I wrote a review on Alexandra Potter’s first book - Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up - here last year because it was so relevant to those of us who are not kidding. Almost immediately, I placed a hold on the sequel at the library. I’ve just read it over the last day or two, and it is such an easy read.
I have similar thoughts to the first book. I still think that the main character’s friends aren’t very nice, and that she needs to stand up for herself more! This time, I took note of some lines and thoughts that seemed appropriate, especially given the time of year.
The main character spends Mother’s Day with a great friend who is also not a mother and who she describes as a “goddamn ass-kicking superwoman.”
She notes that “The dictionary definition of mothering, … is being caring, loving and kind.” So she determines to do that for herself on Mother’s Day. That’s good advice for us all.
She also talks about how difficult the day can be for so many people. It’s rare to see that acknowledgement, and reading those words the day before That Day was comforting.
The older female character talks about menopause, and I totally agree with the sentiments expressed. I think they’re equally descriptive of the end of an infertility journey. The emphasis is mine.
“I’ll let you into a secret, Nell, it might feel like the end but that’s only because women aren’t told the rest of the story.”
In talking about pregnancy loss, she notes,
“That you can’t let go of grief, you have to wait until it lets go of you.”
Although I have yet to find a perfect definition that describes grief, this is another description that might speak to some people. Personally, I feel that grief won’t let go of you until you are also ready to let it go. But it is different for us all.
I definitely agree with the following thought, and think understanding this is critical to healing:
“I can grieve the absence but at the same time feel joy.”
Finally, Nell and her friend talk about life, decisions, and silver linings. The final thought is what I’ve always said here at No Kidding.
“Life is the silver lining.”
