tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post8372732360766415106..comments2024-03-29T09:31:53.769+13:00Comments on No Kidding in NZ: Tarred with the same brushMalihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-3735513671156616092014-01-25T16:03:03.851+13:002014-01-25T16:03:03.851+13:00Great post! "Tarred by the same brush" i...Great post! "Tarred by the same brush" indeed. I find most people don't distinguish between "childfree by choice" and "childless (not by choice)... they just assume that, these days, if you don't have kids, it's because you don't want them (because there's always that IVF, or why don't you just adopt??). :p <br /><br />There are certainly differences in how we came to be living without children, but I find that we all have a lot in common, too (society's view of us, for starters). loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-78761525501431508362014-01-20T07:11:56.054+13:002014-01-20T07:11:56.054+13:00Excellent point!Excellent point!Indigo Buntinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11387698096732697805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-55465806368425361252014-01-18T01:04:31.685+13:002014-01-18T01:04:31.685+13:00Must admit I haven't read the article - what I...Must admit I haven't read the article - what I read was just your post, Mali ha ha...I actually was never sure about whether or not I would be a good mother. I was worried I'd be too lax and that my hubby would be too lax in raising children. However, that didn't matter much when my maternal instinct kicked in and I was hell bent on giving my best for the child(ren) that would come our way. Now that we're on this road, I find that it probably helped me to let go of the dream (at least logically) - that feeling of doubt as to whether or not I'd be a good mother. That said, though, I grieve the fact that I'm not even given a chance to try give my best in that area. Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-38336676291594288652014-01-17T15:30:10.352+13:002014-01-17T15:30:10.352+13:00Amen to that! It's akin to saying someone woul...Amen to that! It's akin to saying someone would have been a crappy mother so it's lucky she couldn't get pregnant. I wish we could stop judging and making assumptions as a species.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10069476011831712293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-37324274593874686172014-01-17T11:51:05.887+13:002014-01-17T11:51:05.887+13:00Glad you "get it."Glad you "get it."Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-21479089598364196882014-01-17T09:34:09.467+13:002014-01-17T09:34:09.467+13:00You hit the nail on the head with that. The artic...You hit the nail on the head with that. The article assumes if you are not a parent (or choose not to be a parent) you would not have been a good one. That implies the opposite - people who make that choice are good parents. Of course there are those who never give it a thought, but that's another issue. Frankly, my mother made the choice (as much as a woman from the 60s could), but i honestly think she should not have had kids. She was much better as a teacher or with other people's children than with her own. <br /><br />I think plenty of people who don't have kids, and at least even some who choose not to, would make fine parents. I greatly respect people who recognize they are not "maternal" or that they don't want to give the child the attention he/she would need and make the choice. But simply having children doesn't make a good parent, nor does not having children mean that person would be a poor one.<br /><br />The article isn't bad, but it leaves a lot unsaid and does tend to be condescending at point.Kathrynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03272307621143522274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-57754207973273386012014-01-17T07:23:40.448+13:002014-01-17T07:23:40.448+13:00dear Mali, dear Savannah: I agree.
I don't ha...dear Mali, dear Savannah: I agree.<br /><br />I don't have kids. I will never have kids. But if I had them, I am 100% sure I would be a great mum. <br />It is just that other destiny was written in my stars. And I am learning to like it. <br /><br />lots of love from sLOVEnia,Klarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17028863974858724867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5725106142359702200.post-55012834255304567822014-01-17T05:43:44.499+13:002014-01-17T05:43:44.499+13:00I agree. I had some friends post that article on m...I agree. I had some friends post that article on my Facebook, but I think they only read the title. We tried to conceive. When that didn't work, we tried to adopt. We did our best but knew it was time to quit. I hate the world assuming I didn't want kids, cause I did. It just never worked out for me.Savannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17584445611402346917noreply@blogger.com