I'm beginning to see that with the uncertainty comes possibility. The opportunity for something new. And though scary, it can turn into something worth while.

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  2. I love this. New beginnings can be so very hard, even when they have promise all their own, it can be hard to see that through the pain of the end. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: "New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings..." - Lao Tzu. I just love this post.

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  3. That's a great way of looking at it and very well-written. It helps to keep these words in mind. For a few years I felt like I had reached the end, I felt like I'd fast-forwarded to old age because I had no new chapters beginning / no fresh things happening etc; thankfully that's fading now.

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  4. Yes! Thank you for reminding me of it. It is so true. The first time I read the word "transition" in this context, it helped me immensely. It expanded my horizon when I felt a bit stuck.

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  5. I read this on Monday and meant to come back and comment.... What a week!

    There was a popular song when I was in high school, Closing Time by a one hit wonder band called SemiSonic, and part of the lyrics were "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." It's a phrase that I've held on to through many transitions throughout my life (I even emailed Cristy the same quote earlier this week in the context of her potential job change), but now I realize that this concept can be applied to this unchosen life too.

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    Replies
    1. I thought of that same song lyric. It really does change one's perspective.

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    2. I had that song running through my mind too!! :) Great minds, etc. ;) lol

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