Monday, 1 June 2015

What I know is true

A Fb friend (who knows something about grief herself) posted a link to a Joe Biden speech on grief today. It was tough watching it, knowing what he had been through, and what he is going through again right now. Once sentence though said it all -

“One day, you will think of them 
and a smile will come to your lips, 
before a tear comes to your eyes.” 

He reminded those newly bereaved military parents in the audience that he had more experience in this than they did, and that he knew this was true. It was true for him and the loss of his wife and daughter so many years ago; it was true for me with the loss of my two pregnancies and the hope of any children over a decade ago. Now I can fondly remember my love for the children I never had, and feel that love without the pain.

I too have more experience in this than so many of you, and one thing I know is that it will be true for you too.


14 comments:

  1. I truly believe that is the case. There comes a time when you do smile more than cry when you think of a lost loved one. It's been 15 years since I lost my mother to cancer and more often than not, when I think of her, I do so with a big smile. Sure, I still get sad that she's gone but I now remember her with great fondness and celebrate who she was.

    I hope there comes a time when I can reach that point with my own pregnancy loss.

    Thank you as always for sharing these messages of hope.

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    1. Carmody - yes, I feel that way about my father (coming up 10 years) too.

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  2. What a memorable quote! I love Joe Biden!

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  3. What a beautiful post <3
    thank you ((hugs))

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  4. It's funny, but I feel this same way too. And I don't have the same amount of experience. But to know that one day you can remember the good before the bad is so promising. Filled with hope.

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  5. Haha, great minds think alike... I wrote about Joe Biden for #MM too. :) As you can probably tell ;) his family's story has affected me deeply and they are much in my thoughts today. :( The man knows grief.

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  6. I also had a FB friend post a link to Biden's speech. I never listened to it: just reading the about what he had gone through (the death of wife and daughter, then recently of his son) was overwhelming. I could only think "the poor man" and "life is so horribly unfair." I am moved by stories like this but can't find any sense of redemption in them, not yet. Perhaps it is because I've never lost anyone that close, only feared it (although I have watched people lose a close family member). I only know the fear. It is good to hear you say that the good outlives the bad.

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  7. Lovely quote - and something to look forward to when the grief hits hard.

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  8. Oh...This brought a tear to my eye and then a smile to my face. Beautiful, just beautiful.

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  9. I think it's important to hear that it's possible to reach that place when you feel so far away from it.

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  10. We haven't heard much from him these many years, but I'm so grateful for this speech. I wish politicians talked about their own difficult emotional challenges more often, and frankly, like this. Thanks for re-posting this lovely sentence, which does sum it up reaching that healing place so well.

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  11. Very true about the smile before the tears. Now on to watching that video.

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  12. I watched the video when it popped up in my fb feed. It was a touching, genuine speech.

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