It's hard to think of things to write when the world we've known since we were children is changing on its axis. But I heard something lovely this week that really struck a chord with me, and I wanted to share that instead.
It was a discussion about the Japanese art of kintsugi, fixing broken pottery with gold, making it more beautiful. The discussion linked the idea with that of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I know many of us don't like that. Whilst it sometimes a little bit true, it is also true that sometimes "what doesn't kill us" pretty much destroys us anyway. It certainly changes us, and it can make us feel much more vulnerable, and often weaker too. I've written about this before (click here), looking at the both/and of this statement. I know Bamberlamb hated this idea too. People would say to her, "you're so strong," when she had no choice but to go through surgery, chemotherapy, and inevitably, facing death. So often, that statement is a way of stepping back. It denies the pain and the fear and the sadness, and removes support, when instead it should show the speaker stepping forward and offering aid and love and an ear.
So I cringed at the "fix the broken pottery and make it stronger" analogy. Until the next speaker pointed out that it also makes it more beautiful than before. That, I can deal with. Even in anger and bitterness and fear, that so often comes from feeling broken, our emotions are beautiful, because they are genuine, and come from a place of heartbreak, of humanity, and so often, from love.
Accepting those cracks, those fractures, and where possible, healing them is such a sign of dignity, which is beautiful. It all leads to growth, which is also beautiful. Especially when that growth means we are more self-aware, and more loving towards ourselves and our flaws (the broken bits). Yes, there is beauty in perfection, but so much more in imperfection, I think. Perfect (in humans) is artificial. Broken, imperfect, but filled up and healed with love and compassion and sensitivity - for ourselves and inevitably for others - is honest and very real. And yes, it is stunningly beautiful.
I see it in my comments all the time, and in the other blogs I read, and messages I receive, and people I have come to know here in this community. You're all beautiful. Remember that.
