It's that Pain Olympics thing, but when Pain Olympics work in our favour, not against us. I am able to see how good I have it, and how much worse it could be (and has been), rather than comparing myself only against those who are in robust health and never have any issues.
I am also not under the illusion that life is fair - infertility and pregnancy loss taught me that - and yes, sometimes further injustice can feel like a slap in the face.
But infertility and pregnancy loss has also taught me to accept that life is not fair, and I've emerged from that stronger. I don't take it personally any more, and I don't feel as if my self-worth is threatened, knowing that I am who I am, not what my body will do for me. I am thankful for that, for infertility's gift to me, making it easier to deal with life's blows, and making the joys in life even sweeter, the gratitude easier to find.
Sending hugs. May this week be a better one
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you've been in pain. I hope this week is better. My father's accident was what, more than anything else, made me realize that life is not fair; it just is. I am not yet doing as good of a job of accepting this as you have. I like the idea of using the Pain Olympics to create a positive attitude rather than as a reason to wallow in self-pity. Thanks for this- I needed to read it today.
ReplyDeleteI love your last paragraph! It really resonates with me. And yes, acceptance is a gift, even when it is hard work to get there. And dealing with secondary infertility and loss, also helped prepare me for trials that would come later in my life, as they always seem to do. It is that ability to learn to live with uncertainty, that can be so challenging. But when we get there, can also be so rewarding. To be able to truly live in the present moment.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to read you've been having a difficult time lately. I agree that going through infertility has taught me that life owes me nothing, and to be more grateful for the things I do have. It's a tough lesson to learn.
ReplyDeleteSurvival and thriving means we must seek and embrace the good coming out of the vad.
ReplyDeleteKudos
Dear Mali, I am so sorry that you have been in such pain :-(!
ReplyDeleteMay you feel better very soon.
I'm sorry you're in pain. I think highlighting this shift in attitude is so important; in applying all you learned elsewhere to a current situation. It's a good reminder of what we all should do.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are remaining in pain. I absolutely love this post for the hope and acceptance in the state of pain -- especially this: "knowing that I am who I am, not what my body will do for me." That is SO HARD to accept, and such a great reminder. Thinking of you and hoping for relief.
ReplyDeleteI'm so behind on blogs so I apologize that this is so late..... I'm glad you are feeling better and I'm sorry the past few weeks were so hard. You are the epitome of strength and grace.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you've had to deal with this :( but glad if you are feeling a bit better now, and long may it continue! I agree that infertility & pregnancy loss have prepared us to deal with other issues and injustices later on -- perhaps better than others who have not yet had to deal with loss & disappointment.
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