Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Last Sunday

It was a beautiful autumn Sunday. The air was still, crisp, and clear, and through the open window I could hear tui and other birds chattering in the pohutukawa trees outside.  The sounds of a Sunday afternoon were distant and comforting, a power tool involved in garden maintenance, car doors slamming as people come and go, gentle traffic sounds in the distance.  Less comforting was the soundtrack from the major public hospital about a mile down the road - occasional sirens, and the deep throbbing of the Rescue Helicopter as it flew in to land.  

But I was one of the lucky ones.  I lay inside feeling safe and relaxed, peaceful after a stressful and sometimes scary week.  A part of my body that had never done anything for me was gone.  I knew I should be relieved.  And I was.  But it was still a little too soon.  Too many memories had been brought back with this surgery.  And there was an unexpected loneliness too.  Out there, out the window, beyond the grounds of the private hospital where I was admitted, was a city full of people going about life, enjoying a beautiful day that I could not, that I never will.  It was Mother's Day.  Timing is everything.  

7 comments:

  1. (((HUGS))) I imagine the finality of it all is another thing to grieve for...sending you healing vibes, both mentally and physically...

    ReplyDelete
  2. With Amel. Give yourself time to grief this. In the meantime, please know there is oceans of love owning your way.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Abiding with you, Mali. Let us know how we can help ease the heartache... xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. dear Mali, warm hugs from sLOVEnia! Klara

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sending warm (and gentle) hugs

    ReplyDelete
  6. Even in the sadness and loneliness, you reach out with words and end up touching my heart. I love this post though sending a lot of healing thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Big (((HUGS))), Mali. Definitely not the greatest timing, but then we don't always get to choose, do we? Wishing a speedy recovery for both body & spirit. <3

    ReplyDelete