05 May, 2015

Finally Heard

I came late to blogging in the IF/ALI context. I started here at No Kidding in 2010, almost nine years after my first loss, and seven years (and 23 days) after learning I would never have children. I’d done (most of) my grieving, with much wonderful support online, but many of those who had supported me through loss were unable to support me through a no kidding life. I wanted to find more members of my tribe, and I wanted to share what I’d learned. I had already been blogging for several years, but for some reason I had never thought about looking for infertility bloggers.
When I did look, I found Pamela. Here was a woman around my age, doing much the same thing that I wanted to do. She was a pro, with a deservedly wide reach. Her voice was being heard, even though she’d written a book called Silent Sorority. I promptly purchased and read her book, and knew that I’d found my tribe.
Pamela has not faded away. She is still at the vanguard of those of us without children who wanted children, making her and our voice heard, speaking up even when it might be unpopular. She critiques the fertility industry, something those who get their babies don’t always feel able or willing to do. Pamela has been able to step back, and look at the wider picture, and ask the question, “is this right?”

So her new book is very aptly named - “Finally Heard: A Silent Sorority Finds its Voice.” She goes beyond just the intimate emotional issues of infertility and not being able to have children, and reaches into two areas rarely discussed - the predominant societal attitudes towards infertility and the childless (I use that term because this is how society sees us), and the dangers of an unregulated infertility industry.

I for one am very grateful to have her intelligent and articulate voice speaking out and being heard on our behalf, and hope that she is never silent again. Thank you Pamela!

I urge you to read it, whatever stage you are at in your journey, and you too will know you’ve found your tribe, and your leader.

(And don't forget to review it on Amazon!)


  1. I too hope she is never silent again! I am so thankful for our tribe! I know I wouldn't be dealing with this as well as I am if I didn't have the support of my people!

  2. I can't begin to express how grateful I am for this new book by Pamela. It's a wonderful read for anyone living with infertility. You're absolutely right: this is our tribe and Pamela is truly a leader.

  3. Hmmm, your comment that those who supported you through loss were unable to support you through a no kidding life is sitting with me, Mali. I experienced some of that too, and initially found it very confusing and saddening - it was yet another loss in a sense.

    Which brings me to our much needed and much loved tribe......I'm so grateful to have Pamela's latest work to look forward to, which I'll likely read tomorrow.

  4. I'd been thinking about starting a blog after discovering Mel's, but finding Pamela's blog was the catalyst that kicked things off for me. So grateful she has continued to write and produced work like this. :) Hoping to provide my own review soon!

  5. I know this post is about Pamela, however I want to let you know that your blog helped me tremendously during my hardest years. I'm grateful that you decided to start blogging.

  6. It was great to hear your "origin" story ... and how you came to blogging. It is so exciting when you find people who get it. So glad I found your blog! I look forward to reading Pamela's book.