Bittersweet Silver Linings

A lovely chat this morning with some friends reminded me that all our lives have positives and negatives. It's been three years since my father-in-law died, three years where my husband and I have been able to (within reason, and Covid restrictions initially) do whatever we want, without the duty and obligations of looking after the elderly in our family. I have to admit, this morning I was struck anew by the lifting of that obligation. That I do indeed feel lighter and calmer and freer. Of course I am. We were glad to be there for the in-laws, but equally appreciate the opportunities life now offers.

One of my friends had also been looking forward to the freedom of having no children living at home, opportunities to perhaps travel, or just to see what she can now do with her life. But elder care issues are coming into her life now too, perhaps posing some restrictions or at the very least, a degree of concern and worry about what's next. Her window between caring for children and caring for parents didn't last long, she said. I feel for her. That's really tough. I hope things get better for her.

And of course, we hear about the middle-aged squeeze too - when people are still caring for children and yet have to care for elderly parents too. 

So yes, I am lucky that this isn't my reality. 

But equally, as others talked about their parents too, the conversation once again got me thinking about our old age. We might not have made too many decisions yet. But we do need to make them, and before it is too late. We have time. But there's one thing I can do now. Swedish Death Cleaning - you're (almost) next on my list of things to do!