20 June, 2016

A thread in my tapestry

I have just finished reading On Top of Everything by Sarah-Kate Lynch, a New Zealand writer of generally light-hearted fiction who is always likeable, with a good sense of humour and lovely turn of phrase. As well as enjoying the characters, laughing at some of the comments, and drooling over a  recipe for a chocolate cake, this book also had me in tears a number of times, discussing grief and loss in many forms, including (but not only) infertility, childlessness by circumstance, and loss.

A message I try to express, but never so beautifully, about healing from grief is noted in the following line:
“It’s like he’s a thread in my tapestry, not the whole wall hanging …”
I was also please to find a comment that expresses how I feel about my ectopics and infertility, in that I discuss them only when I deem appropriate, and don't feel at all obliged to share my losses with others unless I am comfortable with doing so.

“I wouldn’t be bring him out like that and introduce him to someone unless I thought it would be of some help.”
She talks about grief and vulnerability, aptly saying:
“Accepting sympathy means you’ve
dropped any pretence of not needing it
and that leaves you raw.”
 And finally, perhaps my favourite, 
“nobody escapes the pitfalls of being a human being.”


  1. If these lines are any indication of the whole book, I'm putting it on my must read list! All of the quotes that you chose are so applicable for our lives.

  2. Each of those sentiments is beautiful. I especially like the last one because it depersonalizes the circumstances. I used to feel as though I were being prosecuted by the Universe/God, which is a horrible thought, almost unbearable.

    Did you say "chocolate cake"? Mmmmmm.....

  3. Those lines are wonderful. I really love the last one - so, so very true. I am going to have to look that book up. Thanks for sharing.

  4. I checked out the Amazon link, and that definitely looks like an interesting read. Poignant quotes and chocolate cake? What's not to love?

  5. This is lovely. And now I have another book added to my reading list!

  6. Looks like a good one -- I will put it on my wish list! :)

  7. I have to add this to my reading list. What beautiful ways to describe grief and the human condition. Just love the quotes. (No chocolate cake, but if you're looking for another excellent book that has grief woven into it beautifully, Counting by 7s by Holly Goldberg Sloan is amazing...so many quotes put into a list on my phone. It is young adult, but it is easily enjoyed by adults, too.)

  8. Joining the chorus. Love the quotes, will be looking for this book.

    (and the one Jess mentioned too)! :-)

    Thank you both.

  9. Oooh I’m liking the sound of this book, and the other of hers that you previously mentioned.
    Maybe a bulk buy online for an all too soon birthday in the coming months.
    Thanks for a great idea.

  10. Oh wow -- while I love the last quote, this is the one that got under my skin: "Accepting sympathy means you’ve dropped any pretence of not needing it and that leaves you raw."

  11. Yes, that one made me gasp.

  12. Yes, I liked that line about accepting sympathy as well.

  13. Loving the quotes, especially the last one.