I listened – rather belatedly – to the Gateway Women Fireside Chat today, and it sparked a number of thoughts around the description of us as “radical,” which I’m going need to work through before I blog about it. (Watch this space). Initially though, I was pleased to hear the repeated intention to make things easier for those coming after us, to get conversations going, and to represent ourselves. That’s certainly the main reasons I still blog every week, and I know it also motivates my readers who also still blog. I don’t know how many new readers I have here, but I do know that every so often, someone emails me and asks a question or lets me know that I still reach new people. If all I’ve learned can someday help someone get through this, and look to their future with optimism not fear, then it is worth it. Blogging weekly gets harder as the number of commenters get fewer, of course. But for now, I’m still going!
I’ve noticed in some things I’ve been reading lately the use
of the word natalism rather than pronatalism, with essentially the same
meaning. I haven’t done a detailed search on this, or thought about the
reasons yet, but initially I felt both more comfortable with the simplicity and acceptance
of natalism, meaning that having children is the norm, and also offended, as if
it removed all bias, which was supported by the “pro” in pronatalism, and is
very evident in our societies. Hmmmm.
One of the reasons I love the Thursday Murder Club books, I’ve just realised, is that there is a group of friends who share many commonalities, and none of them are their children. Even though their children are part of their lives, they can talk about other things, those who don’t have children are not ostracised or condescended to, and whilst the children are acknowledged, they really only play peripheral parts in the book. Such a refreshing take on being elderly!
Finally, I’ve just learned that an essay I submitted will be included in an “anthology of essays by New Zealand writers that will give voice to a common experience that still feels taboo: not being a mother. Or at least, not in the traditional sense.” It should be published in early 2024, and I’ll give more details then. I’m pleased our voices will be represented.
Now I need to know more about natalism vs pronatalism, too. I'm so excited to hear about your inclusion in an anthology -- congrats, Mali! I'll be eager to read that.
ReplyDeleteOoh, congrats! That's so exciting, I hope you share the volume for pre-ordering! I saw "natalism" somewhere recently too, and I don't like it. You put it into words perfectly. I'm glad there are books where there are people who can connect in things other than children alone!
ReplyDeleteSo excited about that anthology! Congratulations! And thank you for still writing about us. Just a few days ago a neighbor sent me vitamin recommendations "that may help you get lucky in the kid department" (her words). I chose to take it as a compliment that I look youthful enough to have kids (am turning 49 this year!) but still it stung. So thankful to find you and the rest of the tribe in the internet <3
ReplyDelete"I chose to take it as a compliment that I look youthful enough to have kids" – excellent idea! I will copy that one since I still get suggestions, too (I am 44). Greetings from Switzerland!
DeleteDear Mali,
ReplyDeleteYes, getting fewer comments doesn't help with motivation, does it? I know from my own experience. I don't always take the time to read all the blogs in English, especially the longer texts... but I will try to stop by more often because I am grateful for your presence in the blogosphere, too <3. It seems like you know when I need a kind and understanding comment. So thank you for all you have written and done in all these years!
Congratulations on the publication of your essay! Please do let us know once the anthology can be purchased :-).
Much love,
Elaine