Two things: 1) a promise, and 2) a bouquet

I promise that I will get around to - soon - reporting back on the series on infertility run by one of our leading TV stations, that I flagged here, but I haven't watched them all yet - life taking precedence, I'm afraid. I did see the very last in the series, and was pleased that they included the voices of people who had responded to the programme.

After last week, I also wanted to give a shout out - a virtual bouquet - to the No Kidding community's supporters who are parents. Whether you came to parenthood through infertility or fertility or circumstance, it really means a lot to us that you read, that you participate in conversations, and that don't treat us like pariahs, or ask us to be silent. I especially appreciate those people who have maintained an openness to other outcomes, other ways of life, and don't judge us for that. Your voices, and your support of our voices, gives us courage in speaking our truth both here in the blogging community, but also with parents in real life. For example, I know that if I have received support or comments here - whether you agree or disagree with me - it makes me more prepared, and more confident, to express my point of view, my experiences, in real life. And I thank you for that.

Being proud

I have some longer posts brewing, but in order to get a Microblog Monday post out, I was looking for an easy and hopefully happy topic, as there is much negativity in my head at the moment (hence my limited blogging), and I don’t want that to spill out here.

I was thinking of my No Kidding readers and fellow bloggers, who invariably I’ve watched go through deep disappointment and disbelief, and experience real grief, and I watch them express these emotions honestly, rawly, each in their own, brilliant style. We are all there to support them, and any new people who come through.

Then, slowly, the grief subsides, though it comes and goes, tormenting, at times, mocking. But gradually too the hope and joy return, contentment sets in, and they gain wisdom, acknowledging their journey, writing things like, “I could not have written this two years ago.” These journeys warm my heart, as I’ve been there and know how hard it is, but I am always confident they would emerge out the other side, still (or once again) largely okay. They warm my heart for another reason too, because I know that the progression is there to give others hope, to show the way to those people who will, sadly, always be following in our steps.

I am so proud of you all.

Monday Miscellaneous: What I'm doing

1. Hoping that everyone in the UK found the Day that Shall Not be Named passed peacefully, and that you're ready to get back to normal without all the hype.
2. Ending my nine days away (read about a section of it on A Separate Life here), and grateful for the time away, but slightly annoyed that it wasn't at a time (and therefore place) of my choosing.
3. Realising this is my life now (see above).
4. Happy that my country is really beautiful, has great food, and is easy to travel around, and that I can do so out of high season/school holidays.
5. Ready to work on a particular project, and really move it along.
6. Frustrated that I am struggling to find a way to earn money in these last years before retirement.
7. Determined to try to let things go more, so thinking about getting back into meditation and yoga.
8. Committing to find exercise that will carry me through the winter that will inevitably arrive ... just not yet, please.

Real life

We found someone to look after the kids so we're going away for a few days. Scratch that. We found someone to stay with the elderly in-laws for a few days, so we're going away for a few days. Our life at the moment isn't so free and easy, but those who think that the No Kidding live free and easy lives are short-sighted. Just as those No Kidding folks who think that having children is all about playing happy families are blinded to the realities of life.

So we've hit the road, and we're going to explore a part of New Zealand we don't know very well. Unfortunately, the weather is supposed to crack up in a day or two, but we didn't get to choose when to go away. So we have books and music and wine, and if we have to hunker down at the beach bach we've booked, then we're ready for that.