tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post6398501477970301238..comments2024-03-28T06:32:27.436+13:00Comments on No Kidding in NZ: Fertility fantasiesMalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-80776106877828063752013-10-01T06:49:08.992+13:002013-10-01T06:49:08.992+13:00I agree with you completely. I also was very disap...I agree with you completely. I also was very disappointing on how Feritlity Planit behaved in response to the article among others; I even tried to get a dialogue going with the writer of The Examiner's article on the "controversy" and nothing. I mean, she called them bitter. I was so annoyed, especially coming from a fellow Infertile. Anyway, you always have a great way telling it like it is, thank you for that.<br />BTW, when are you getting on twiiter? hgavinhttp://www.tumblr.com/blog/hgavinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-73732494104488224722013-09-20T20:38:59.346+12:002013-09-20T20:38:59.346+12:00Annie, HUGS to you...yeah, it is difficult to deal...Annie, HUGS to you...yeah, it is difficult to deal with that kind of thing...but I hope she understands that not everybody get to experience that, no matter how she wants to encourage others. Sometimes I think for a story like this, I should rebuke it with a totally opposite story he he he he...Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-40444103063080993672013-09-20T00:09:00.418+12:002013-09-20T00:09:00.418+12:00The hard thing is when you work with someone who &...The hard thing is when you work with someone who "is" one of those miracle stories. With no hope of pregnancy and about to have a hysterectomy, she found herself miraculously pregnant. It's a difficult one to deal with.Annie Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13511943107737624183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-5075119770451525162013-09-20T00:04:14.542+12:002013-09-20T00:04:14.542+12:00A great post bringing to attention the difficultie...A great post bringing to attention the difficulties of failed infertility treatments and the lack of recognition.<br /><br />I'm very grateful for our infertility clinic for not only how we were treated going through the process but also how we are treated now. We still have access to free counseling to help us through this next phase. And if by some remote chance, we did fall pregnant naturally, we would still be able to go to them for support, tests and drugs during the first few weeks - all free of charge because of what we have gone through already.<br /><br />Our doctor has never claimed to be our cure, she has however, always remained hopeful and done everything possible and more to help us whilst still acknowledging that due to my age, the eggs aren't just good quality anymore. She is just amazing and I wish we had found her a couple of years earlier.Annie Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13511943107737624183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-90560206679365536832013-09-19T23:57:35.297+12:002013-09-19T23:57:35.297+12:00I've had the same comment. When talking to a ...I've had the same comment. When talking to a close relative about the failure of our last round and how that was probably it for us, she chose to ignore or not understand or be able to cope with the enormous difficulty of where we were and instead said "at least you keep trying". No, the point is that it is probably over. There are very few people who are able to understand without having gone through it themselves.Annie Zhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13511943107737624183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-30245000188051878482013-09-18T08:04:25.506+12:002013-09-18T08:04:25.506+12:00Thank you! (As I say, I was a bit nervous, for ob...Thank you! (As I say, I was a bit nervous, for obvious reasons).Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-66235373402896557642013-09-18T08:03:50.915+12:002013-09-18T08:03:50.915+12:00Valery I understand! (I've deleted one of the...Valery I understand! (I've deleted one of the advertising responses).<br /><br />I also didn't respond to the dose I had. I did some research and saw that there were very few if any studies that showed higher doses were at all effective. So it made me reasonably satisfied that I had done everything I could.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-67673659126123148162013-09-17T16:47:53.513+12:002013-09-17T16:47:53.513+12:00I'm really glad you put this out there. I too ...I'm really glad you put this out there. I too was surprised, and disappointed, but some of the reactions in this community about that op-ed piece, which I thought was really, really good (and exceedingly necessary). I applaud your willingness to take a stand, and to do so so articulately. Well done.Esperanzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12375150088333673843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-60715445023907956212013-09-17T08:01:01.353+12:002013-09-17T08:01:01.353+12:00Hi Mali,
scary advertising popping up! It's m...Hi Mali,<br /><br />scary advertising popping up! It's me, Valery, but don't dare to leave a link to this post, sorry.<br />I'm glad you pointed out that sometimes people try more than the "maximum" dose. My (regulated) hospital refused to give me more drugs when the drugs were hardly working. I always thought I was bad for statistics/too expensive/too hard because I read blogs with women trying higher doses. It never occurred to me that I'd (possibly/probably) already had the maximum dose.<br />So thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-78074882381536545192013-09-16T21:44:46.949+12:002013-09-16T21:44:46.949+12:00Thanks Wolfers. We certainly DO exist! (And well...Thanks Wolfers. We certainly DO exist! (And well, too).Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-38008177665439070452013-09-16T21:44:20.041+12:002013-09-16T21:44:20.041+12:00Glad that you shared my perspective. I was a bit ...Glad that you shared my perspective. I was a bit nervous publishing this one.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-77759060125227941512013-09-16T21:43:18.946+12:002013-09-16T21:43:18.946+12:00This made me a) roll my eyes, and then b) laugh. ...This made me a) roll my eyes, and then b) laugh. Mr Edwards clearly didn't read my blog. I wonder if he has any idea how ridiculous this makes him look?Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-30763801814180387872013-09-16T12:09:57.057+12:002013-09-16T12:09:57.057+12:00"Pamela and Miriam are not condemning this in..."Pamela and Miriam are not condemning this industry. Far from it. But they are saying that some balance is necessary. They make the very valid point that fertility treatments don’t work for everyone, and that bears talking about - in the industry, the support community, bloggers, friends and family. I wonder, does the fertility industry and the wider infertility community just want those of us who are childless to go away and be quiet, and pretend it never happened to us? I fear so. We are after all bad advertising to potential clients of fertility treatments (or adoption), letting them know that treatments (or adoption efforts) aren't always successful. We are the worst nightmares of the women deep in the trenches, and we unwittingly provoke "survivor's guilt" amongst many of the women who have their prized children with them now. We know that. We understand that. We accept that, albeit sadly. But we won't go away. We need to speak out, and be recognised."<br /><br />Well said. That's the nail in the wall. <br /><br />Me, I never had the opportunity to try IVFs- far from it. I suspect if not for the tumor, the gyn-ob would have encouraged me to look into IVF (fertility industry). <br />So I'm thankful that Pamela and Miriam have spoken up, and so I'm hoping that more of us folks will do the same, that we're not alone anymore, and that we DO exist. Wolfershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12937704236275533865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-84196358506816940762013-09-15T18:06:11.428+12:002013-09-15T18:06:11.428+12:00The Fertility Planit Conference takes place on Sep...The Fertility Planit Conference takes place on September 15 and will be available to watch live and on demand on FORA.tv at http://fora.tv/conference/fertility_planit_2013_nyc.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05769737998115306068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-53708222951175456112013-09-15T13:50:15.541+12:002013-09-15T13:50:15.541+12:00I agree, I thought the rebuttal piece was WAYYY of...I agree, I thought the rebuttal piece was WAYYY off base. But I do love your commentary, I think it was definitely on base. I am just glad that the public is being educated that fertility treatment doesn't fix every thing. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-30666082114206598522013-09-15T05:14:14.675+12:002013-09-15T05:14:14.675+12:00Yes, we need as many complementary voices out ther...Yes, we need as many complementary voices out there as we can get, don't you think?Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-40953305720447323212013-09-15T05:13:39.262+12:002013-09-15T05:13:39.262+12:00Your friend's comments are such a perfect exam...Your friend's comments are such a perfect example of why there is a need for articles like this.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-53232302125591899122013-09-15T05:12:38.400+12:002013-09-15T05:12:38.400+12:00Exactly, Iris! I always hate it when we are descr...Exactly, Iris! I always hate it when we are described as those who are not success stories, when in many ways, I think we are the true success stories. (I've written about that before!)Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-18771999945228831622013-09-15T05:11:16.753+12:002013-09-15T05:11:16.753+12:00Thank YOU for writing it!Thank YOU for writing it!Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-40483064640902414212013-09-15T05:11:00.502+12:002013-09-15T05:11:00.502+12:00Oh yes, the "never give up" advice. All...Oh yes, the "never give up" advice. All very well for someone who is not going through the same situation or decision-making.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-90504929585627614072013-09-15T01:30:44.960+12:002013-09-15T01:30:44.960+12:00Yes, well said, Mali. I was a bit surprised by Mel...Yes, well said, Mali. I was a bit surprised by Mel's reaction to the NYT piece. As you said, I guess we came to it from different places and took away very different messages. <br /><br />As I said in my own comment to Mel, I’m glad most of us seem to agree that more education & support is needed for those going through or considering infertility treatment. And those of us who choose to walk away — and there are many more of us out there than most people realize — should not be (further) stigmatized. That was what I felt the NYT article was trying to get across. <br /><br />And I was so heartened to see Aisha Tyler of "The Talk" speaking out about her own infertility experiences yesterday. I thought that so much of what she had to say complemented the messages in Pamela & Miriam's article. loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-3381885377925106832013-09-14T21:47:55.134+12:002013-09-14T21:47:55.134+12:00Your last paragraph? That's why I'm glad ...Your last paragraph? That's why I'm glad I live in NZ! It always surprises me on visits to the US to see all the ads for medications on TV. <br /><br />Yes, agree I wish the outliers weren't profiled so often. (There's an article about re-homing adopted children going around Facebook at the moment). That's precisely why I was glad the NYT put up this Pamela and Miriam's article.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-64278227425970160572013-09-14T20:55:18.011+12:002013-09-14T20:55:18.011+12:00Well said, Mali. I've read Pamela's and Mi...Well said, Mali. I've read Pamela's and Miriam's peace and shared it in FB and added a little note with it and someone told me about the "miracle pregnancy" story of his friend's. Doh!!! I managed to reply to him without turning it into a debate, though.<br /><br />Anyway, the thing is...those who don't know about the statistics DO (including myself 'coz we never tried IVF) think that the success rate is SO MUCH higher. After we found out we were infertiles, a close friend (at that time she hadn't started TTC yet but was planning to in the future) lightly said, "If that were to happen to me, I know our insurance covers a few IVFs."<br /><br />I was like...huh? That easy? You don't even know what it feels like not being able to get pregnant over and over again and you probably don't even know how many drugs that you have to put into your body prior to that, do you?<br /><br />From her response, I can tell that she's also bought into the high success rate of IVF. I've also heard many people suggest these things lightly because they don't know what it's all about. Just like the adoption problem. I once linked an article about that and some people were shocked to know how tough it could be to adopt a baby. So I'm all for spreading awareness, one article at a time, though of course there's a risk of their being read from a different perspective. Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-28173107999122749222013-09-14T16:54:37.047+12:002013-09-14T16:54:37.047+12:00I am glad that Pamela and MIriam's article was...I am glad that Pamela and MIriam's article was published. My husband didn't want to pursue IVF. As we have MF infertility, we both would have been dosed with some heavy duty drugs. We would have needed IVF with ICSI, and NONE of this would have been covered by our insurance. And NONE of it, had any guarantee. It certainly would have been a strain on our budget. He is 14 years older than me, which means he was already in his mid-50s when we started talking about it, and just didn't want to hop on the roller coaster of infertility treatments at that point in his life. This has been very difficult for me to deal with. I have had several friends who tried IVF, but were unsuccessful and either remained child free or adopted. I wish none of us ever had to deal with infertility. I'm glad many of us can afford, or are covered, and can get treatment that leads to a baby. But, I get annoyed at the "never give up" and pollyanna attitude that some have. We can't we be seen as successes for living our lives as we are, even without kids. IrisDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14120842144868527846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-38601792684873569492013-09-14T16:16:04.436+12:002013-09-14T16:16:04.436+12:00Thanks, Mali. You've done a great service ampl...Thanks, Mali. You've done a great service amplifying the messages behind the op-ed.Pamela T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11474998003921896431noreply@blogger.com