An Infertility Survivor's Thoughts on Life Without Kids
Oh, amen!This reminds me of the saying that holding a resentment is like taking poison and waiting for someone else to die.I went down that path of bitterness after a major loss in the past. Because it happened so suddenly, like falling off a cliff, I was able to see what a dead end lay ahead and throw my arms out instinctively toward anyone or anything that could help me stay upright.That taste I had was enough. Whatever the alternative is, there MUST be one that’s better. The tricky part is that anger sometimes serves a purpose. It can give us energy, help us work toward healthy things and stay away from unhealthy ones. But when anger sits around long enough, at some point it hardens into bitterness, which is purely a dead end. I’m still trying to figure out just where that point is, and searching for ways to keep the anger “fluid” -- that’s the word that comes to mind -- in order to move through it like you have described.
Yes! But my only warning is not to turn the anger in on yourself.
Someone very wise once told me that the reason me hold onto our anger is that it gives us the illusion of power. Anger motivates. Anger makes people forces to be reckoned with. Yet anger also limits us. To hold onto anger means we can't move forward.This post is a powerful reminder of that. As you said so elegantly, letting go of anger is important in order to start living again. Such a hard thing to do, but so necessary as the cost is to lose two lives, not one.Thank you for this. I needed it today.
Such a spiritual post, Mali. This is something I have been repeating to myself like a mantra over the last few months. I don't have it down pat, but I feel I'm getting there. Far more content these days than I have been in the past few years, far better sleep, too.
This is such an important post and I'm so glad that you wrote it. I just hope that the people who need to read it find it and read it and GET IT. Thank you for this.
VERY beautiful post, Mali. :-)))I wrote a post script below my last post about the importance of letting go over and over and over again. Without letting go of all the things that you need to let go (that you can't change/fix anyway), healing won't start 'coz it'll be a vicious cycle round and round and round and round. I think it'd help, too, if the people around us recognize that letting go doesn't mean giving up. :-)
dear Mali,beautifully written.I couldn't agree more... with every single sentence.
Love this so much!!!