An Infertility Survivor's Thoughts on Life Without Kids
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09 May, 2016
#Microblog Mondays: Miscellaneous
Mother's Day actually passed quite easily, probably because I didn't leave the house, and avoided Fb. Though in a way, not having to celebrate Mother's Day (other than the night before having dinner with my mother-in-law, where a visiting prodigal son was the focus, rather than the mother) has meant that I think I feel a freedom from it, and I felt surprised to realise that maybe the day doesn't really have any power over me any more.
I was talking with my FIL, about a project he had been working on, and said I would help him finish it and get it printed in a book so we can give it to all his offspring and their families, when of course he qualified that he was indeed doing this for the grandchildren. I'm not sure why he felt the need to say it to me, of all people, so I acknowledged it, then commented, "it's funny how the childless ones are the only ones who bother to ensure the memories are there to pass on to the next generation, isn't it?" I'm tired of pretending that the fact I have no children is irrelevant, and that there's no cost to dealing with his focus on his grandchildren all the time, and to be honest, it felt good!
An aside from a visiting BIL, when he saw the Mother's Day card I had made for my MIL, was that clearly I had "too much time on my hands" being able to do these creative, but thoughtful, things for my in-laws. The snide dig was there, undeniably - I'm childless, therefore I have nothing better to do with my time - and it found its mark, briefly, though ultimately, I just roll my eyes loudly at this Busy Olympics Parent vs Non-Parent petty competition.
Best news of all, my cast is finally off, though walking will be tentative for a while!
Awesome news about the cast! How are you feeling without it?
So now the burning question was, what was your FIL's response? Did it dawn on him that his comment was hurtful?
And your BIL is being a jerk. Jealousy does that to people. Such a sad thing to compare, though. You're grieving the loss of your mother and he has to be an ass after you did something nice for your MIL (presumably his mother). Anyone point that out to him?
Congratulations on not only getting the cast off but getting through Sunday. It's a hard day any year, but I was thinking of you this one in particular with your mum's passing.
My Sunday was less fraught than usual, but it was extra busy with a family lunch and then hosting interstate visitors overnight, which may have helped to delay the inevitable. It did catch up with me on Monday afternoon when I had my little meltdown.
OMG what to say - like father, like son!
Great news to hear that the cast has been removed.
Yay for the cast being removed!! Boo, hiss to the snarky comments from the in-laws. :p Especially this year, when you're grieving the loss of your own mother. Not classy. :p
I'm so glad that you made it through Mother's Day with the losses you've had, recent and otherwise. What the hell, BIL? Appreciate the (or be jealous of, more likely) creativity of the card and keep your snide comments to yourself. Hip, hip, hooray to no cast anymore!
Ugh. I hate the "You have so much time" without kids things. It's such BS. I just tell people things like "well, I have more time, but I don't have ...." and then list several things that they will find understandably saddening to be missing out on. Sorry you had to put up with that. It's very annoying.
That's good news about the cast.
ReplyDeleteI think some years Mother's Day is easier or harder. I was surprised at how easy it was this year.
Awesome news about the cast! How are you feeling without it?
ReplyDeleteSo now the burning question was, what was your FIL's response? Did it dawn on him that his comment was hurtful?
And your BIL is being a jerk. Jealousy does that to people. Such a sad thing to compare, though. You're grieving the loss of your mother and he has to be an ass after you did something nice for your MIL (presumably his mother). Anyone point that out to him?
Congratulations on not only getting the cast off but getting through Sunday. It's a hard day any year, but I was thinking of you this one in particular with your mum's passing.
ReplyDeleteYoy on getting the cast off. Yay on being able to spen time with MIL (even if it did come with a side of, "shade") to BIL...hmpf.
ReplyDeleteTake gentle care.
Yay! Glad to hear your cast is off. Sorry to hear about the bumps on your Sunday, especially with the passing of your mother in the last year.
ReplyDeleteMy Sunday was less fraught than usual, but it was extra busy with a family lunch and then hosting interstate visitors overnight, which may have helped to delay the inevitable.
ReplyDeleteIt did catch up with me on Monday afternoon when I had my little meltdown.
OMG what to say - like father, like son!
Great news to hear that the cast has been removed.
Yay for the cast being removed!! Boo, hiss to the snarky comments from the in-laws. :p Especially this year, when you're grieving the loss of your own mother. Not classy. :p
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that you made it through Mother's Day with the losses you've had, recent and otherwise. What the hell, BIL? Appreciate the (or be jealous of, more likely) creativity of the card and keep your snide comments to yourself. Hip, hip, hooray to no cast anymore!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel, about your mum passing, not the cast. Hope you're doing okay.
ReplyDeleteUgh. I hate the "You have so much time" without kids things. It's such BS. I just tell people things like "well, I have more time, but I don't have ...." and then list several things that they will find understandably saddening to be missing out on. Sorry you had to put up with that. It's very annoying.
ReplyDeleteGlad Mother's Day passed with ease for you. <3