tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post4890057892425409594..comments2024-03-28T06:32:27.436+13:00Comments on No Kidding in NZ: A message to those who are hurting (themselves)Malihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-62552229326925177062015-05-19T07:25:44.650+12:002015-05-19T07:25:44.650+12:00AMEN. Such such a good post! It an be hard to chan...AMEN. Such such a good post! It an be hard to change our mindset, but I think it's important to work toward being much, much kinder to ourselves every day. nicolehttp://nicoleciomek.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-76177316943229871792015-04-13T12:37:54.639+12:002015-04-13T12:37:54.639+12:00Iris, I think for the first time you've articu...Iris, I think for the first time you've articulated for me why I don't like pity, yet I want empathy and an attempt at understanding. Thank you!Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-2085527901319374922015-04-11T17:42:34.633+12:002015-04-11T17:42:34.633+12:00This is why I loathe pity. Because when people'...This is why I loathe pity. Because when people's reaction to my not having children is one of pity, it is as though they are telling me, I can't be happy. IrisDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18427439207160392203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-12996634782349340222015-04-11T03:35:15.664+12:002015-04-11T03:35:15.664+12:00Thank you for this. Oddly enough, even though I a...Thank you for this. Oddly enough, even though I am parenting through adoption, I've had similar thoughts, about not being woman enough, not deserving enough. I've hated my body for so long, for not being attractive enough (had it been I would have gotten pregnant), strong enough (I would have been able to carry my son around on my back), young enough (I could have more time)....some days it's hard to believe we are all Buddhas and worthy of compassion and kindness.Deathstarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10012800256411878445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-2708444763275393352015-04-10T17:57:47.956+12:002015-04-10T17:57:47.956+12:00I think you're making the rather unreasonable ...I think you're making the rather unreasonable assumption that none of us have ever had self esteem issues either. Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-22757297313730431292015-04-10T17:55:54.773+12:002015-04-10T17:55:54.773+12:00I know that might be true in the infertility commu...I know that might be true in the infertility community - they're scared of us and can't believe we might be truly happy. But I've never come across it in real life. (Or at least, not to my face). How frustrating to feel we have to prove we can be happy!Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-74790203101366173332015-04-10T13:34:52.885+12:002015-04-10T13:34:52.885+12:00Great post. I am coming to terms with loving my bo...Great post. I am coming to terms with loving my body, which was really hard to do especially at the tail end of our fertility treatment journey. How could I love something that was so mean to me, denying me the experiences I craved most? I did all kinds of mean self-talk about my body, despite the fact that it has kept me alive for nearly 40 years. I'm kind of training myself the opposite, and thoughts like yours about talking to anyone else the way you talk to yourself has been eye-opening. Thank you for this post, I think it will be incredibly helpful to so many! It's a good reminder for me. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-79413195935155815782015-04-10T00:55:09.042+12:002015-04-10T00:55:09.042+12:00The issue that comes up for me is that all my life...The issue that comes up for me is that all my life I've dealt with self esteem issues. Infertility or any significant life changing event will bring up the deepest darkest things in our past. So while what you are saying is true that you wouldn't say this to someone else it's hard not to think these things when you questioned yourself even w/out infertility.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-9770528480478331382015-04-09T13:14:50.428+12:002015-04-09T13:14:50.428+12:00Cristy, that's truly awful. I'm not surpri... Cristy, that's truly awful. I'm not surprised it affects you to this day. You're right though - it is NOT okay, and I'm glad you found relief in learning that and believing it.<br /><br />Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-24590759844168009722015-04-09T11:53:01.069+12:002015-04-09T11:53:01.069+12:00I struggle with this too, I think it is human natu...I struggle with this too, I think it is human nature. I love this post and I try and remember that my body can still do amazing things, they might not be the things I wanted it to do.....but it is healed and stronger now than before. <br />I had just seen a social experiment where researchers asked women to write down thoughts they had about themselves in a journal, every thought....in the end the researchers took the journals and invited the women to a coffee shop. The women didn't know that the researchers gave the journals to actresses to act out at a table next to them. When the women overheard how these ladies were talking to each other they were appalled...why talk to yourself in such a hurtful way when you wouldn't to someone else.<br />Great reminder to love yourself....or at least be gentlerThe Barrenesshttp://www.the-barreness.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-31491524081670857532015-04-09T11:37:29.907+12:002015-04-09T11:37:29.907+12:00I've unfortunately had someone I loved stand o...I've unfortunately had someone I loved stand over me saying all the awful things you mentioned here. It backed up my feelings of unworthiness and less than. It wasn't until I learned this wasn't okay that I find relief. Still, it was horrible and still affects me to this day.<br /><br />You're absolutely right about beating yourself up, particularly over things out of our control. Infertility is a terrible enough thing.Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-38470632577208662432015-04-09T01:31:17.368+12:002015-04-09T01:31:17.368+12:00Great post, but I have to add a thought. After yea...Great post, but I have to add a thought. After years of struggling with the guilt, I was finally able to come to terms. But now its like others can't accept that. They tell me I can't truly be happy. That my life has no meaning. The list goes on and on. I just tell them they are wrong and try to brush it off. But sometimes, it gets under my skin and makes me start to question myself again. That's why I'm trying to prove to them that a person can be happy, even if they are childless. Savannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17584445611402346917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-57491238398568750292015-04-09T00:34:22.703+12:002015-04-09T00:34:22.703+12:00That's an excellent idea as it reminds you tha...That's an excellent idea as it reminds you that you are so much more than just your fertility.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-27553816678113739512015-04-08T23:42:44.586+12:002015-04-08T23:42:44.586+12:00I'll be honest, I slip into this line of think...I'll be honest, I slip into this line of thinking every so often (though this probably isn't uncommon). My strategy is to redirect myself when I get like this. Basically I set out to prove to myself that I am good at something. Like improve my mile time. Or cook something I've never cooked before. Basically anything that I can do that I know I have a good chance of being successful at. BentNotBrokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10151724076659555122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-54130767989572810052015-04-08T15:59:30.248+12:002015-04-08T15:59:30.248+12:00Great post. So very true!
Thank you for it.Great post. So very true!<br />Thank you for it.Klarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17028863974858724867noreply@blogger.com