tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post2093486274730770227..comments2024-03-29T09:31:53.769+13:00Comments on No Kidding in NZ: Infertility's Waiting RoomMalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-75931558457023167262017-04-16T10:42:32.930+12:002017-04-16T10:42:32.930+12:00This is just what I needed to read today, so grate...This is just what I needed to read today, so grateful Cristy sent me here to this list. Gorgeous. I love the healing screen, and the lightening as you go through the door. I'm am thankful that you illuminate this door and water the potted plants and show that there is so much hope (and champagne) behind it. Thank you.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-6469844594364712772017-03-31T07:02:52.262+13:002017-03-31T07:02:52.262+13:00Coming to this via a tweet - stunning writing, Mal...Coming to this via a tweet - stunning writing, Mali.Different Shoreshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01552043510975777003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-12664917587237260392015-06-23T21:23:15.079+12:002015-06-23T21:23:15.079+12:00This is such a wonderful post – portraying so well...This is such a wonderful post – portraying so well the difficulties of infertility, the eternal waiting and the avoidance of the last door. I went through the third door 18 months ago – I had to be pushed, kicking and screaming, tears flowing. I’ve had a backward glance on the door ever since – it’s still not fully closed behind me. I’m in the corridor trying other doors and coming back to the corridor – I am experiencing the light behind some of the other doors but I find it difficult not to look back at the waiting room and think it is still better in there with hope, however minute. I am still waiting – waiting for someone else to close the door of the waiting room. It is only just open – I thank my husband for taking me through the 3rd door – I never wanted it to be my decision to leave the waiting room – I waited for clinics to send me to the 3rd door, I am still waiting for it close behind me because I will soon be too old to return. Now I think I hope for the courage to walk up to the door and shut it firmly on my own – because I want to and I finally see the light around this door and realise the darkness is only still will me because it is slightly ajar – I so badly wanted to walk through the 1st door and part of me is still waiting to – even from outside the 3rd door in the corridor I am looking longingly at the 1st door, still praying. After being in the waiting room for 17 years, I find I am still waiting……. I at least know that when the door on the waiting room finally closes there is definitely joy and peace that awaits me.<br />Thank you Mali for this post - Jane P (followed link from LWB)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-41192240396732167752015-01-13T18:13:20.071+13:002015-01-13T18:13:20.071+13:00Happiness does not come in just one form. So if we...Happiness does not come in just one form. So if we thought we would find happiness with children, it doesn't mean that our chance of happiness is gone if we're not going to have children. Acceptance of our situation is the first step to finding and pursuing our happiness. But it takes time too.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-83964092160086673592015-01-13T12:04:40.856+13:002015-01-13T12:04:40.856+13:00Does one need to walk through this door and just a...Does one need to walk through this door and just accept what it is or do they need to change their lives take some chances to find their happiness?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-49320558318207169082015-01-02T16:07:09.863+13:002015-01-02T16:07:09.863+13:00I commented when you first posted this, and I'...I commented when you first posted this, and I'm back now with Creme. Your vision of the room and the doors -- it's profound, and it resonates for so many. Such a great Creme contribution!Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-34919103561597706312014-04-30T22:57:33.738+12:002014-04-30T22:57:33.738+12:00Didn't mean returning to try again, meant retu...Didn't mean returning to try again, meant return to the grief and depression etc. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-20533667513511951532014-04-18T05:13:44.912+12:002014-04-18T05:13:44.912+12:00Great post, expresses so well what it feels like.Great post, expresses so well what it feels like.katrynkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11627642784681329959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-78784245483882449712014-03-24T10:14:06.622+13:002014-03-24T10:14:06.622+13:00I first read this post not long after you first pu...I first read this post not long after you first published it... I've had to come back a few times to absorb it all and think about some more. I love the analogy, Mali, and I look forward to helping you brighten up the ambiance around door #3 and trying to make it a little less scary for those brave souls who are venturing through after us. loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-74848068044477430442014-03-23T04:43:10.870+13:002014-03-23T04:43:10.870+13:00well done sista ! and congrats for your beautifull...well done sista ! and congrats for your beautifull and true blogpost from two german bloggers ......also passed door no 3 and still survived :-) ..... even more......being very happy again after years of waiting......<br />xoxo<br />IsaBelle und Isahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08870625449429136179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-84699864775673500452014-03-21T03:20:12.403+13:002014-03-21T03:20:12.403+13:00Great post. Very well stated analogy. I think wa...Great post. Very well stated analogy. I think waiting is the hardest part--it's the perpetual in limbo state that is so emotionally draining. For me, I am still in the waiting room, but creeping closer to the third door. Sometimes I feel like I catch glimpses of it or hear the voices on the other side. It does seem dark and scary, but it is in reading blogs like yours that lets me know there is life, light and joy in that space, too. It makes the waiting room a little more bearable because I'm not rushing for an outcome just yet. It helps me to be more patient in the moment and to let go of trying to control it. But, I am not as scared or sad if the moment comes if the third door is my fate. Of course, if it does happen, I know there will be a lot to process. But, at least there is hope waiting on the other side of it, if that makes sense.Jamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06275071143469111072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-35589891605586921992014-03-18T02:02:40.996+13:002014-03-18T02:02:40.996+13:00Thank you. Just beautiful. I just let the tears ro...Thank you. Just beautiful. I just let the tears roll. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-12658346935330818462014-03-17T15:35:53.673+13:002014-03-17T15:35:53.673+13:00Beautiful post. Thank you from someone who walked ...Beautiful post. Thank you from someone who walked through that door xoxoAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10069476011831712293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-41460789255244961152014-03-17T14:44:49.176+13:002014-03-17T14:44:49.176+13:00Love the tiny sign that says Freedom.
A small p...Love the tiny sign that says Freedom. <br /><br />A small point though - for many of us, we can never return to the waiting room.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-28279342459348816362014-03-17T14:43:08.657+13:002014-03-17T14:43:08.657+13:00Thanks to everyone who appreciated this post. I d...Thanks to everyone who appreciated this post. I didn't expect this reaction, but I'm touched that it resonated with you.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-7614614845648146232014-03-16T12:21:15.738+13:002014-03-16T12:21:15.738+13:00This was such an incredible piece. Thank you for ...This was such an incredible piece. Thank you for this. I was in that waiting room for 7 years! And it was just as you described it. If someone told me when I was 30 that was ahead of me, I would not have believed them. I chose the door to adoption and you were so right about that - way more complicated than I ever imagined, yet it was worth it for us to have our incredible child to love and to hold. Yet I am forever changed by the experience of infertility. And it's a bittersweet change. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-69960024961394400552014-03-16T05:24:40.659+13:002014-03-16T05:24:40.659+13:00Had to reblog this, sooo spot on. I wish I had the...Had to reblog this, sooo spot on. I wish I had the gift of eloquent words, I find others are alway so much better than me at expressing how I am feeling. http://infertilegirlinafertileworld.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/reblog-infertilitys-waiting-room-from-no-kidding-in-nz/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-88420156118004546232014-03-15T08:16:43.252+13:002014-03-15T08:16:43.252+13:00This made my entire day. This made my entire day. hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02110735002081254539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-6740079651162056312014-03-15T07:03:42.264+13:002014-03-15T07:03:42.264+13:00Love this also :)Love this also :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07515147278396822239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-32563418231529711362014-03-14T22:27:52.933+13:002014-03-14T22:27:52.933+13:00I've shared this link with some other ladies i...I've shared this link with some other ladies in a forum and here are some of their comments:<br /><br />- It's beautiful.<br /><br />- Teary-eyed after reading it. A beautifully articulated piece.<br /><br />- OK, I'm crying now.<br /><br />- Yes, definitely moist-eyed. It's a really wonderful conceit. A big part of me wants to post the link to my facebook page, but I'm just not brave enough. Not brave enough to announce to everyone what we're going through. Which is sad, because I think it would be helpful for other people to understand what infertility is like. <br /><br />- Lovely, made me a bit teary too. Here's to getting out of that bloody waiting room! x<br /><br />- Ok, I'm crying too. I just needed this. Just this week, I decided it was time I took a step towards that dusty little door. Anyway, I've got my hand on the door handle, I just can't stay in the waiting room any longer, I don't want too, I'm crying again, it hurts, but if I stay waiting here any longer I'll go mad.Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-14121995126078965072014-03-14T21:32:06.136+13:002014-03-14T21:32:06.136+13:00It's a great piece.
I've left the waiting...It's a great piece. <br />I've left the waiting room and I've gone through that scary door (could somebody gloss over the chipped beige paint and water the droopy brown spider plants around it please?). I'm now stumbling about in a long dark corridor, looking for another door (there's blimmin' thousands of them) with the right view and ambience behind it to tempt me in. I'm a bit sick of playing Alice to be honest but I'll keep going. What I have discovered is this - in this wing, from this corridor, there are no forevers. You can open a door, walk in and spend some time in that particular room but if it's not what you were looking for you can walk back into the corridor and try another one. You can try as many doors as you like, until you find the room that suits you just fine. <br /><br />I walked back to the waiting room (yes, you can go there any time you want but not recommended) and I studied that beige door and only then did I realise that on the frame above it is a tiny little sign that you can almost miss if you aren't looking through your tears. It says freedom. Tiny, dusty little letters but most definitely there. <br />The things is, even if that door from the waiting room was painted in neon pink and had the equivalent of Glastonbury & Woodstock combined going on behind it, we wouldn't choose it anyway. If the word freedom were painted in 6ft high letters on this door we wouldn't believe it or trust it. <br />Because we know that there are no biological children past that door and no amount of glitter can polish that turd. The sign and door are deliberately understated because you have to figure out for yourself that there is another way. You can only leave the corridor when you're ready to know this. <br /><br />Open doors ladies, slam them shut if you don't like what's on the other side (the WI flower arranging consortium? Piss off!). Find your room and make it your own. I think I'm looking for the 'start a business and never work for a big corporate company full-time ever again' door but.... who knows, I might not like it. <br />Freedom. It's our booby prize. Not bad eh? <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-52099823950888592122014-03-14T12:45:35.920+13:002014-03-14T12:45:35.920+13:00Such a beautiful post. I used to get this sad feel...Such a beautiful post. I used to get this sad feeling when I thought of people without kids - because I had been raised to believe that your life isn't worthy anything unless you have children. It took me a long time to realize that, although a great part of life, it's not the ONLY way to live. I'm no where near where I'd like to be with that realization for my own life, but I'm making peace with the possibilities. I really wish someone had told me that my worth as a human being wasn't tied until how many children I had, then it may have been easier to get through all of this. I love this post!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-3112111969046850842014-03-14T12:08:56.813+13:002014-03-14T12:08:56.813+13:00That's a really interesting point, Annette - t...That's a really interesting point, Annette - that the fear of the door is particularly accentuated when we're on the fertility treadmill. I think loss comes into it too - I know a number of women who weren't trying, got pregnant, lost the baby, and suddenly became frantic to have one. By the loss, perhaps, they were thrust into the waiting room, and absorbed the fear there. I'm thinking more on that.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-72839126539051267212014-03-14T09:51:02.733+13:002014-03-14T09:51:02.733+13:00This is lovely. Thank you.This is lovely. Thank you.Illanarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05203774916178621215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-86379267687353239522014-03-14T06:48:33.081+13:002014-03-14T06:48:33.081+13:00I love this post... I am still in the waiting room...I love this post... I am still in the waiting room, but it's wonderful to know the dark room isn't as scary as I imagine. I also had a good cry, feels like a release I needed today. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07515147278396822239noreply@blogger.com