19 June, 2017

Those dreaded Days

As mentioned last month, I was in Iceland for Mother’s Day, and never saw any advertising or any mention of it (I think that I’d have figured out what it was, despite the language barrier), which was a refreshing change. Besides, I had rather more to worry about that day, because there was a close and rather violent encounter between some Icelandic rocks and sand and my face. (I’m fine now, though I did have some technicolour cuts and bruises and black eyes for about a week.)

There was, of course, the usual onslaught on social media, as there is today for Father’s Day, where the curse of social media is that people seem to place importance on being seen to recognise their parents or partners. I will admit that I was a bit fed up that my normal feeds this morning were clogged up with northern hemisphere people cheerfully wishing their fathers or husbands a good day, and even resented* those people who tagged on wishes for “those who find today hard,” and wondered why, if they acknowledge that today is hard for some people, do they post about it at all?

I guess I’m just thankful that my husband isn’t very active on Fb, so won’t even know that it is F-Day elsewhere in the world. Besides, as we don’t celebrate Father’s Day here (or in Australia either, I think) until the beginning of September, we’ll both have to go through it all again in a few months.

The world is both too small on days like this, but – as I’m still suffering a bit from jet-lag – not small enough!

* Though after a nice coffee and muffin at the local cafe, I was feeling much better!


  1. Father's Day was particularly hard for me this year. The TV commercials did a great job at tugging at my heartstrings, social media posts were over the top to the extent that I had to log out, and I was caught in the middle of a messaging thread with my mom and sisters which included planning the details of their celebrations and attempting to guilt me into participating. I have a blog brewing on this topic....

    Anyway, I'm glad the day is over and I'm sorry that you only get a temporary reprieve from it.

  2. I get what you said about people using social media to ensure everyone sees them recognizing their parents. I personally am a card person. I love getting them for days such as Mother's Day ang giving them. I find it fascinating that these days of recognition are c lebrated at different times in other countries.

  3. I'm with Diane... I adore cards, and keep all the ones I know have been chosen with care. I spend a lot of time choosing cards for others. Yes, our Father's Day in Australia is in September. It's funny how they're on different days in different countries.

  4. Most of the time I don't want to write anything on social media about Mother's or Father's Day, but I end up doing so because everybody else is and social pressure is a thing. This year I managed to find something silly and funny to post both times so if wasn't gushy or sentimental.

  5. Oh no to your face's encounter with the sand and rocks! That sounds like there's a story there... I am glad it wasn't more serious than black eyes and bruises (although that sounds pretty serious) and you're on the mend.

    Oh, social media. I didn't write anything for mother's day this year because I just didn't have it in me, having both just officially ended our adoption journey and spending the day frantically writing my National Boards submissions. But Father's Day I did put something up about my dads (father, stepfather, both in-laws since we're both children of divorce and remarriage). I do notice that it becomes less about honoring your own parent and more about honoring your wife or husband, and there's usually babies/children galore in the pictures and it makes me sad. But there's definitely social pressure to post (it's sort of like how now you feel like a total a-hole if you don't post something meaningful on Veteran's Day or Memorial Day, which it's important to recognize for sure but the PRESSURE). Honestly the month or so where I was pretty sparse on facebook was lovely, but I lack the conviction or willpower to go off completely (plus I love connecting with people who I don't see in 'real life'). I hope those days are okay for you when they happen in NZ. Bryce went off FB too, so Father's Day bothered me more on FB than it did him. Outwardly, at least.

    1. I think women tend to be more active in this sense, as we tend to feel social obligations and pressures more, so maybe we see more of it through our friends too?

      I've adopted a policy of never/extremely rarely commenting about public holidays/public events etc. It all seems a little manufactured (or would be, if I posted), rather than a genuine and spontaneous thought or post.