Monday, 26 October 2015

Resilience

I've realised over time that much of what I write about here is resilience - learning what it is, how to develop it, how to use it now I recognise what helps and what doesn't. Jjiraffe at Too Many Fish to Fry has written a lovely post about resilience here, and I urge you to go and check it out.

As I was reading her post and the comments, my first reaction* was that I didn't realise I was developing resilience, as both through my ectopics, and when dealing with the loss of any possibility of having children, I felt alone, lost, and weak - anything but resilient. I had no idea what to do, how to grieve, or how to behave, so I was flying blind. But as I look back, I realise that some of the things that came naturally to me were examples of resilience. Other things I had to learn, over time and through trial and error. Ultimately, I think the most important lesson is that resilience doesn't mean not experiencing pain, avoiding our emotions or situations, or not being able to feel what we feel. Instead, I believe that it means working through them and looking to a positive future.

Resilience


*  Other thoughts on resilience may follow.

#MicroblogMondays

9 comments:

  1. This short post packs a lot of punch! It's so true, we go through the hard stuff because we have to, and we come out of it a stronger person. There have been so many times when I've felt like the weakest person on the face of the earth (dramatic, I know, but when we're in the depths of it, that's how it feels), but now I can look back and say with confidence that I was actually pretty damn strong. You are so right though, we have to work through the hard stuff and know that we're going to come out of it better.

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  2. A timely and strong post!
    I agree with you and Bentnotbroken, when I was going through some of the hardest stuff, I felt the least like a resilient person. Being able to reflect on that journey now highlights that I was also flying blind and being really strong. thank you for this reminder <3

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  3. Oh, I love this! Resilience is totally working through the pain, and figuring out how to still be a functional human-like substance (and then eventually reconstituted into a normal human with scars). Just because you cry or feel rage or hopelessness doesn't mean you're not strong. It's that whole getting up after getting knocked down...it just may take a little while longer if you're hit with a wallop.

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    1. Yes! Yes! Yes! Could not have said it better. :)

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  4. Beautifully said. Every word resonates. (As an aside, I remember an impromptu work performance review where one of the managing partners in summing up a long period of thorny projects I'd powered through said, "what I admire most is your resilience." This remains one of my attributes about which I am most proud. I relay that same admiration of you, Mali.)

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  5. Wow, just wow. I love this post, and love your definition of resilience. I too "flew blind" for a while, trying to figure out what to do, but during that time I was becoming stronger (though I didn't realize it and thought I was weak). What an important message you're bringing for those still in the midst of the fight.

    Thanks for the link love. :)

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  6. I loved jjiraffe's post. I agree that so many times it's about moving through that difficult time, putting one foot in front of the other way any way that you can.

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  7. Great post! For some reason I feel I have seen a bunch of articles lately about the damaging effects of loss, trauma, bullying or abuse. Yes, it is important to recognize and validate the physical, emotional, social and spiritual harm. However, I feel it paints a bleak future to remain focused on the impacts as if the person is damaged for life, or damaged goods. Resiliency is so important in healing, grieving and reclaiming your personal power. It may take time, but you can move through those experiences to a beautiful life. Thank you for the link to the article.

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  8. I sure don't FEEL resilient. :p But somehow, I manage to slog my way through the tough situations life throws in my way. And I'm still here, which I guess counts for something. ;)

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