Minor annoyances

I am feeling frustrated today. I'm part of a social media community about Ageing without Children. It includes both childfree and childless-not-by-choice. The last few days, a vehemently childfree man has been ranting, refusing to recognise the grief that CNBC might feel, trying to convince them that choosing to be without children is the best choice. He is tone-deaf to their loss, and has even ranted on Jody Day's page, fast becoming a troll. She gave him short shrift, to my pleasure. 

What annoys me is that people seem to think that we should buy in to their world view, whether it is pronatalist, or the complete opposite. I'm in a contented place where I am very happy at the moment with my No Kidding life, but where I see difficulties in the future which I wouldn't necessarily face if I had had children. I can see the advantages and disadvantages.There's no need to pit childfree against childless, when the rest of society judges us all, condescends to us all, and discriminates against us all.

A different, and very welcoming, social media group for Australia and NZ childfree/less members wondered what policy changes we might want to see made to consider our positions. I noted how frustrating it is to see policies made and services provided (whether by government or corporates) that are very difficult for the elderly childless person (or person with no younger people in their day-to-day6 lives). I'm including issues like elder care and housing, as well as the increasing assumption that every elderly person is proficient using the internet, or has help to do that. My father-in-law was an early adopter, with personal computers in his house from the 1980s. Yet even he really struggled as he aged, and could do little with the computer unless we did it for him. People forget that the elderly unlearn technology in their later years, or at least find it hard to learn new apps or websites. And they don't all have young people who can help them. My husband and I are doing our best to remain computer literate as long as we can. But no-one is immune to the effects of ageing, and we'll have to figure out ways to get through these challenges. If only the government services/corporates could understand that. Maybe the people writing their policies have never had to care for elderly people. Grrrr.

Then Loribeth highlighted some interesting articles on her Monday post here. There are some excellent reads, and I appreciated them. (Thanks, as always, Loribeth!) But one article made me want to scream and shout, and so I ranted a little on her page in a comment. It finished a useful article about the fact that Father's Day (or other holidays) might be difficult to get through for a range of reasons, and gave tips about how to cope. Then it undid all the good it had attempted to give, by finishing with a story about a couple struggling with infertility and hope, then becoming parents (by adoption). How tone deaf that article was. The writer really didn't get it! Fortunately, Sarah Chamberlin, formerly of Infertility Honesty, commented on the NY Times and pointed this out. She received a comment that expressed my exact view - "Father's day can be hard when articles discussing how hard it can be end with a miracle baby."

I have been wiser this month with Father's Day in the US, and have just scrolled past or ignored the many mentions I have seen. To be fair, some of them are directly to their own (still living) fathers, but there are also many mentioning their dear departed dads. It has been a very minor annoyance, and I'd almost forgotten about it until I read the aforementioned article. Fortunately, it passed unnoticed by my husband. That day will turn up here (and Australia) in a few months in early September. Then we can forget about them till March next year!