tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post762981232693111948..comments2024-03-28T06:32:27.436+13:00Comments on No Kidding in NZ: Sharing our stories ... or not ...Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-15671355237267754312012-11-15T05:15:17.047+13:002012-11-15T05:15:17.047+13:00I agree with the others; you're under no oblig...I agree with the others; you're under no obligation to share, and even if you were to share, it doesn't mean the word will be received, sort of like all gifts.Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-72125390144807435782012-11-14T03:26:26.597+13:002012-11-14T03:26:26.597+13:00I think people should talk when it feels right, wi...I think people should talk when it feels right, without any sense of what we "should" do. It felt better for you not to speak. After what you've been through, you deserve the right to speak when YOU feel good about it. <br /><br />I have come from Stirrup Queens, and I am hoping that you get your wish :) Good luck to you!<br />Chickenpighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09442755180328605920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-33407981301428992532012-11-11T18:13:00.430+13:002012-11-11T18:13:00.430+13:00The thing is, sometimes you can talk and talk to p...The thing is, sometimes you can talk and talk to people and they do not hear a word you say. I suspect the ranger was in that space - he had the experiences he had, and yours would have made no difference to his world view. Therefore, keeping your experiences to yourself probably save you some irritation.<br /><br />It's your story to share as you see fit. areyoukiddingmehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16107214079237461141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-71683399134088243722012-11-11T13:22:53.598+13:002012-11-11T13:22:53.598+13:00Haven't read the other comments so apologies i...Haven't read the other comments so apologies if this is repeating....<br /><br />I do not feel like anyone such as yourself has to be the "living childfree/less" diplomat for the rest of their lives. <br /><br />You are a beautiful example of how it is possible to come through infertility without having achieved the goal of baby - but achieving another goal of being sane, happy and still in love with your partner, with a rich, full life. It is wonderful and very brave that you do share your experiences with others and every time you do, you open their eyes to what is possible and you teach others (fertile/infertile) out there that there are "just as good" outcomes in the end... but you should NOT feel obligated to carry the torch for the cause with every interaction you may have that might have a reproductive angle. <br /><br />I think that you should not feel the slightest bit of guilt or reluctance to hold back that part of yourself if you just want to be in the moment. <br /><br />It is a part of you, but you are so much more than a woman that came through infertility. And there is nothing wrong with just being you instead of attaching that label to yourself if it's not something you want to deal with right then. <br /><br />I hope you had/are having an absolutely splendid time. :)CandyGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10664818861874419334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-73058890676546625572012-11-11T06:42:52.777+13:002012-11-11T06:42:52.777+13:00That's such a tough call. I agree, there's...That's such a tough call. I agree, there's a time and a place for these conversations and doing it while meeting everyone isn't the time. But the later conversation. Just argh. It would be one thing if you were being asked those questions, but to be on the outside listening . . . I don't know if I would have had the guts to say anything unless I felt included in some way.<br /><br />I think you handled everything the best you could: you didn't jump in an derail the conversation, but you did stay true to yourself. No apologizes for where you are and no hiding behind an untruth. I think your last sentences of this post summed it up beautifully. Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-42183118760876303042012-11-11T06:01:30.556+13:002012-11-11T06:01:30.556+13:00Oops...I mean a close friend of mine was really st...Oops...I mean a close friend of mine was really stressed out at work and of all the months of TTC, she never thought it would be the month when she got pregnant.Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-22964443934425039902012-11-10T23:23:45.711+13:002012-11-10T23:23:45.711+13:00When I travel, I'm only a part of myself. I l...When I travel, I'm only a part of myself. I leave the infertility, the lack of (living) children, the process of getting to where I am today, behind in London. Travelling me is just me - no explaination required.<br />I loved this post.Illanarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05203774916178621215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-89438716757136196542012-11-10T21:53:40.513+13:002012-11-10T21:53:40.513+13:00LOVE the conclusion of this post. :-D I must say I...LOVE the conclusion of this post. :-D I must say I bristled a bit when I read the phrases "we just relaxed and it happened". I posted a link on FB once concerning IVF and infertility and some of the commenters still believed that they knew "a friend who quit job and relaxed and then got pregnant." Dohhhh!!!! I responded by saying that a close friend of mine was REALLY stressed out when they tried baby #1 and she got pregnant that same month. <br /><br />Anyway, I remember in the beginning when we first decided to surrender to life without kids, I felt the need to "defend our decision" (because it's not a "popular" decision considering we hadn't tried anything much). Thus I had more or less prepared myself mentally on what to say whenever someone broached the topic to me. However, as time goes by, I feel less need to defend myself because I feel more confident that it's the best decision for us. And that the world doesn't crumble down even though we're facing life without kids. :-)Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-53633670526715356682012-11-10T19:26:48.655+13:002012-11-10T19:26:48.655+13:00It is a freedom - to share your story when you wan...It is a freedom - to share your story when you want.<br />And keep it to yourself when you don't want.<br /><br />When trevelling, I never ever share my story. I travel (also) to escape my infertility, to forget about it. So I never ever feel like talking about it.<br /><br />I enjoy travelling - most of the time nothing identifies me, except the first name and nationality (Where are you from? - I love this sentence when we are travelling - it is part small talk among travellers). <br /><br />When travelling, we meet lots of couples in our group age (40 - 50). It is interesting to guess - some are childfree, others have already adult children.... but it isn't really important. At least not when travelling.Klarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17028863974858724867noreply@blogger.com