12 November, 2015

Past Novembers: An Anniversary Post

Although I started writing about my infertility and loss over 13 years ago, and spent many years working daily with women who had suffered loss, I realised recently that it has been just over five years since I found my not-so-silent sorority in this community, first at Pamela’s blog, then Loribeth's and beyond. A month or so later, I started blogging here. My first post was exactly five years ago today, and explained why I have mixed feelings about November.

My first post didn’t receive any comments (not unexpectedly!), but by my fourth post, Kathryn, Lisa and Loribeth had turned up. 370 posts later, Kathryn may still read, but she doesn’t blog any longer. Lisa is busy with her site Life Without Baby and getting the message out to those of us without children and the wider society and media. And of course, dear Loribeth still blogs and comments wisely, an important and much treasured member of the community I’ve been proud to join.

Do I still have mixed feelings in November? Well, at the moment I am feeling a little melancholy, but that’s a result of a couple of other issues, not my No Kidding status. I’d probably be feeling a lot better too, if we could get more than one sunny, spring-like day at a time! Spring in Wellington is always unpredictable – let’s face it, summer, autumn and winter are also unpredictable – and today we’ve had hail, rain, warm sun, more hail, and now, more warm sun.The warm sun lets me hope that summer is, in fact, just around the corner.

So, to turn to an American November tradition, I will end this five-year anniversary post by saying how thankful I am that I have met so many of you here, or on your own or other blogs, how much your thoughtful comments and posts mean to me, and how happy I am that so many people are still part of our no kidding community.


  1. I am also thankful for all the people who are part of our no kidding community.

    I just checked the accuweather for NZ and saw that you have aprox 11 C.
    In Slovenia, we have been having for the last 14 days temperatures around 20 C. It's the warmest November in the last 60 years. I am enjoying an Indian summer. I try to catch as much sun with Wolfie as I can... before the grey & cold months come.


  2. 5 years is a huge milestone: congratulations on reaching it. And selfishly, I am so glad you decided to take to the screen and share your words. They have certainly changed my life and world view. And made me want to get to New Zealand!

  3. Dear Mali, thank you so much for the tremendous compliment. <3 You are a treasure yourself, and I am so glad and thankful you decided to start blogging here five years ago. :)

  4. Happy blogoversary!! 5 years is a huge milestone. I'm grateful for finding your blog and making a new friend because of this space. Wishing you many more years of fruitful writing. And sending you peace during this period of melancholy

  5. Congratulations on five years, even if it is bittersweet. I love this space...how you write, how you speak to loss and living child-free, how you explore the no kidding life and how it is shown in the media/society... I am grateful for your five years and look forward to reading more and more as time marches on!

  6. Belated blogaversary congratulations, dear Mali. The world got much smaller when you joined the conversation. Thank you for continuing to be a steady beacon of light. xo