Saturday, 24 September 2011

Feeling left behind


Some time ago, I read a painful post about a woman feeling left behind.  Her infertility group was pregnant.  I read this with compassion, hoping one day she can get to where I am now.

I don’t feel left behind anymore.  I just feel like I’m on a different journey, I’ve taken a different fork in the road, and I’m moving ahead, parallel to my friends with children, but not further ahead or further behind.  Their road is well-trodden, well-signposted, and with lots of support stops on the way.  It isn’t always easy – there are hurdles and ambushes and disappointments on this path, as there are on mine.  But generally it is more populated, and the people walking this path are doing so with friends, and family.  They’re getting encouraging messages from people who are a bit further up the road.  They’re also encouraging people from my road to cross over, telling us how easy it is, and how we’ll regret it if we don’t, letting us feel their pity for walking our road.

But those of us on my road can’t, or don’t want to, cross over.  And the view from our road is fabulous, but different.  Sure, we have the occasional pothole, and we often walk this path alone, without the hordes of friends and family over on the other road.  And, for those of us who had to veer off the other road, onto this one, not by choice, the way is initially very steep.  But eventually it evens out, and we stop and take a breath, sit and watch the scenery.  And it is amazing, unexpected, and breathtaking.  And we smile.

12 comments:

  1. I love this post, it's beautiful and very encouraging.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so beautiful and lovely. it describes to me perfectly what this path feels like.

    I think i am nearing the end of the steep climb to the top of our path. i can see the horizon in front of me, and am getting a taste of how lovely our path really is.

    Thank you for writing and encouraging people like me along. it feels nice to have a few in this world who understand and who I can have a mutual support with.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this! I think I've made it to the top of the incline, just trying to catch my breath now, so I can enjoy the view!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you! That's what I needed this week. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I just hope to on day be where you are now. Thank you for sharing this.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Beautiful! Such an apt description. Thanks for the road map. I am printing this post and putting it on my bulletin board.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Karen, you probably won't see this, but you can't imagine how your comment (and actually all the positive comments) made me feel.

    Just for the record, I'm submitting this to Mel's Creme de la Creme list (http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2011/12/creme-de-la-creme-final-call-and-a-contest/).

    ReplyDelete
  8. Here from la Creme... this is so beautiful. It gives me hope.

    I just loved this: "and we often walk this path alone, without the hordes of friends and family over on the other road. And, for those of us who had to veer off the other road, onto this one, not by choice, the way is initially very steep."

    It is a less populated path, and I don't yet know which path I'll be on in 5 years, but this is my path now. Knowing there is another person smiling ahead, enjoying the scenery, is truly a gift. Happy New Year.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh my I hope I come to this place of peace and of honouring my life anyway, I am really not there yet

    ReplyDelete