16 October, 2017

Survival is not mandatory

It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.

I never really thought I’d be quoting an engineer (other than my husband), statistician and management consultant here on my No Kidding blog, but when I saw Dr W E Deming’s quote, I thought it really fits here nicely.

People resist change, whether they’re in business or whether their life plan has been foiled by circumstances or health or finances. It's not unusual to hear the newly No Kidding say something along the lines that they will NEVER accept their No Kidding situation, and to resist any suggestion that they will be okay, that they will eventually be happy even without the children they wanted so much.

But although we might think we can't or won’t adapt and accept and embrace life without children, for most of us, this isn’t really optional. Survival, after all, if not mandatory, is at least an instinct.

The sooner we allow ourselves to make the choice to survive, to adapt, to change, we'll find that it is a lot more pleasant than fighting against that which is impossible, even though it takes us out of our comfort zone.  Choosing to survive and flourish is empowering, and who wouldn't want that?


  1. It’s an interesting quote. But it also gets at the question of what survival is. BnB and I were having a conversation about photos during our period in the trenches. We both agreed we looked near death in those photos, even though at the time I think we would both agree we would have argued we were trying to survive. Your point that it actually not survival has gotten me thinking (and now I’m going to bug her some more). Thanks for the quote!

  2. Indeed! Well said...Learning to adapt and change is the key to embrace oneself and lead a happy happy life. But sometimes also one must weigh the possibilities and circumstances of that change!

  3. I think you're right in that it is an instinct. I've found rolling with my survival instinct is one thing, the "how" of survival, entirely another.

  4. So wise. I think of the Serenity Prayer often when I find myself fighting valiantly but pointlessly. Sometimes the better path for survival is to surrender. To accept.

    Good quote.

  5. I love this so much: "Choosing to survive and flourish is empowering, and who wouldn't want that?" Yes. It took me so long to get past the fighting tooth and nail stage to the acceptance stage, and I am SO much happier (and perhaps saner) for it.