I found this list of suggestions in a draft email I wrote a
long time ago to someone who was in a lot of pain, and now I can’t honestly
remember if I sent this to them or if I decided they weren’t ready to hear it.
I suspect though, that we all need these reminders from time to time:
- Every
time you recognise a negative thought, first, consciously recognise that you're
thinking it. Don’t let yourself reject any evidence or arguments that might
contradict these negative thoughts.
- Next, challenge the thought, by saying one or all of the following:
- Finally, simply say, "I can't think that way, I am a good person, I deserve better." Because I know you deserve better, even if right now, you don't.
"well, I know that's
rubbish"
"Mali or <insert favourite blogger here> says that is rubbish"
(and don't let yourself think "but I know better" because you don't)
"the world doesn't work that way"
"biology doesn't work that way."
"Mali or <insert favourite blogger here> says that is rubbish"
(and don't let yourself think "but I know better" because you don't)
"the world doesn't work that way"
"biology doesn't work that way."
Or challenge it in a more detailed
way:
"that can't be true because there are people who murder/torture/neglect their
children,
and they are no more worthy than me."
and they are no more worthy than me."
Thank you for writing it down! I will visualise this post when the negative thoughts come to my head out of nowhere.
ReplyDeleteAwesome reminder, Mali! I definitely need to keep this in mind.
ReplyDeleteThis is good, something really nice to live by. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'll definitely try this next time I start spiralling in the late hours. I know it's a valuable thing to do but often lack the will. It's always worth reminding people to make the effort to do this, so it becomes a habit.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this. Especially that last line. What a kind, well written post. I will refer back to this often😀
ReplyDeleteI love that idea of telling myself (reminding myself) that I deserve better. I need to give myself better and not count on anyone else to do it.
ReplyDeleteYes. This.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Love this reminder. I also love that it involves acknowledging the thought and admitting that this happens and you are not terrible because of it. I feel like tamping down the negative without first recognizing it leads to its own problems. This is such sound advice! Especially the "you deserve better" part. I think sometimes we are meaner to ourselves than we ever would be to someone else.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the beautiful reminder, to speak kinder words in self talk.
ReplyDeleteGreat advice!! I must try to do this...!
ReplyDeleteYes! This was the topic of my yoga class this week as well. Great to hear it reinforced! Namaste
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Helpful.
ReplyDelete