tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post8091465482951634540..comments2024-03-28T06:32:27.436+13:00Comments on No Kidding in NZ: Sharing about sharingMalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-4636791115796123102013-04-08T02:17:33.269+12:002013-04-08T02:17:33.269+12:00LOVE this post. I find myself nodding and nodding ...LOVE this post. I find myself nodding and nodding and nodding some more!!! :-D <br /><br />I was reminded of my teenage years the other week. In my pre-teen, I was really introverted and I didn't open up to my friends, but after that I started to change and I enjoyed finding my voice and I sort of gone through one end to the other extreme. I overshared with my closest friends, some of whom weren't really ready to receive as much private info. Some were, but some weren't. And that was an important lesson for me in balance. I think that some people may just not be ready to listen - they may not be ready to listen at that particular time (they may get ready later in life) OR they may not ever get ready at all. So I also think it's important to choose to whom you're sharing your stories - whether they're happy or sad stories. And I also believe that timing makes a huge difference, as well, in sharing our stories. Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-68926895259582949352013-04-06T04:02:41.602+13:002013-04-06T04:02:41.602+13:00share with "people with whom we have... relat...share with "people with whom we have... relationships that can bear the weight of our story."<br /><br />I love this line because it strikes a cord with me. Often times I've debated on whether or not to share our story with others. Although we have told some of our closest family and friends opening up has been a struggle for me. <br /><br />There are some days in which the last thing I want to do is to talk about my infertility. On the other hand there are other days in which all I want to do is to shout it from the rooftops. <br /><br />For me it has been about slowly finding a balance and learning that maybe not everybody is ready or interested in hearing about our struggles. Not everybody is going to lend a shoulder to cry on or offer insightful advice and that's OK. Because just like that, support can appear from the most unexpected sources. And suddenly, people who we didn't knew could share the weight of our story are right there... helping us to carry this, sometimes heavy load. <br />Isabel https://www.blogger.com/profile/03356409164278204900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-10001404483691268612013-04-04T08:36:34.724+13:002013-04-04T08:36:34.724+13:00Oh, I absolutely agree. I think that's the po...Oh, I absolutely agree. I think that's the point - that we can't share our stories, vulnerability or shame with everyone and expect them to be able to bear the weight. I also found that I have friends who play specific roles in my life (and I in theirs) and just because they can't bear all my issues, doesn't mean that I shouldn't share with them in the areas we have in common, or where I know they will be interested or empathic. It's also made me think about how I react to other people's stories, how I can be more empathic, or even tell them why I might be struggling to deal with their stories.Malihttp://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-49160846234127048232013-04-04T04:30:38.140+13:002013-04-04T04:30:38.140+13:00One thing though that popped to mind is that it...One thing though that popped to mind is that it's not always the fault of the listener if they couldn't handle the weight of a story. I mean, literally, in carrying weight, if you ask me to flip the mattress, I'll tell you that I can't handle it. Josh can. Which is simply a fact: some items are so heavy that only certain type of people can carry them well. And it seems unfair, then, to blame someone for being too small or for not having enough stamina to handle something emotionally (by which we mean fulfill our expectations -- they may not even know they're handling it poorly in some cases) in the same way that it wouldn't be right to tell someone that it's all their fault that they can't flip the mattress on their own. We understand people being physically weak; we're not as forgiving for people being emotionally weak.<br /><br />That said, some people just suck at hearing and processing difficult news :-)<br /><br />I try to have an open mind and think, just because they supported me in this difficult time doesn't mean they will be fabulous with all difficult news. And vice versa -- there are people who sucked in talking with me about infertility but have been fabulous in talking about me with a death. If I wrote them off based on how they dealt with infertility, I would have missed that support.Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-20588565154493810502013-04-03T19:42:18.815+13:002013-04-03T19:42:18.815+13:00Beautifully written!
I love the sentence: "We...Beautifully written!<br />I love the sentence: "We share our stories with people who have earned the right to hear them." <br /><br />With years I learned with whom I can share. So yes, life with infertility does get easier as years are passing by...<br /><br />Klarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17028863974858724867noreply@blogger.com