tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57251061423597022002024-03-19T11:45:18.725+13:00No Kidding in NZAn Infertility Survivor's Thoughts on Life Without KidsMalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comBlogger886125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-37978523635907265832024-03-18T18:03:00.002+13:002024-03-18T18:03:53.774+13:00Quotes in homage of the No Kidding blogging community<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">I love a good quote. <a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/search/label/quotes">Regular readers know that already</a>! I
love finding that someone has perfectly, succinctly,
eloquently expressed an emotion I have not previously been able to articulate.
Or when I read a quote that has expressed a feeling or belief I have had, and I see it validated in print. (If only I could memorise them all when I first read them.) Quotes
can go a long way – much further than a too-wordy blogpost! And so, today’s
post again highlights thoughts from the insightful Maya Angelou:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">“If you are always trying to be normal, you’ll never know
how amazing you can be.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This seems to be made for the No Kidding community. We feel
ever so normal until we find we will never have children. All of a sudden, we
are isolated, judged, and seen as different. Not normal, even. But look around
at our No Kidding blogging community. They embody this quote, and are truly amazing.
I hope they know it.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">“When you learn, teach, when you get, give.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As a lifelong learner, I love this. I think it is also a
special strength of our blogging community. Going through something difficult
teaches us so many things. My <a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/p/gifts-of-infertility-series.html"><i>Gifts of Infertility</i> series</a> is evidence of how that worked for me. This community gives us so much support when we need it. Passing it on through
our blogs, and giving and taking the community
support that has grown here, helps many. Teaching as we learn,
giving as we get. This is such a good example for our lives.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And last but never least, </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”<br /> Maya Angelou</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjepBzke1rmXYrqiWLyTDjJfaUITe8ZOjAZm7QZEy8Hao2Hfvhtk2AEmx1xRDhM_iukeP2tSLW29YpxEai_e7oETKGdQs-9XqptYCiyILAeNpN9PkAzMsDxTckycPWdAw-drwym164f9g7KNOg9gE3Izusq0KUHhQ3qjhPqBMRUYdV-biZzgO1BvyIZaQ8/s1134/P1070242%20NK%20communities%20web.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1134" data-original-width="1134" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjepBzke1rmXYrqiWLyTDjJfaUITe8ZOjAZm7QZEy8Hao2Hfvhtk2AEmx1xRDhM_iukeP2tSLW29YpxEai_e7oETKGdQs-9XqptYCiyILAeNpN9PkAzMsDxTckycPWdAw-drwym164f9g7KNOg9gE3Izusq0KUHhQ3qjhPqBMRUYdV-biZzgO1BvyIZaQ8/s320/P1070242%20NK%20communities%20web.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>
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Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
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<![endif]-->Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-66252075450141447282024-03-12T17:07:00.003+13:002024-03-15T19:09:50.670+13:00No Kidding Voices Count<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">If you haven’t read <a href="https://findingadifferentpath.blogspot.com/2024/03/my-childless-not-by-choice-response-on.html">Jess’s
post about speaking</a>, from a No Kidding childless not by choice perspective
at the function for the book <i><a href="https://adoptionunfiltered.com/">Adoption
Unfiltered</a></i> (frequent commenter here, <a href="https://lavenderluz.com/">Lori Lavender Luz</a> is a co-author) then I
urge you to do it. Do it now! She talks from the perspective of someone who
tried to go the adoption route, but is now living a kick-ass (her words) life
without children. Many of you might share her perspective, or recognise some of
her concerns from your own experience. There was an interesting series of posts
from different bloggers some years ago about why we did not adopt. Here’s <a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2015/03/why-we-didnt-adopt.html">my post at that time</a>, and it includes links to other posts. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">She noted that she hoped her comments would not be seen as
sour grapes, given that she did not get the child(ren) she had hoped for from
adoption. It was this sentence, above all others, that set me thinking, and
that inspired this post.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Why should we feel that our comments on a process that did
not work for us should be disparaged as “bitter” or “sour grapes” compared to
those who are considered the “success” stories? Answer = we shouldn’t. Our views
are just as valid, and perhaps more so, because we are evidence that the
processes are not infallible, that they don’t work for everyone, and in many
cases, they don’t work for the majority. Everyone needs to understand why that
is. Our voices count, and should be heard. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In general, people who get what they wanted understandably find
it hard to critique the processes that gave them their heart’s desire, however
hard they were to go through. Stepping back and looking at these difficult
processes objectively can be very confronting to them. (Though Lori LL is a
notable exception, and is doing great work talking about adoption.) How can someone
who got the child they wanted critique the process if, in doing that, they feel
they’re betraying that child? How can they critique a process or agency or
clinic when that can be seen as a critique of their own decisions, or of them
and their families. It’s not surprising some might react defensively, or simply
be unable to step back and review the process without bias. Those of us who
went through these processes but came out without a child have a very different
perspective on what is good, what needs to be changed, and why. But for the adoptive/IVF
parents, it is as if they wouldn’t have their children if things needed to be
changed. And that becomes terrifyingly unimaginable for them. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And of course, the best form of defence is attack. So yes,
it is true, just as Jess feared, that some of the “successes” of assisted
reproduction/adoption etc will label us as bitter, our perspective as “sour
grapes,” and any criticism is seen as “not getting over it.” Or they think
we’ve taken the easy way out, and didn’t deserve their “success.” I’ve seen all
these reactions in the media, in blogs, and in email exchanges. Our own Pamela
Tsigdinos has been subjected to <a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2013/09/fertility-fantasies.html">this
view in the media</a>, but is undeterred, <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/we-must-protect-ivf-protect-patients-too-opinion-1877038">still
speaking out on IVF still speaking out on IVF and patient rights</a> just last
week. It’s a case of being prepared to see things from a different perspective.
We all have different points of view, and those who didn’t get the “golden
ticket” may even have a wider perspective. We learn to see a subject from all
sides, because we’ve been on both sides – the hopeful who desperately want it
to work, and those for whom hope wasn’t enough. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It is precisely because of this differing perspective that we
are the ones who should be speaking out. I see both the joy of the wanted
results and the problematic issues around the assisted reproduction industry
and adoption – the so-called success rates, regulation and limits and lack of
limits, over-pricing and prescribing, the treatment of birth parents, care or
lack of care for the children involved, payment and non-payment, support and
lack of support, and all the myriad international and cultural issues, etc. It’s
not a contradiction to both be pleased that there are paths to parenthood for the
infertile, and to want to ensure these paths take care of those prospective
parents during and after this process, as well as act in the best interests of
the children who may emerge from this. That’s not sour grapes. It is in fact
much more holistic. And maybe we might actually be better placed to think about
the children’s interests, because we don’t have that deep, personal parental relationship
that can at times (understandably) trigger defence mechanisms and block honest
reflection.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It should be a requirement to consider all these factors in
any discussion about assisted reproduction or adoption. All of these processes
are far more complicated than the public discourse or industry advocates ever acknowledge.
Along with the details – the science, financial, emotional and societal issues –
of adoption or assisted reproduction, they don’t talk about the hidden results
that no-one involved really wants to acknowledge. The No Kidding. Us. Me. My
existence suggests an outcome no-one wants to admit is real or is statistically
very significant, and is terrifying to those people entering these processes. It’s
easier not to consider us, talk to us, or include us. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Yet we might be the ones who understand best what the data
means to real people. Many of us who walked away from IVF or assisted
reproduction or adoption – either before by choosing not to go through the
process, or after, when it was clear there wouldn’t be a baby coming as a
result – are the ones who recognised these risk factors, who understood the
data, the implications of all the various options and avenues, and made the
hard decision – or had it made for us – and had to walk away. That was never easy.
But it is an outcome that everyone needs to acknowledge, and more importantly, understand.
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">After all, our message is that our outcomes should not be
hidden, ignored, or feared. We shouldn’t be erased from the conversation. We
should be an important part of it. Our perspective counts. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That is why I’m immensely proud of Jess that her always wise perspective was included in
the conversation around <i><a href="https://adoptionunfiltered.com/">Adoption Unfiltered</a></i>. (Of course, I’m immensely
proud of Lori LL and her co-authors too.) In fact, I think it is terribly
important, and moving – monumental even – that someone who didn't get the baby
they wanted should be the one to talk about that. An unfiltered discussion indeed! </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Our voices count, and our voices matter. Sadly, the
opportunities to use them are still too few and far between.</p>
<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH7dOsyf0RDM0r_QEfStukzzB4O762H5BCiDaizoU7edFJk-gTnTGIzqWOb81yR681xktr0q5TNsZ2uLtmAAq_9611WgKagQXilLR5j0naplRiAlbCAphF8THFH7Z-ELzoE0cCbF67xlfSgptNvR0dYc4591zyVgWw77vmGp6iasojbuhXxNYngaO81Ok/s654/P1210534%20our%20voices%20count.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="654" data-original-width="654" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH7dOsyf0RDM0r_QEfStukzzB4O762H5BCiDaizoU7edFJk-gTnTGIzqWOb81yR681xktr0q5TNsZ2uLtmAAq_9611WgKagQXilLR5j0naplRiAlbCAphF8THFH7Z-ELzoE0cCbF67xlfSgptNvR0dYc4591zyVgWw77vmGp6iasojbuhXxNYngaO81Ok/w239-h239/P1210534%20our%20voices%20count.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><br /><p></p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-32853429330325293812024-03-05T16:06:00.000+13:002024-03-05T16:06:22.062+13:00Adapting to change<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">I’ve been thinking about resilience and adapting to change
recently, and was chatting to my husband about it. We agreed that many people
struggle to adapt to change – his parents did, for example. He laughed, and
pointed out how much it annoys us when the supermarket changes its layout, or
drops some of our favourite things. “That’s just irritating,” I said. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Infuriating, even, I will admit to you now! But
it doesn’t make me afraid, in the way I see that change makes some people
afraid.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Adapting to change is really hard. Covid was scary enough,
and there are changes all over the world right now, both positive and negative,
that has various groups reeling at the thought of it. Change can be good, or it
can be bad, on individual or societal levels. When I think of my own personal
situation, most change I have adapted to in my life has been positive, even if
it was very scary at times. I’m thinking about the changes and opportunities as
a result of second wave feminism, my student exchange, and the various career
opportunities that have come my way. Even then, I slowly adapted to the idea
that having children would be a good idea. And I wholeheartedly embraced it.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Until, of course, I had to adapt to the idea that a) I was
infertile, and b) I would remain childless throughout my life. That change was a
huge adjustment. Even though, for much of my adult life up to then, I had not
been affected by the fact I did not yet have children, I had assumed I could have them if I wanted to do so. Equally, I had not contemplated my life
without them. <br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Adjusting to that change was hard. Hard, because it involved
a number of issues around self-confidence, including feelings of being
unworthy and of guilt, as well as the external reactions of others <span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-NZ; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-NZ;">– </span> judgement, isolation from society’s
mainstream, condescension, etc. It required not just an adjustment to the idea of my place in
society, but an adjustment in how I saw myself. Ultimately, though, learning to
change the way I saw myself and society and my life was what helped me to be
able to embrace the life I have. I learned to appreciate my life, and to be
grateful for what I have.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I look at people who can’t adjust to changes in their lives.
Whether it is the white man who feels his status in life is threatened, or
those who can never pull out of the grief of not getting what they had always
wanted, or those who can’t adjust to inevitable changes, there are plenty of
examples of people who are change resistant. My father-in-law, for example,
struggled with getting old, grieving the years of fitness that he had lost
decades earlier, rather than feeling grateful for what he still had (eg a brain
that still functioned, family, his wife, relative longevity, etc). </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Frankly, I pity them. Because the one thing I’ve learned
about my own resilience is that fighting against change is painful. It hurts to
always want something that we know we’ll never have. In comparison, learning to
be grateful for what we have, looking forward to what we know is achievable, and
finding joy in the moment all feel so much better than an impossible yearning.
Isn’t that the key to living a better life, to enjoying ourselves, to being
compassionate and understanding? </p>
<p> </p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-13945160661337365502024-02-26T16:25:00.004+13:002024-02-26T17:05:38.463+13:00Repetition<p>When we are children, we learn by mimicking others, and by repetition. I remember first studying languages - mimicking, and repetition were the keys, along with understand why sentences were constructed the way they were, or why things meant what they did. I still love that, and I've just started teaching myself - with online assistance - another language. Repetition is the key.</p><p>I was thinking about my post last week. Nothing I wrote there was new on this blog, except for the way it was expressed and packaged. The messages were the same I've been giving for years. This was not the first time I've repeated messages, or even whole posts. I felt a little embarrassed - am I all out of ideas? </p><p>But then I thought about the value of repetition.When I was adjusting to the fact that the rest of my life I would not have children, I knew only a few people who had entered the No Kidding world before me. I knew I didn't want to be like the person who was still stuck mourning her losses, decades later. A kind woman I had known 10-15 years earlier who lived a good life was an inspiration, as was another friend who was blissfully free of the self-recrimination I felt. </p><p>Mimicking the aspects of their behaviour and attitudes helped me learn more about myself, understand who I was, and what I wanted. Other discoveries - for example, learning that I could change the way I thought - were also beneficial, but only after repeating these lessons to myself over and again. It's how I learned to put the past behind me, and embrace the life ahead of me. It's also how I remind myself regularly of lessons that are worth holding close.<br /></p><p>Repetition. It gets a bad rap. I'll keep doing it. Unashamedly.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-k_ENNFK8Gbeu8T8G0IGtx4jzR0s3-43viu-BKd4wGJLHZu6rMnr9VIN_MhBdqf-vfAqzx9xY30k0T3mp13uBrBEFqcG_2Kww8Yo3Qc7I4lpCl5szRitBoBw4fYpkESKlb6AHkLII_Wp0xj3quBCgJTj74KaXZluSPLYT23Bi_dfBkop_CZV8Kae4I4g/s3448/repetition.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3448" data-original-width="3448" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-k_ENNFK8Gbeu8T8G0IGtx4jzR0s3-43viu-BKd4wGJLHZu6rMnr9VIN_MhBdqf-vfAqzx9xY30k0T3mp13uBrBEFqcG_2Kww8Yo3Qc7I4lpCl5szRitBoBw4fYpkESKlb6AHkLII_Wp0xj3quBCgJTj74KaXZluSPLYT23Bi_dfBkop_CZV8Kae4I4g/w320-h320/repetition.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-37147633004660785922024-02-19T18:02:00.005+13:002024-02-19T18:02:51.759+13:00Thinking positively: A Guide<div><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">A decade ago, I made a note in my blogging drafts folder of a <a href="http://there-is-a-crack-in-everything.blogspot.com/2014/03/how-to-look-on-bright-side-part.html">series
of posts</a> written by Hope at <a href="http://there-is-a-crack-in-everything.blogspot.com/">A Crack in
Everything</a> (still online, but not added to since 2015) that talked about an
“encouragement card” issued by an IVF clinic, in an attempt to ease the stress
felt by those undergoing the process. The card was inspired by a study showing
that positive thinking helps relieve stress, and its ten points basically said,
“think positively.” Not bad advice, but not terribly helpful. Do read all three posts. They’re
really wonderful. And I hope that Hope is doing well, wherever she is.</p><p class="MsoNormal">She included a great list of things that would have helped her at the time, and at the end of the posts, she asked, “What would be on your personal
encouragement card?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It's taken ten years, but I’m finally getting around to
writing about this. All these years later, I’m not thinking about the IVF
process, of course, but rather the life that came after. I guess my whole blog has been
a personal encouragement card. It reflects what helped me, and what I say to
myself to keep going, regardless of the situation that has got me down. These messages both apply to No Kidding situations, but also to many other life experiences too. And although I completely agree that thinking positively
helps me enjoy life, feel compassion, and feel fulfilled, we sometimes need a guideline
on how to get there. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So my personal encouragement card would include the
following:</p>
</div><ol style="text-align: left;"><li>You’re allowed to feel crappy. Let yourself. Forgive
yourself for this too.</li><li>
But you won’t feel like this forever. Know that it is true, until
you can come to actually feel it and believe it. You will be okay.</li><li>
You’re also allowed to feel good. Smile. Laugh. Feel bliss. It’s
not a betrayal. It helps. And anything that helps is worth it. </li><li>
Try some mindfulness, consciously enjoying the little things
of life. Good music, something funny, a good cup of coffee or tea, the sun on your
face, good food, a hug from a friend, a warm bath or hot shower, etc. Fleeting feelings
of comfort or joy is a great start, and can grow into a practice.</li><li>When you are ready, let yourself think about what might be the
positives in your life. You’ll need to teach yourself – or maybe even force
yourself, at first – to look for them though. Trust me – they will be there. There
is a positive side. </li><li>When you’ve found it or them, let yourself enjoy the positive
side.</li><li class="MsoNormal">Remember that just because you enjoy on the positives, it
doesn’t mean you deserved this, or brought it on yourself. There’s nothing to
feel guilty about. This life may not be what you planned. But it yours. The
positives are there, they’re real, and it would be a waste to ignore them.</li><li>
Learn to challenge the negative voices – your own, and
others. Once you’ve disputed them, don’t let them back in.</li><li>Love yourself, and feel compassion for yourself. Give
yourself comfort. Stop beating yourself up. It helps more than you can imagine. </li><li>Know you are enough. You will come to believe this.</li></ol><div>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>What would be on your personal encouragement card?</i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i> </i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0MnMe-Azhoh9V46tBkrW8yMq_TQpZGlkpi05ZZWk4cJ3LQH5fRRExWFIuh1O6uDxmZWslyFD5rS8Xz1IpZ6W6PcE9pdR9x3YfWPqfsNMhoUQoC2OJm1SSShzoDlbe0Ks77XRiBp3j4fszFQfAKV83P2Pjg7mT2QQkCwB_VrsHSHMt5X6mJX-vdK8_kwg/s877/sunflower%20bright%20side.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="877" data-original-width="877" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0MnMe-Azhoh9V46tBkrW8yMq_TQpZGlkpi05ZZWk4cJ3LQH5fRRExWFIuh1O6uDxmZWslyFD5rS8Xz1IpZ6W6PcE9pdR9x3YfWPqfsNMhoUQoC2OJm1SSShzoDlbe0Ks77XRiBp3j4fszFQfAKV83P2Pjg7mT2QQkCwB_VrsHSHMt5X6mJX-vdK8_kwg/s320/sunflower%20bright%20side.jpg" width="320" /></a></i></div><i><br /></i><p></p>
</div>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-28034630776163549332024-02-13T13:24:00.001+13:002024-02-13T13:24:08.338+13:00Monday Miscellany: Another No Kidding Version<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I was chatting with an old friend yesterday (just to
clarify, she is one I’ve known for 44 years, not an OLD friend, even though we
are of course, both getting older), and mentioned I needed to write a post for
this blog. She is also living a No Kidding life. She commented that for years,
people would try to convince her to have children. That she needed to have kids
so she would have someone to look after her in her old age. Aside from the
obvious, that this is no guarantee of having care, she noted that this attitude
is completely selfish. I totally agree. I’ve seen it in practice. There wasn’t
always a lot of gratitude, the reliance on the children made the elderly feel
very vulnerable. Whereas if plans had been made, and put into action, they
would have actually had more control over their lives in their last years.
Another reminder to us all.</li></ul>
<ul style="text-align: left;"><li class="MsoNormal">I’m again thinking about the carbon emissions of travel. We
tend to go on longer trips, so that we have fewer long haul flights. I was
thinking about Taylor Swift flying back and forth from Japan to see her boyfriend
play some apparently-important game in the US. Then I thought of a family of
teenagers and adults I know that is flying for four hours to Melbourne to see
Taylor Swift’s concert. Then they fly home after only a day or two. It made me
feel – if not wholesome, then at least much less guilty about international
travel. Having children really does massively increase a person’s carbon
footprint.</li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li class="MsoNormal">So it’s getting real. I mentioned a while ago I have an
essay included in an anthology that is coming out this year, called <i><a href="https://linktr.ee/otherhood.editors">Otherhood</a></i>. In fact, it’s just
in a few months, in early May. Here’s a totally permitted sneak peek at the cover. I’ll give more
information then, but I know they're publishing in paper and ebooks. There's an insta page - <a href="https://www.instagram.com/otherhood.book/">https://www.instagram.com/otherhood.book/</a> and I'm quoted in their first post there. It can also be found on Goodreads too, to add it to your to-read list.<br /> <br /></li><li class="MsoNormal">I love the blurb on the back. It encompasses us all, and emphasises the need for "a more inclusive conversation about what makes a fulfilling life." <br /></li></ul><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3iPOaHFDKLJsB4pCVKdz9gmj2hG6ub-wAzVd8huXS2nQKhkJ2F5eZOuBm8493bGC2rkq69HiXYb6OleGWYrhPMFRs1EzVv0ckVqVv2NHbHdkZ1i9YogEc4WbHsUAkhA-a6eRdqfZ52ugxeniVqo37t_AmgJaL6eJUXeYpMX0MIziUhKUK163KgkDAj44/s1916/OTHERHOOD%20COVER%20front%20back%203.2mb.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1338" data-original-width="1916" height="279" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3iPOaHFDKLJsB4pCVKdz9gmj2hG6ub-wAzVd8huXS2nQKhkJ2F5eZOuBm8493bGC2rkq69HiXYb6OleGWYrhPMFRs1EzVv0ckVqVv2NHbHdkZ1i9YogEc4WbHsUAkhA-a6eRdqfZ52ugxeniVqo37t_AmgJaL6eJUXeYpMX0MIziUhKUK163KgkDAj44/w400-h279/OTHERHOOD%20COVER%20front%20back%203.2mb.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><br /></li></ul><p> </p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-26060548476221232182024-02-05T17:33:00.002+13:002024-02-05T17:33:33.226+13:00Just Us<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">Yesterday, my husband and I celebrated a <a href="https://aseparatelife.wordpress.com/2024/02/05/love/">major wedding anniversary</a>. MAJOR! It seems hard to believe that we are that old, to have been
married for so many years. We’ve had an amazing time together, with the usual
ups and downs that people have. It’s just that our ups and downs have not been
children-related. Wait. Actually, some of them have been – infertility and
pregnancy loss and getting used to the idea of never having children are ALL
children-related. They’re just not the usual ups and downs. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I know that a lot of people go through relationship
difficulties during infertility, especially if there are differences of opinion
over how far to go down the reproductive assistance or adoption angle, if
either or both of those are possible options. And I know of relationships that
haven’t worked out as a result. But I also know many who have formalised their
relationships after becoming permanently childless, many who have celebrated
their relationships with new commitments or new beginnings together. Being
childless does not doom a relationship, just as having kids doesn’t keep people
together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband and I became closer
through our losses, and have stayed closer as the years have passed. (Which is
not to say that we don’t drive each other crazy at times. We are very different
personalities!) We have been lucky, we know. But it has also required
understanding, commitment, and patience. A lot of patience! Love can get you
through. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So we went out for a special meal on Saturday night, and I
cooked us a favourite meal on Sunday and we had a special bottle of champagne.
I’m not going to lie, though. There was a twinge of emptiness – people
celebrating this number of anniversaries are usually surrounded by children and
grandchildren. Others who genuinely want to celebrate our relationship. Our
anniversaries always pass by unrecognised by everyone else except us, and our
parents when they were still around. One of my sisters made a point of
remembering this year, publicly posting on my social media feed, which was lovely of her. </p><p class="MsoNormal">But otherwise, it was just us. Of
course, we could make a big deal of it. Invite friends over, sisters to visit,
etc. But ultimately, the relationship has been for us, about us, with us. There
haven’t been any other people in our lives distracting us, or acting as a
buffer zone in conflicts. It's always been just us. And therefore celebrating it that way, just the two
of us, seems somehow right. We are enough.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZLwiz6CquXh6GNlTb6STokMjLAX2gTX7l_aK94qlNAza62499fwVsC4W0C1K5CcyKY_AJAdL5A_Ut3k6npFCVaZ7aJ0xdbInfUMMhreUjYiB0b_Dar7JyXCeufv2_M29NghMddYjrmoBPkLaGF_NLyGMysxcOJLgffRimj-PwfNSeRV-mi_u_ZUvGPaI/s2477/just%20us%20enough.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2477" data-original-width="2477" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZLwiz6CquXh6GNlTb6STokMjLAX2gTX7l_aK94qlNAza62499fwVsC4W0C1K5CcyKY_AJAdL5A_Ut3k6npFCVaZ7aJ0xdbInfUMMhreUjYiB0b_Dar7JyXCeufv2_M29NghMddYjrmoBPkLaGF_NLyGMysxcOJLgffRimj-PwfNSeRV-mi_u_ZUvGPaI/s320/just%20us%20enough.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We had to celebrate with champagne, <br />of course!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>
<p> </p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-28395975563562902192024-01-30T18:15:00.001+13:002024-01-30T18:15:26.871+13:00Perspective in a No Kidding life<p>I have been struggling with what I might post today. I know what I'm going to write about next week. But today, I have been drawing a blank. As a result, I've been doing a lot of reading - of my drafts document, of previous posts, and of articles that have been referenced, discussed, and debated in the wider ALI blogging community. It has been interesting. The key theme that keeps coming up is that of perspective. </p><p></p><p>It comes up because so often there is a lack of perspective. Too often parents are unable to put themselves in our shoes, to see their comments from our perspective. Or we might be angry at others, unable to fully understand their perspective, or understand what motivates their comments. Equally, it might be that we can fully understand the perspective from the other side, but equally, not agree with their conclusions. After all, I might hear and understand someone's perspective and the points they are making, but still, on balance, disagree with their statements or analysis or judgements or approach. <br /></p><p>But when there is perspective, there is better balance. By trying to look at things from the perspectives of others, I understand that life is not always greener on the other side, that our "what-ifs" focus only on our dreams, not the myriad possible realities of life. Perspective therefore is really important to me. Developing it has helped me heal, it has helped me better understand others (including someone close to me), and it has helped me become more compassionate and forgiving. Though I've always had it (I credit that for being a middle child!), my approach is much more conscious these days. As a result, it has changed the way I think.<br /></p><p>Perspective grounds me. It gives me balance. It helps me understand
and appreciate my life. It also gives me more confidence in my own
views, knowing that I have tried to consider the positions of all
involved. That is liberating to someone who has always been more hesitant about volunteering my views. <br /></p><p>Perspective is particularly valuable in our No Kidding lives, allowing us to legitimately mourn what we have lost, and at the exact same time, allowing us to embrace and enjoy what we have as a result. There's such freedom in that.<br /></p><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge3T0JlOaRYJVNexGOJUFXEgbVq6CQtL1DX7ILZfccd62rkOd8ybj56QjItO1UTst-unl059gUTOrIrAQMuB9W0oXmjyZTs2bAQMHJkofT8c5rdozF4z7GKXG1qyvQaTfB6iUWXFiMqPiiCRGUgNehPD1-aKWQA2EaUTx_teZ1KYaCEVyLpNiyxYTaZDQ/s2958/Perspective%20agapanthus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2219" data-original-width="2958" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge3T0JlOaRYJVNexGOJUFXEgbVq6CQtL1DX7ILZfccd62rkOd8ybj56QjItO1UTst-unl059gUTOrIrAQMuB9W0oXmjyZTs2bAQMHJkofT8c5rdozF4z7GKXG1qyvQaTfB6iUWXFiMqPiiCRGUgNehPD1-aKWQA2EaUTx_teZ1KYaCEVyLpNiyxYTaZDQ/s320/Perspective%20agapanthus.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>Other relevant posts include:<br /></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2020/04/no-kidding-2020-project-day-10-balance.html">Balance</a></li><li><a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2022/09/pathways-not-barriers.html">Pathways, not Barriers</a></li></ul><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-3532968462219204702024-01-22T16:53:00.003+13:002024-01-22T16:53:29.996+13:00Monday Miscellany: No Kidding Version<p>Further to my <a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2024/01/getting-through-staying-whole-and.html">post last week</a>, this week I am both thriving and wilting. It's hot. Thinking about my photo from last week's post makes me want a swim. I'm generally not crazy enough to swim in cold Wellington waters. Unless the heat continues. Though I probably would have been to the beach several times if I had kids at home. Maybe I'd even have dared to dip in the water. Even thinking about it is tempting! </p><p>Not that, at my age, I would still have kids at home. It's interesting to make that adjustment mentally. For twenty years, I have thought to myself things like, "I would be doing X if I had kids," or alternatively, "I wouldn't be able to do X if I had kids." I didn't do it to torture myself - not after the first few years anyway. But it was just a way of acknowledging my life. Still, I actually have to stop doing that now. Except for one, none of my peers still have kids at home. Our lives, superficially at least, are all very similar in that regard.</p><p>We were talking about money this morning. My husband said we are living beyond our means. We dug into that, and although we are not in fact doing so in general, our travel aspirations and scarily, rampant inflation, could take us close to that realm. Although of course, as we get older, our spending will drop - except perhaps on medical expenses that are not covered, or living expenses and assistance. And I got wondering whether people with children, in similar financial circumstances to us, think about these things as much. Our relatives with children will always have them as a financial back up, just as I was for my mother (although it wasn't really necessary), and my husband and his brothers were all there for his parents (though their frugality made it unnecessary also). If my sisters and brothers-in-law ever need funds, their well-educated kids will be there for them. Do they ever consciously acknowledge that? Does it make life easier for them? Or do they just take it for granted, I wonder? <br /></p><p>Of course, in the interests of being fair, I also have to acknowledge those whose children might be more of a financial drain on their parents in their old age. Unless one of our nieces/nephews go rogue, or have terrible luck (always possible), we shouldn't have to deal with that. But parents can't ever really wash their hands of their children either. So it's a good reminder not to look at issues from only one perspective. <br /></p><p> </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-77441745324613766392024-01-15T17:26:00.007+13:002024-01-15T17:26:47.100+13:00Getting through, staying whole, and thriving<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">I found a quote the other day which I liked, and in following
up who had said it originally, I went down a rabbit-hole of wonderful quotes,
and spent an hour being inspired. The quote I was looking for was from the
wonderful Maya Angelou, and when I found that, I found some of her other words that
also apply to those of us who wanted to have children, however late in the
piece, but who were unable to become parents. In fact, they take us through the gamut from that intial shock and grief, to finding ourselves, and emerging feeling strong and victorious.<br /></p>
<blockquote><p class="MsoNormal">“The only way out of something is all the way through it.” - Maya Angelou<br /></p></blockquote>
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh, this is so true! When I had my second ectopic pregnancy,
I thought I knew all about ectopics. I thought I could get through the sadness
and loss more quickly as a result, or even skip it. I was wrong.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><blockquote>“You may not control all the events that happen to you, <br />
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<p class="MsoNormal">I love this. It’s how so many of us feel about not having
children. We wanted them. We have suffered loss, and we will continue to suffer
loss. But we are not less because of that. We are not reduced. We are just
changed from the people we were, or thought we were. In fact, in many ways we
are stronger and better. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And finally, she said, </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><blockquote>“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive;
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">I’m still looking for the style, but otherwise, my life is
exactly this. I can’t think of a better way to come out of infertility, and
into a new, No Kidding life, with this as your mission in life.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9HPYAsHXfSGiDEJeyTZUl3eEQkFJt1N_00YBhuYTGGDfXkGYUc0hiuHmdxQ8F7jPkbIfeAstFKaQnue3fHSqpDCRUzWDBFmVeDBh5gyexeJ61RlfIubOg-KE26whgiOP-tMSQt89HMHJecBAxb1Nr9MgNGkt1OyezD-XE_vXKe7H-fCVF7oM3ZBY_OKI/s1556/Quotes%20P1210594%20liliescr.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1556" data-original-width="1556" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9HPYAsHXfSGiDEJeyTZUl3eEQkFJt1N_00YBhuYTGGDfXkGYUc0hiuHmdxQ8F7jPkbIfeAstFKaQnue3fHSqpDCRUzWDBFmVeDBh5gyexeJ61RlfIubOg-KE26whgiOP-tMSQt89HMHJecBAxb1Nr9MgNGkt1OyezD-XE_vXKe7H-fCVF7oM3ZBY_OKI/w400-h400/Quotes%20P1210594%20liliescr.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><i><br /> PS. I was thriving when I took this photo of water lilies on the Chobe River in Botswana last year.</i><br /><p></p>
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<br />Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-58401112288329962382024-01-08T16:23:00.008+13:002024-01-08T16:27:31.459+13:00Looking back on the blog: 2023<p><!--[if !mso]>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">This week seems to be my week of <a href="https://aseparatelife.wordpress.com/2024/01/08/2023-a-tally/">reviewing 2023</a>. It feels a
bit weird, because I’m actively looking forward to 2024, I’m enjoying the
arrival of summer (a fan on behind me, windows open all over the house, bright
blue sky and sunshine, pohutukawa in bloom all over my suburb) and I’m full of
enthusiasm for new projects this year. (I hope it lasts!)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, back to the blog. I wrote 57 posts here in 2023, a few
more than the last couple of years, but really I’m staying stable, which is at
least encouraging, in my 14<sup>th</sup> year of blogging here. I like to
review my blog for the year, so here goes looking at some recurring themes:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, back to the blog. I wrote 55 posts in 2022, a few more
than 2021, but still fewer than 2020. There is still food for thought, but as I
joked to a fellow blogger the other day, I am not afraid of repetition! But as
I review my blogs from the year, as usual I see some themes. I don’t think I’ll
list the posts I talk about here. Because I know that different people might
take different things from them, especially as many posts started off with a
grumble, then finished with a positive, or vice versa.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Speaking of grumbles, I do feel as if I grumbled a lot more in
2023 than I did in previous years. I wrote at least eight posts specifically
about grumbles, or perhaps with acknowledgement of losses. 2023 was a year
marking a lot of losses, a 20<sup>th</sup> anniversary of loss, would-have-been
20<sup>th</sup> birthdays, etc. And I just didn’t feel that great. And I
decided that it was worth pointing out that even 20 years later, in a life that
no longer focuses on childlessness, there are still ouch moments, times when it
all comes back to me, times when I feel the losses.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That said, I also wrote eight posts about simply living my
life, and enjoying it, embracing it. Posts about choosing our lives, being No
Kidding and Happy, came easily to me in 2023 too. How about that for symmetry?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And the majority of my posts were about finding perspective,
healing, and finding strength and compassion. Sometimes externally, but usually
from the hard-won knowledge that comes from experiencing something first hand. My
favourite post of the year was in this theme, and ended with the line, “I might
have lost my blissful ignorance, but I have not lost my bliss.” <i><a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2023/06/transformation-from-trauma.html">Transformation
from Trauma</a></i> lays out how loss and infertility has changed me, made me more
aware of my frailty, but also more confident in my strength. Like many of my
posts, it was inspired by another blogger. Thanks for the inspiration, Jess! </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I am constantly amazed and delighted to find so much wisdom
in the comments of my posts - as I do every year. I am so lucky to have wise
and compassionate readers, and I am so lucky that you are all still visiting, adding your perspectives, reminding me of the "BothAnd" (thanks, LLL!), putting alternatives. <br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Which once again brings me to the fact that the first week
of January is blog delurking week. Yes, I know I’m late. But do leave a quick
hello in the comments (I’m fine with anonymous comments if you’re shy) or send
a quick email to me at nokiddinginnz at gmail dot com. I'd love to know who else
is reading here. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And whether you comment or not, whether you’re a long time
reader or have just stumbled across me for the first time, I wish you all a safe
and happy 2024!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/delurking-1-150x150.png"><span color="windowtext" style="mso-no-proof: yes; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"></span></a></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/delurking-1-150x150.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="150" data-original-width="150" height="150" src="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/delurking-1-150x150.png" width="150" /></a></div><br /><span style="mso-ignore: vglayout;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>Note: </i>This is an annual nod to <a href="http://www.stirrup-queens.com/"><i>Mel</i></a>, who used to run the Crème
de la Crème, where we would list our favourite post of the year. It always
provided inspiring reading. So even though it doesn’t happen officially now, I
hope that you too will list your favourite posts from your own blogs, on your
blogs, for us to enjoy again (or for the first time). </p>
<p> </p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-50799582853960262682024-01-01T09:00:00.001+13:002024-01-01T09:00:00.149+13:00My wish for 2024<p>Having survived a Christmas with a teen and a three-year-old
(and their parents), I was thinking about what actually hurts me now. It’s not really
the loss of those experiences, if I’m honest. The three-year-old gave me much
joy, as did the fifteen-year-old. They also made me glad that, right now, I do
not have those ages in my house. They’re great fun, but they’re both a lot of
work in completely different ways. And as I said last week, they’re not MY kids.
And what I missed was “MY” kids, whoever they might have been. I don’t allow myself
to miss them now because it is impossible to know what they would have been
like. The possibilities are endless, as would be the pain if I allowed myself
to imagine it, so I just don’t. It’s pointless. So I don’t.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyway, what I was starting to say (and got distracted), is
that what causes me pain now are barbs that paint me as other, as less, as
someone who “doesn’t understand,” as someone who is inferior because I haven’t
had that experience, or as someone to be pitied. Directed personally at me, or comments
made generally by people I don’t even know, the unintentional comments, the
slights, the deliberate or unconscious othering and ignoring of my/our
situations hurt. These are what set me apart, remind me that I did not have an
experience that so many people had, and imply I am not a full equal member of
society. Yet I’m not really allowed to talk about my experiences as a
comparison, though I do when I can. If only the “as a mother” comments could be
responded to by the “as a childless person” comments – both negative AND
positive. If I felt I could talk about the personal growth I’ve been forced to
undergo just as a parent is forced to “grow up” when they are responsible for a
little one, I think I would feel more seen, more included in general society.
If I could acknowledge both the loss and gains of being childless, just as a
parent has to acknowledge that they lose when they also gain so much when they
have children, my life might feel more “normal.” Of course, I’m sure many
parents feel they can’t talk about the hardships of being a parent. I’ve always
thought that was ridiculous, and it needs to change. We all need to empathise more with
each other, to see each other's perspectives, and to recognise all our collective griefs and joys. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That’s my wish for 2024, which will have begun in New
Zealand by the time I post this, and beyond.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Happy New Year, and I wish you all the very best for the
coming year!</p>
Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-32088286522751998512023-12-25T09:00:00.001+13:002023-12-25T09:00:00.138+13:00The night before ...<p>I had another post planned, but it is Christmas Eve, and I am exhausted, though thankfully almost all preparations have been made for tomorrow. Like women all over the world right now! By the time you read this, it will be the 25th, and then it will all be over and we can just relax.<br /></p><p>The three-year-old is very cute, a little overwhelmed by all the strangers he's had to meet in this house, very well behaved, and very sweet. All I can say is that I don't feel envy, simply because a) he's not my child, and b) at this stage in my life, I wouldn't have a three-year-old, and so can't relate. It might have been hard twenty years ago to watch him, but so far, it has been easy to simply be a loving observer.</p><p>We've set out the Christmas cake and glass of milk for the sleigh rider to eat when the presents are dropped. The stockings, which I bought thirty years ago thinking I might have children and we might have big family Christmases together. are under the tree. are spread out for my nieces and great-nephew, and for my husband, my sister, my brother-in-law, and myself. The first time I've ever used them. My sister pointed out that she, her husband, and her daughter use hers (which I gifted them 15 years ago when my niece was born) every year. But it's different to do that when you don't and have never had a child in the house. Continuing a tradition you started with a little one is easier than trying to start a tradition when it feels as if something is missing. So I'm feeling it a little, though not bad.<br /></p><p>Whether or not you celebrate Christmas, I hope that you are relaxed and happy and get some peace over the next day or two. Sending love to you all. And I'm going to make a cup of chamomile and eat a piece of Christmas baklava!<br /></p><p><br /></p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-58980320832817793542023-12-18T18:04:00.001+13:002023-12-18T18:04:36.328+13:00Childless Role Models and Ageing<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">Sue Fagalde Lick over at <i><a href="https://childlessbymarriageblog.com/2023/12/13/who-do-you-see-as-your-childless-role-models/">Childless By Marriage</a></i> has posted
about role models, and – in preparation for a <i><a href="https://gateway-women.com/gateway-elderwomen/">Childless Elderwomen</a></i> discussion –
asks whether her readers had role models, and if so who they were, and how they
were role models for the childless. I started to respond, realised I was
writing a post, and so here I am! </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The plethora of writing and blogging and podcasts and insta
accounts and Fbk groups and and webinars/zoom chats all came too late for me. I
went through the transition from trying to conceive to accepting being
childless largely on my own. I had a few friends who don’t have children – some
by choice, some not, some in real life, some internet friends – and that helped
me feel less alone. They were my supports, rather than role models. I knew of
well-known women who had chosen not to have children, but very few if any who
were open about not being able to have children. An elderly in-law aunt and
uncle were really the only people I knew who didn’t have children despite
wanting them. They travelled a lot and were interested in things going on in
the community, but were mocked by some of their sisters for other quirks. So I
never thought of them as role models, and we never talked about it with them. Twenty
or so years ago, no-one talked about it – in public, or even in private, with
me. Oh, except one woman who was temping at my work. I’d almost forgotten her.
She talked about how hard it had been, but how she was happy ten years later in
her 50s. I can’t even remember if I had told her about our situation, because
at the time I was a) still trying to conceive, and b) was very very private
about it.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I did find two books – one was Sweet Grapes, but I can’t
remember the other – but they were of little help. <i>Sweet Grapes</i> talked
about the idea that since they weren’t trying to have children any more, they
were no longer infertile. I remember trying to embrace the idea, but being unable
to. I did not feel that way yet. I still don’t really. So I had no role models.
No-one I could relate to who had tried to have children, didn’t, and was happy
anyway. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So in those years of coming to terms with not being able to
have children, I had no-one I could look to as a role model. By necessity, I
was figuring it all out myself, chatting occasionally to one or two who were in
a similar situation through our ectopic message board. I had to – by necessity –
establish my own identity, encompassing the childless part, but not allowing it
to dominate all of who I am. It was hard work, and required a lot of thought
and heartache, years before I even began blogging over thirteen years ago, and
long before Pamela and Jody and others started building the childless community.
Actually, I’m grateful I was able to do that, even though it was lonely, and
really hard. I didn’t want to be given a stereotype of how I should be – I had
resisted the stereotypes for girls and women for so many years after all. So it
was very important to me to figure out who I am, what I value in life and in
myself, what being childless was going to be like for me. As Sarahg said to me many
years ago, even knowing what needed to be done, I still had to do it myself. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That is why I have blogged, why I grit my teeth and accept
requests to speak out or write articles, etc, under my own name. I do it so
that others can see that they're not alone, and that they will be okay. And it
is why I am now talking more frequently about ageing. It's not to be a role
model - other than perhaps to help others feel okay about figuring out who they
are too. We’re all different. I love to travel, to write, to think and talk
about these issues. Others don’t. I have a friend in a similar situation who rarely
mentions it, never even told her family, but lives a busy, happy life, filled
with love and nieces and nephews and friends and young colleagues she inspires.
Her motto is “the purpose of life is to enjoy it.” I love that. There’s no one
way to get through this, other than to decide that we will. And if, in doing
that, we become role models for others, then that is wonderful. It can be on a
small scale, like my friend, or on a global scale, like Jody Day and Pamela Tsigdinos
and others who are ensuring that our community is heard.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The online childless community was only just coming into
being fifteen years or so, as blogging boomed and social media saw the development
of online communities and relationships. And so discussions of ageing without
children, or of having No Kidding role models, is relatively new. Because the
focus has often been on those going through the initial hard years of grief and
adjustment. Rightly. Thankfully, now, there are plenty of wonderful role models
out there now for those going through this very difficult transition – so many
of my blog readers are now role models themselves, as well as Pamela and Jody
and Sue and many more.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But for those of us who are ageing, there are few role
models. I certainly don’t have any who are years ahead of me, who can show me
the way. But you know, I’m okay with this. I want to figure it out myself, and
that’s what I’m doing. I’m talking about it here when I can, often writing to
find out what I think. I do it both because it helps me, and because I think
that women in their 60s and beyond who speak out now might help flag issues for
the rest of the community. We are losing parents, adjusting to the idea of ageing,
knowing what ageing is like at all stages of old age, and becoming aware of issues
many are only just beginning to think about. Some are themselves facing issues
that I might not yet have faced, or might be thinking about, and that younger readers
have put in the “I’ll think about it when I need to” or the “Not Necessary Yet”
box. Some will have answers. Others will not, or will just raise more
questions. That’s okay. What is important is that we are all having the discussion.</p>
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link, register her</a><a href="https://gateway-women.com/gateway-elderwomen/">e.</a>
I’ve just done it.</i></p>
<p> </p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-41219217633918105092023-12-11T18:13:00.000+13:002023-12-11T18:13:05.736+13:00Unexpected sense in a discussion about the childless<p>I'm sitting here thinking about what I might write this week, and there's suddenly a No Kidding topic on the radio. In real time. How fortuitous! Apparently, there are social media videos trending at the moment saying kid-free couples are luckier financially than those who are parents. (At this point, I stopped typing, and started listening!)<br /></p><p>They had an economist on who made two main points:</p><p>1) there is no evidence of this disparity, yet there are poor and rich people whether or not you have children. Double income no kids (DINKs) people are often both in low income jobs, and financial inequality in NZ is all about how much income is coming into the house, not whether they have children or not.<br /></p><p>2) welfare support programmes have, in recent decades, been focused on those who do have children (eg, we have a Working for Families tax credit, or there are programmes to reduce child poverty, etc), and therefore there is a compelling case that those without children also need extra support, as they have not had the benefits/financial buffers of these other programmes.<br /></p><p>The radio programme has a host, the guest economist, and two guest panellists. It surprised me how very careful everyone was. I was bracing myself for the stereotypes, especially when the host said, "But aren't we always told that having children is expensive?" But the conversation didn't go that way. It was pointed out that maybe those without children spend their money on different things, or might live in more expensive urban areas, so don't have any more savings or wealth than those with children. That they might even "fill the hole" left without children by buying fancy cars or eating out ("or travelling," I silently added to myself). <br /></p><p>One person commented how terribly insensitive these videos were to those
trying to have children, or those who were unable to have children, and another person mentioned that the smugness of some of these videos might be a backlash to the fact they feel judged by parents. That by bragging about their lives they were making up for the condescension from parents that having children makes someone "more spiritually whole." </p><p>This was the most balanced, carefully unemotional discussion of a parent vs childless issue that I have ever head. Clearly it was raised as a topic because it usually gets people involved in lively discussion, because everyone likes to defend their position. But the host and panellists and economist all exceeded my expectations. They did not descend into an <i>us vs them</i> debate, but all stood back, chose their words carefully, and considered the evidence. Just as I would want them to do. It was wonderful.</p><p>You can <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/thepanel/audio/2018919055/the-panel-with-nuwanthie-samarakone-and-simon-wilson-part-2">listen to it here</a>. It starts at 16.08 minutes into the discussion. <br /></p><p>I have one proviso about this discussion. But I'm going to save it for discussion some other time. In the meantime, maybe there is hope if there can be sensible, considerate discussions on our mainstream media? <br /></p><p><br /></p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-56113168075577082832023-12-05T13:29:00.004+13:002023-12-06T10:58:03.735+13:00Adjusting expectations<p> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">About a month ago, I invited my sister, her husband, and daughter
to spend Christmas with us. After only a day or two, they enthusiastically
accepted. I was excited. I’ve hosted Christmas dinners here fairly often to
take the responsibility off my elderly in-laws. Sometimes it has been a small
gathering – the smallest was my husband’s father and uncle three years ago (dare
I say it, the most depressing!) – and the largest was when a couple of my
husband’s brothers and their families returned home for the holidays. Not huge
gatherings, but big enough for my small kitchen and fridge! Lol Once my in-laws
were gone, I’ve spent the day with my one or both of my sisters and their
families – in the south, and the north for a change of scenery. Last year,
there were just the two of us here at home, and it was quite lovely, even
though I had faced it with some trepidation.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But this year I was ready for a few more people, and I was really
looking forward to it. My niece is now 15, and my sister and brother-in-law
share our interest in wine and good food. It was going to be a lovely adult celebration,
with the things we love. I was keen to use some things I have stored away to
make the house seem more festive. I was going to dig out the beautiful
tablecloths and candlesticks and serving crystal bowls I’ve inherited. I also thought
it might be fun to use some spare Christmas stockings I still have. (I gave a
number away once I knew I wouldn’t have children, and wrote about it here.)
Especially as, cleaning out a drawer, I found some things that could be slipped
into a stocking, along with some baking or chocolate or something fun, just to
make it an occasion. After all, I’ve never been able to do this for children,
and my husband and I don’t really “do” gifts, because we don’t want clutter of
unnecessary gifts. But also I guess because The Husband gets stressed out. I’d
already started meal planning, and activity planning, and cleaning out the
freezer so I can freeze meals or pizza doughs etc to make hosting easy. For
once, I was actively looking forward to Christmas.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then I got a phone call. Someone close to us had asked to
join us for Christmas, and my sister had accepted on my behalf. She texted me
saying she hoped it was okay, following up before I even had time to respond to
the text with a face-to-face call. (Note: Things I have always hated include: surprise
phone calls, face-to-face calls when I am unprepared, and having to deal with
surprise news in front of others. Argh.) So, I had no time to process any of it.
And in honesty, I was so soooooo disappointed. Even though I knew I could never
have declined the request, and understood the reasons for it.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So I was going through the logistics of it all, processing
my thoughts out loud in front of her. Of course, all the negatives came up first – how to squeeze everyone in to our house, nothing to amuse a three-year-old, all the food/sleeping in/adult activity
plans going out the window, our house and garden (is a deck a garden?) unsafe
for a little one, etc. The degree of cleaning/sorting/decluttering I will have
to do to squeeze them in.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My sister is a different personality to me. She loves being
surrounded by people. The more the merrier. For her it’s probably a bonus. But
not for me. I tried to explain it to her, but I don’t think she gets it. Yes, I
have reclaimed the season and do it my way. Yes, I love my tree, and certain
parts of the day – the croissant breakfasts, champagne, the desserts, the beautiful
table! Yes, I like hosting a group at Christmas lunch. But yes, I still breathe
a sigh of relief after everyone has gone home and we get the evening to
ourselves, or at the very least on the next day when all the pressure (external
and internal) is somehow lifted. I had looked forward to showing them <Mali’s>
Christmas <Mali’s> way, and anticipated a fun, relaxed day. Now, it will by
necessity be different.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My emotions are confused. I feel selfish for feeling disappointed,
when the circumstances around the request are so much worse. I feel annoyed
that I didn’t get a chance to process the change in circumstances in my own
time. I assume (although this could be all in my imagination - <a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2017/03/three-steps-to-banish-negative-thoughts.html">those inner critical voices we all battle</a>) that my sister will judge me and think that a)
that I am selfish, and inflexible, and b) I am <fill in the blanks with any
other pronatalist stereotype> because I don’t have kids. I feel empathy and
compassion for the person making the request. And for the child who will be
coming to strangers. As I said, I would never have declined the request. But
time to breathe would have been nice.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Of course, almost immediately I started coming to terms with
the change, and adjusting plans. Since then, I keep seeing the perils of my
house for a young child, and what I will need to make it safe, and how
impossible that will be in a house with four separate staircases, no lawn, and
a rickety dangerous outdoor staircase that is on our to-do list to fix later
this summer. I am thinking about activities – the playground down the road, the
zoo that will be open, the beaches that might be safe, the walks we could do
that aren’t too onerous. What we can put in the little one’s Christmas stocking
(that is not too onerous for the person to take home). Whether I will need to
rent a car seat, pushchair/stroller, other things to make the visit easier for
our two new visitors. Not the thoughts of a selfish person, I would think, but
no-one sees that. We’ll make it fun, and it will be a nice time together, and
won’t last forever, and we will ease the troubles of someone we love for a few
days. And I’ll be okay. We will have to do a fun, more adult, celebration some
other year.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But as a childless person who has been through the painful
process of learning to embrace the joys of an adult Christmas, and for years has
successfully done this, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m now going to
be reminded, closely and intently, of what I will have missed. Maybe that’s
what has been hard to adjust to, just as I enter this awkward anniversary
season of two pregnancy losses (the first anniversary begins today/tomorrow), and
the end of my fertility journey. I don’t know.</p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" Name="Table Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<p class="MsoNormal">Now, some days later from that first explosion of words and
feelings above, I think I’ll be fine. I don’t want a three-year-old now, after
all. And my expectations for the time have adjusted. I've had to do that before. I will have to do it again. I can do it now. After all, it is a privilege that we were chosen as the most desirable option for
these two over the holiday period. It will be a privilege to share these days
with them, and to brighten their time (we hope). I’m fine with it now. I have a
couple of weeks to prepare the house. And I just have to think about what dishes
I have in my repertoire that might be okay for a three-year-old; almost
everything I cook is spicy. Maybe we’ll just barbecue every day and eat
leftover ham sandwiches – it is summer after all!</p>
Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-27021226599431739382023-11-27T17:33:00.002+13:002023-11-27T17:33:47.047+13:00Grief and gratitude<p> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">I often comment that I am inspired by other blogger’s
writings. Sometimes I’ll say, “I’m off to think about that more now,” and I
make a note of it in a file. I might think about it and respond within a week
or two. But it’s not unusual to take a bit longer. Or even five years longer! </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Mel’s <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2018/09/you-are-not-your-grief/">post
about grief here</a> popped up for me today. It’s a great post, and I’m linking
it here because I know not everyone reads her blog, especially if you are triggered
by mention of children.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There were two ideas from her post that I loved, and want to
discuss. The first was the idea that “you are not your grief.” It is part of
us, but it is not us. I really like that. It’s the same with having no children.
Sure, that created grief for many of us. But we are so much more than our
ability or not to have children. We are so much more than people who grieved
that loss. And we are all so much more than childless or childfree or any
combination of that. I like that reminder. We’re whole people. Everything we go
through is just part of us. It might take time for us to get to that
understanding, as initially it feels like it is everything. But we come to
realise – some of us sooner than others – that we are so so much more than one
thing (however huge) that we’ve been through. It doesn’t define us. We are
more.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Secondly, Mel made this comment, </p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><blockquote> “… it helped me to
realize grief for what it is;<b><i> something that is doing its hardest to help
during a time period that only hurts.</i></b>” </blockquote><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That sentence blew my mind. Grief, as discussed in her post,
is a way to get through something we are experiencing. It was an amazing idea
that grief might actually help us. But when I think about it, it actually does.
It helped protect myself, in terms of exposure to others or other situations
that might be upsetting, but also in terms of allowing me to actually experience
the feelings of grief, and to deal with them. It let me feel the grief itself,
and mourn what I had lost. That was honouring my loss, my husband’s loss, and
my losses themselves. It was an important ritual to go through, because I could
then begin to recover without feeling guilty about not being sad enough. I’d
been sad enough, but it became time not to be. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In dealing with those feelings of grief, I was able to work through
each of them in terms of understanding what were rational and what were
irrational or based on assumptions or stereotypes. That helped create resilience.
I was able to learn what I actually thought about my situation. The grief I felt
taught me more about myself, and that was really valuable. It definitely helped
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">Of course, I wouldn’t or maybe couldn’t have appreciated
this at the time. But so many years later, I can see the truth
of it. And even be grateful for it. Thanks, Mel.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p><br />Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-49158169951940413562023-11-20T18:34:00.001+13:002023-11-20T18:34:33.635+13:00Bittersweet Silver Linings<p>A lovely chat this morning with some friends reminded me that all our lives have positives and negatives. It's been three years since my father-in-law died, three years where my husband and I have been able to (within reason, and Covid restrictions initially) do whatever we want, without the duty and obligations of looking after the elderly in our family. I have to admit, this morning I was struck anew by the lifting of that obligation. That I do indeed feel lighter and calmer and freer. Of course I am. We were glad to be there for the in-laws, but equally appreciate the opportunities life now offers.</p><p>One of my friends had also been looking forward to the freedom of having no children living at home, opportunities to perhaps travel, or just to see what she can now do with her life. But elder care issues are coming into her life now too, perhaps posing some restrictions or at the very least, a degree of concern and worry about what's next. Her window between caring for children and caring for parents didn't last long, she said. I feel for her. That's really tough. I hope things get better for her.<br /></p><p>And of course, we hear about the middle-aged squeeze too - when people are still caring for children and yet have to care for elderly parents too. </p><p>So yes, I am lucky that this isn't my reality. </p><p>But equally, as others talked about their parents too, the conversation once again got me thinking about our old age. We might not have made too many decisions yet. But we do need to make them, and before it is too late. We have time. But there's one thing I can do now. Swedish Death Cleaning - you're (almost) next on my list of things to do!<br /></p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-82791282677693345192023-11-13T16:59:00.003+13:002023-11-14T12:56:03.767+13:00The rusty sword of spring<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">Thirteen years ago, I wrote my first ever post on No Kidding
in NZ. It was about November, and titled “<i><a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2010/11/double-edged-sword-of-spring.html">Double-edged Sword of Spring.</a></i>” It’s
worth repeating here:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"></p><blockquote><p class="MsoNormal">“In New Zealand, November means spring. Officially,
September or October are spring, but they are unreliable months, when winter still
has us in its grip, teasing and taunting us with the occasional fine day, with
the bloom of flowers, with pink blossoms and buds turning into delicate, pale
green leaves on the willow trees that edge the Hutt River. September and
October still have the power to force us back into our winter coats, to wear
scarves and gloves. This year was particularly cruel, as we watched a late
snowstorm in the south of the country arrive in September, bringing the sheep
farming industry to its knees, its icy ferocity killing thousands of newborn
lambs. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But by November hope has returned. Even though there might
still be a chilly bite in the wind, the sun warms, and we begin to believe that
warm temperatures will return, that long holidays, barbecues, trips to the
beach, swimming, and the end of a rough year are almost within reach. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">November sees hope for the future for most New Zealanders. November
celebrates new life. But for me, November signals a different time. It signals
a season of memories. Memories of loss, of disappointment, of the loss of
innocence, of fear for the future, and of coming to terms with my own
mortality. And each year, although sharp pain has faded, although acceptance
and enjoyment in life has returned, each year we remember the pain.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In my house in New Zealand, even seven years later, November
is a double-edged sword.”</p></blockquote><p class="MsoNormal"></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s not now seven years later, however. Now, it is 20 years
later. And November is no longer a double-edged sword. The sword edges are dulled, and it is rusting
away. I don’t get the same dread thinking about the season of memories of loss,
of hospitalisations, of pain. In fact, I only remembered that it was November <i>in
that way</i> by happening on my first ever post in my word document of drafts
and posts. Time heals. It really does. Time eases memories, and takes the sting
out of them.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">(That’s not to say that there is never any sting. I felt
tears prick my eyes after reading something else, earlier, about “the one who
was missing” and the simple, “ah, mate” comment I got from a blogger. It was
unexpected indeed.)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But these days, when I think of November, I'm not thinking about pain. (Well, apart from cursing the spring winds that plague me!) In fact, now I’m thinking about scheduling in dentist and doctor
appointments, dinners with friends, spring cleaning, and Christmas shopping. Sure,
I will think about what was lost as anniversaries come up. But with
remembrance, and love, and even gratitude. And right now, I’m thinking about happy events (well,
mostly), warmer weather, activity, and hoping for some accomplishments. I’m
enjoying and anticipating life. That’s the joy I probably didn’t expect when I
wrote that first post.</p>
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Loribeth also has a <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/I%20hate%20November">series
of November posts</a>.</i></span><p> </p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-42784261765886838252023-11-06T14:50:00.040+13:002023-11-06T14:50:00.138+13:00Confessions of a Forty-Something: Some No Kidding Thoughts<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve just finished reading <i>Confessions of a
Forty-Something F**k Up</i> by Alexandra Potter. I think I put it on my to-read
list after Loribeth wrote a review on it earlier in the year. I deliberately
haven’t read her review (here) until after I wrote this. Thanks again for the
recommendation, Loribeth!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It was an easy and entertaining read, one I could relate to,
but I had some conflicting thoughts about it. Brief scenario is that a
forty-something woman finds herself back in the UK after splitting up from her fiancé,
broke and homeless. Hilarity ensues. It is funny. But it is also sad at times, and as a childless
readers, there are a lot of moments when I thought, “I could have written this” or "this sounds like me."
And even a “I wonder if she read my blog?!” </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There was much to like. Here are my favourite points:</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li class="MsoNormal">Other people’s lives are never what they seem –
whether in real life, or on social media. We all have hidden pain and loss and
struggle.</li><li class="MsoNormal">Guilt and shame and feelings of unworthiness are
extremely common. We all just hide it well.</li><li class="MsoNormal">A new, older, friend shows that life is to be
lived, regardless of what happens to you.</li><li class="MsoNormal">You will come through the other side of pain and loss. <br /></li><li class="MsoNormal">Her FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) can become her JOMO
(Joy of Missing Out). It’s the main message of <i>No Kidding in NZ</i>, and I might
adopt JOMO (when it is appropriate).</li><li class="MsoNormal">There is no one way to live life.</li><li class="MsoNormal">There is no specific way to measure success.</li><li class="MsoNormal">There is no plan.</li><li class="MsoNormal">Humour can help us cope.</li><li class="MsoNormal">But so too does being honest about our lives.</li><li class="MsoNormal">Being honest can lift a burden – not just for
us, but for friends who feel they can share and be honest then too. </li><li class="MsoNormal">Friends disappear, but they come back.</li><li class="MsoNormal">There is no miracle baby.</li><li class="MsoNormal">She calls out all the ridiculous messages women
are inundated with from social media and the media (magazines/celebrity culture,
etc)</li><li class="MsoNormal">And points out how many of these are contradictory.</li><li class="MsoNormal">That all these points are relevant to those of
us without kids, or just to women/people in general.</li></ul><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal">However, there were things that annoyed me. None of them are
particularly surprising to those of us without children, as we are used to seeing
stereotypes represented in the media, both fiction and non-fiction.
It’s that tendency to try to play things down, not to rock the boat, maintain
the status quo. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Here is what I didn’t like (attempting to keep spoilers at a
minimum):</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li class="MsoNormal">The single childless woman was the butt of all the jokes. </li><li class="MsoNormal">Childless friends and aunts seem to have to love
their friends’ kids. It's compulsory. And of course, some of us do. But not everyone does. And I
dislike the way it is presented, in that it’s almost a requirement of being
childless, some way of “proving” that we’re “real women.” (See <a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2023/10/children-and-childless.html">my
recent post</a>).</li><li class="MsoNormal">The childless friend is hurt, but doesn’t
complain. (Talk about not wanting to rock the boat!) I had this issue with
another similar book, Emma Gannon’s <i>Olive. </i>It’s almost as if the authors
don’t want to antagonise mothers (who might also read and buy the book), so
they don’t actually call out the mother characters for their obtuse behaviour
towards someone they would claim to love. Yet as I wrote recently here, fair is
fair. Our feelings matter too. Of
course, I understand that this is fiction, and one character can't
necessarily represent all our feelings about being childless. In fact,
maybe I'm projecting here. Maybe I wanted the character to say
everything to her friends that I couldn't say to mine. Hmmmm. </li><li class="MsoNormal">We all know that friendships change, and often to
the detriment of the childless friend. To see that portrayed was fine. But the
rekindling of the friendships were done so easily and without hurt that it
seemed unrealistic to me. Will the childless ever feel totally safe in those friendships
again? That’s never an issue that seems to be raised. Maybe that's a different book. Or says more about me than the author.<br /></li><li class="MsoNormal">The idea that there has to be some form of a prescription ending that is happily
ever after. Unfortunately, life isn't like that, and the book almost betrays its purpose, and the majority of its message, by going there, by defining what society thinks should be a "happily ever after" storyline. And surely, happily ever after is different to everyone. <br /></li></ul><p></p><p>Fortunately, I think the majority of the narrative portrays the feelings of single and or childless women in a reasonably accurate way. It certainly voices our insecurities, our reactions to media and social media stereotypes, and calls out smug celebrities. And of course, just like with <i>Olive</i>, it was very pleasing to see a childless main character and story arc. Still, I hope that future books don't automatically portray a single and/or childless woman as a basket case (or f**k up). I hope that future books aren't so rare that they are comment or review worthy. May this become so common that one day it's just a book, and people both with and without kids can read it on its literary merits. I know, I'm a dreamer. But I can hope.<br /></p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-51239867982920118812023-10-30T16:55:00.001+13:002023-11-04T11:32:36.726+13:00Social Interactions when Childless<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal">I write about No Kidding issues every week, and have been
doing this for years. Does that mean I am over-sensitised to the issue, as some
might claim? Maybe. But it also means that I am very aware of being a minority
in this pronatalist world. Others might shrug. But I notice. Comments, attitudes, the choice of a simple word, or descriptor, that I wouldn't use, or that isolates me and my community. And often, in that instant, I am torn. Do I make a point? Just ignore comments? Or try and educate? I don't have a strict policy. It always
depends on the person, the circumstances, and how I’m feeling. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A social event this weekend was in many ways remarkable in
that there were so many topics to talk about, and so many people with interest
in the wider world, that the issue of kids hardly came up. The party was hosted
by a friend. She and her partner don’t have children either, and nor do several
of her friends I’ve previously met. Anyway, we were all of an age where any
children would have left home, so it wasn’t part of the lively conversations
that we had. (Well, except for her niece and nephew, but I’ve met their kids,
so could talk about them easily and comfortably.) So there I was, happily
chatting away with new people, people we’d heard about from our friends for years, and some
people I hadn’t seen for 30 years. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I got chatting to someone I haven’t known socially, but
worked with for a very short time way back in the late 80s. I mentioned a very
happy time in my life, when I had a variety of work (boards, consulting) and
also volunteered. She asked about the volunteering. Oh, I said, it was for an
overseas medical charity, thinking that the “medical” information might have
been enough of a hint. She asked for more details. “Okay,” I thought, “you
asked for it!” I explained that I’d volunteered for six years for an ectopic
pregnancy charity, the only one in the world that we knew of, that provided
online support and advice. She nodded, and noted that she had had an ectopic
pregnancy too. You never know, you know? We chatted about it, and about the
health system. I then realised that I’ve heard her name (and her husband’s, who
I also knew from way back then) a lot from our mutual friend, but never with any
discussion of children. I didn’t ask her, and she didn’t ask me. It was refreshing.
A little bonding experience, that neither of us felt the need to take any
further at the time. (Though now I need to check with my friend to see if they
did in fact have children.)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I then got chatting to another woman. We had worked together
at our first job post-university, but needed to be introduced to recognise each
other (her hair was now short, and mine was now long and grey)! I’d also heard
her news from our mutual friend over the decades, and vice versa. We were joking about Swedish
Death Cleaning, and she made a comment about the kids being gone, and so we are all ready to leave our
big family homes and downsize. I don’t know if I winced, but I must have
reacted. I think I stammered a bit. Not because it hurt, but more because I don’t
like people to assume that everyone has a “big family home” and so was trying
to think how to respond without making a big deal of it. (Even though I still live in what might have been our "big family home.") So of course, she
asked if we had children. “No,” was the only answer I needed to give. And then we
just continued with our conversation. It’s so nice when people pick up on cues,
and don’t pry!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When I was first going through the pain of lost pregnancies
and new childlessness, I didn’t want to have to talk about my circumstances to
anyone except those closest to me. I didn’t want to risk getting upset, or
angry. I don't have that concern now. Then I worried about being seen as other, as being judged. These days, I'm more likely to judge them if they judge me, so that's less of an issue too! And sometimes I wonder if I should be educating everyone, with proselytising
zeal. And then when I don’t, I feel guilty. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But you know, these days, I have a choice. I’m not concerned
about upsetting anyone by talking about my reality. They talk about theirs, I
talk about mine. Fair is fair. And my reality is being childless in a pronatal world. I’ve
commented a few times recently on social media posts, for example, gently
reminding some mothers that you don’t have to be a mother to care for X or Y. Equally,
I feel I do enough here, and elsewhere, that I don’t have to educate every
person I meet. I no longer feel guilty if I don't take the opportunity to educate people, even if I am in fact more likely now to take those opportunities. </p><p class="MsoNormal">So each time, I assess the circumstances of the conversation – who I am with, where we are, how well I know them. In this case, I was surrounded by
people happily celebrating a mutual friend’s birthday. It was not a time to talk
about the realities or stereotypes or assumptions about those of us without children. And I'm very comfortable with that. It's a sense of freedom that I’ve given myself. I
hope you feel that way too.</p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-58316769617132796232023-10-29T18:03:00.003+13:002023-10-29T18:03:43.288+13:00Holiday Companion Giveaway<p>I posted ten days ago about the giveaway of Life Without Baby's Holiday Companion ebook. Lisa and Kathleen's intention was to give themselves—and their childless-not-by-choice readers—inspiration and encouragement to get through the tender holiday
season. </p>
<p>For its 10th Anniversary, they’re celebrating the healing this book has provided by giving away FREE EBOOKS to anyone who wants one. From today
through Tuesday, October 31 (US time zone), you can download yours, if you <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Life-Without-Baby-Holiday-Companion-ebook/dp/B00GR31WM4">follow this link here.</a></p><p> </p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhleB4BoVeMxMhrTmkPe8g6L5CtNSfQ-RaPwLrWsKMfJjIyNKmfvZWQJVP1rmWL6Oa4mHqzfnqgmBGriMmVxEXY6KLYh66TBeykDT6X_QHMU93zIDmgscd63JnGWPRuUEDeN4JnqosETi9uvphbXu5vcqhKNSIXGVKv63FDitWlVPRVP5HIcwsyUAIyQys/s940/HC%20giveaway%201-FB.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="788" data-original-width="940" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhleB4BoVeMxMhrTmkPe8g6L5CtNSfQ-RaPwLrWsKMfJjIyNKmfvZWQJVP1rmWL6Oa4mHqzfnqgmBGriMmVxEXY6KLYh66TBeykDT6X_QHMU93zIDmgscd63JnGWPRuUEDeN4JnqosETi9uvphbXu5vcqhKNSIXGVKv63FDitWlVPRVP5HIcwsyUAIyQys/s320/HC%20giveaway%201-FB.png" width="320" /></a></div><br />Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-10601971495058113182023-10-24T18:04:00.009+13:002023-10-24T18:04:52.351+13:00Language and assumptions<p>I'm a<a href="https://maliatoz.blogspot.com/2008/02/l-languages.html"> fan of words</a>. I love the nuances of language, and languages. Language tells us so much about cultures and individuals and history and colonialism and oppression and dominance and, thankfully, change. And language too is so much part of pronatalism, and oppresses and disadvantages those of us who are not parents. How "as a mother" is supposed to convey a degree of sanctity and superiority. How childLESS focuses on the LESS part of our lives, and not on the full part of our lives that we live when we find we can't have children. Etc. <br /></p><p>So as a fan of words, I am a fan of those who make words accessible. I bought a great book years ago called <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Tingo-Other-Extraordinary-Around/dp/1594200866">The Meaning of Tingo</a>, </i>which shares words in different cultures and languages that have no equivalent translations. And I am a fan of Susie Dent, an English <span>exicographer and etymologist. She has a Word of the Day on social media, and I love these. She introduced me to a favourite word - "scurryfunge" - which means the frenetic cleaning you do in anticipation of a visitor arriving. I'm an expert scurryfunger! In fact, scurryfunging is how my house remains clean. There aren't too many other motivations to do so!<br /></span></p><p><span>Anyway, one of her words of the day was "ultracrepidarian." It's a 19th century word that means one who loves to give their opinion on matters they know nothing about. It's perfect for the world today. But equally, it is perfect to describe those people who think they know what it is like to be a person living a No Kidding life. Especially parents. </span></p><p><span>So now you know. If someone starts assuming that your life is free, with no responsibilities, no regrets, no "what-ifs" you can stop them in their tracks, and say, "oh, you're an ultracrepidarian!" If they start telling you that you're sad, or that you don't know love, that your life is gloom and doom, or that your life is unfulfilled just because you don't have children, you can respond with, "oh, you're another ultracrepidarian!" </span></p><p><span>Then explain what it means. And see if they get it! </span></p><p><span><i>Disclaimers: </i></span></p><p><span>1) I have not tried this, but I'd love to have the opportunity. </span></p><p><span>2) I thought it was time to have a fun post! <br /></span></p><p><span><br /></span></p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-60223804511655185512023-10-19T10:50:00.000+13:002023-10-19T10:50:04.048+13:00A giveaway! <p></p><div class="xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: start;">In the (northern) autumn/fall of 2013, <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="x1i10hfl xjbqb8w x6umtig x1b1mbwd xaqea5y xav7gou x9f619 x1ypdohk xt0psk2 xe8uvvx xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x16tdsg8 x1hl2dhg xggy1nq x1a2a7pz xt0b8zv x1qq9wsj xo1l8bm" href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/616437325163561/user/647215870/?__cft__[0]=AZWGJb33YYuRltqCNUw2fIhmO2RhvNBIZSdXCfFHagtWCJzRMNWRkQ9D-bdRE4qhOQtv1Zz02fNp9BGV1NolNDHFbe6gtQdlm8KFyUDMC1nEgJvN21x3EhxZvnYDFaxSyzexK86YEJPHRfREJKanT2-2viSziFYZoYok70oF9nP020srTBFf27E5GSvZevMlCz8&__tn__=-]K-R" role="link" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: transparent; border-color: initial; border-style: initial; border-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: var(--accent); cursor: pointer; display: inline; font-family: inherit; font-weight: 400; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-align: inherit; text-decoration: none; touch-action: manipulation;" tabindex="0"><span class="xt0psk2" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Lisa Manterfield</span></span></a></span> and Kathleen Guthrie Woods (the inspiring duo who blogged at Lisa's Life Without Baby) pulled together their most helpful holiday-related blog posts from their blog and compiled them in one book, HOLIDAY COMPANION. Their intention was to give themselves—and their CNBC readers—inspiration and encouragement to get through the tender holiday season.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: start;">This month, they're celebrating the good healing this book has provided by giving away FREE EBOOKS to anyone who wants one. They asked me (and others) to share this with our followers. Feel free to share with your own.</div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: start;">The giveaway will run from Friday, October 27, through Tuesday, October 31. They'll be posting announcements on Facebook and Instagram on both those days. And I'll see if I can share their posts here. Mark it in your diaries, and pop back here to find how to get the books.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: start;"> </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: start;">Here's to making the holidays a little merrier this year.</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: start;"> </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: start;">
</div></div>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-57701895646493690602023-10-17T14:30:00.000+13:002023-10-17T14:30:30.528+13:00Being kind to others and yourself<p></p><p>Being kind to others as well as yourself is something I've seen the No Kidding community struggle with for years and years. (<i>I've listed previous posts on this issue at the bottom of this post, just before an admin note.</i>) There's the feeling we can't reply to people the way we want to or stand up for ourselves in case we're considered to be rude. The idea that saying "no" to a question and not explaining ourselves might be rude. The idea that others can trample all over us and we would be rude to point that out, or that by putting a different point of view we are confrontational. The idea that by protecting ourselves we might not be a good friend. I've been quite disturbed by this at times. So I was really pleased to see a meme posted on social media the other day that pointed out all the things you can do and say and still be a kind person.</p><p>I've tried to find a credit for it, but can't. So I'm going to write my own No Kidding version. </p><p>You can be a kind person and still:</p><ul><li>Refuse to answer invasive questions</li><li>Set boundaries, protect your heart, and say "no"</li><li>Refuse to be ignored or sidelined simply because you don't have children</li><li>Point out incorrect stereotypes or assumptions</li><li>Be honest about your life</li><li>Forgive yourself and, in time, others</li><li>Defend yourself and your tribe</li><li>Realise that putting yourself and your needs last helps no-one</li></ul><p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2PDc5j5QdAVQe7VZel4hsQPZ34EQ-2ZBqSmZxJOWxzcm9KzeODFF_T49ORnUS2q8jTRWter2CQWC94d-istFns1YCqBy0LA6kdcehLNeztR_5Vrj861kYrTZ13X6wITr7TZ8Vrzob5fsa-ZXOvkWRvVUYVp9RqwYRLlfF5XlHAjoQX4cSL7st4hxmPUw/s1526/kind%20person.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1146" data-original-width="1526" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2PDc5j5QdAVQe7VZel4hsQPZ34EQ-2ZBqSmZxJOWxzcm9KzeODFF_T49ORnUS2q8jTRWter2CQWC94d-istFns1YCqBy0LA6kdcehLNeztR_5Vrj861kYrTZ13X6wITr7TZ8Vrzob5fsa-ZXOvkWRvVUYVp9RqwYRLlfF5XlHAjoQX4cSL7st4hxmPUw/s320/kind%20person.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>A few relevant previous posts include:</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2017/06/my-existence-is-not-offensive.html">My existence is not offensive</a></li><li><a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2010/12/all-those-questions.html">All those questions</a> </li><li><a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2018/06/saying-no.html">Saying "no</a></li></ul><p></p><p>Lastly, some admin: I've been having trouble commenting on any blogger
sites - including my own - for some reason. Sometimes I can't comment
even though I'm logged into blogger myself. Sometimes I can't comment
even with my name and URL. It comes and goes, and is frustrating. I'm
still reading though. Apologies if I've been silent on your blogs, or
if - like me - you are having difficulties commenting here. <br /></p><a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2018/06/saying-no.html">"</a><p> <br /></p>Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com2