A new blogger, Beef Princess at Simply Not Conceivable, has joined our community. I love the by-line to her blog:
because not everyone can have children, but they can still have a life.
This week she got me thinking, and I wanted to respond. And if, in doing so, I direct some readers to her blog, all the better.
She raised the question of adoption. I’ve not addressed this issue yet here, though I plan to at some stage. I loved her comment that Most people won’t have to try so hard to have kids. They will never have to answer that question. I think that’s what makes me so angry about this question, this assumption from the fertiles that we can “just” adopt. It is so easy for them to blithely say, “we would have adopted if we couldn’t have children.” But such comments are meaningless unless they have been through infertility, perhaps spent all their disposable income on fertility treatments, exhausted themselves emotionally (as Beef Princess points out) through years of disappointment and grief, put their relationship under huge pressure, and perhaps dealt with pregnancy losses or still-births.” Try saying “just adopt” and mean it after all that. We know it isn’t that easy. And I wish others did too.