Mother’s Day can be torture to infertile women. We all know that. Mother’s Day torture lasts weeks, it's not just a day. It lasts from the moments the first advertisements (commercials) appear in the newspapers and on TV, or flash at us unexpectedly on websites, and builds up in intensity to the day itself. For those earlier in the process, this really can be torture. Even those of us who have had years to come to terms with our non-mother status can’t help but - in between the shrugs of feigned indifference - feel the odd twinges of pain.
This year Mother’s Day coincided with my husband’s birthday. We went out the night before for a posh dinner at a beautiful restaurant in a stunning old bank building, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. But on the day itself, we felt kind of lost. We’d have liked to go out to our favourite brunch place. We go about every second week, and it had been two weeks since we last visited. We usually turn up to the children-not-encouraged restaurant about 1 pm, chat and laugh with the lovely guys who run the place, and have a relaxed and delicious light lunch. It would have been the perfect mid-day treat for my husband, as we had nothing planned all day except to head out to visit his mother that evening. But even now, after all these years, we looked at each other, pictured the restaurant full of happy families feting their mothers, and said “no.” I thought I might be ready to face a restaurant at lunch on Mother’s Day. But apparently I’m not. Maybe next year.
So I got up this morning (Monday here in NZ), worked out, visited another favourite place for coffee (and it was such bad weather there wasn’t a mother with child in sight), and felt free. M’s Day over for another year. But I forgot didn’t I? I forgot about the time zone, where it is still Mother’s Day in the US. So Facebook (I have a lot of friends from the US) had a number of self-congratulations, and of course the blogs I read were all posting about it too (although many with beautiful sentiments well worth a read). And wryly, I reflected that this year Mother’s Day is taking an awfully long time to end.