Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Forgiveness


What is the single most important thing a person can do for themselves, once they've made the decision to let go of becoming a parent entirely?

Tracy of Belette Rouge was asked this at a symposium. I liked her answer, but it got me thinking about  what mine would be.  And I think I concluded that it would be simply be to forgive.

Forgive yourself.
Forgive your body (or your partner’s body) for not being able to have children. It wasn’t your fault, it wasn't a punishment, it wasn't a short-coming. It simply was, as much as the colour of your hair, or whether or not you wear glasses, or how athletic you are, part of who you are.
Forgive yourself, and let go of the blame.
Forgive yourself for not trying to have children when you were very young. *
Forgive yourself for your financial limitations.
Forgive yourself for recognising your emotional limits.
Forgive yourself for not going to the ends of the earth.
Forgive yourself for recognising that your sanity is important.
Forgive yourself for recognising that your relationship(s) is(are) important.
Forgive yourself.

* if this applies to you

10 comments:

  1. Everything you wrote applies to me. Thank you for this brilliant post. I'll copy this post long-hand on my journal, word by word, tomorrow morning during my 'centering time'.

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  2. I agree with SparklingRain: brilliant post!
    Yes, forgiving ia important (without it it is not possible to move on to a happy-again-life).

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  3. Another one from this end...
    Forgive yourself for knowing you don't have the patience to deal with a high-risk adoption situation.

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  4. Mali, this post scored a home run for me!! (to borrow from baseball terminology) THANK YOU!!

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  5. Yep, lessons in forgiveness abounds indeed and it ain't easy. Gotta keep learning each step of the way. :-)

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  6. Thank you for this. As far as I think I have come - in forgiving and accepting, I have a way to go...sitting here with tears in my eyes.

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  7. Forgiveness is the first step to healing. Some items on this list take longer than others. I would add one more: forgive others for their ignorance and well intended comments that completely miss the mark. Terrific list.

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  8. Sometimes it's hard. But yes, forgiving and letting things go. It's not worth carrying the negativity around!

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  9. That one....forgive yourself for not trying to conceive when you were very young. Wow. That hit home

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