Wanting it enough

 You can achieve anything series – Part 3

One of my favourite reality shows is Project Runway. I watch it for the fashion, to feel how out of touch I am and for its celebration of creativity and inspiration. One thing always puzzles me though. In one of the last shows, they always ask the last four or five people why they should be included in the final three to show at New York Fashion Week. And almost without fail, they all say, “because I want it so badly. I’ve never wanted anything like this ever before.” As if that’s a decent reason to give them a place. Only rarely will they refer to their creativity, their skills, their record of wins, their unique aesthetic, their commercial appeal, etc. Perhaps they’re part of the generation who have been raised to believe that wanting it is, in fact, enough.

Ultimately though, only one is the winner. Others, who have “wanted it” just as much or more, worked just as hard or more, and shed just as many tears or more as the winner, don’t take home the prize, receive the title, or bask in the accolades.

So clearly, “wanting it enough, working hard enough, believing in themselves” are not, in fact, enough to ensure we achieve our goal. We certainly see evidence of that in the infertility world, nowhere more so than here in our No Kidding blogging community.

So many of us cling to the idea that if we want it enough, we somehow deserve the reward. Who can blame us, after all the messages pushing the ideas that we must become mothers, and that it is within our grasp if we try hard enough? But those of us on this side know that wanting it, sticking at it, and working hard are in fact, never enough. They might help. They might in fact work for some people. But for the majority of us, we know that ultimately, luck and/or fate and/or genes and/or location and/or wealth and/or privilege or whatever you want to call it is going to play a part.

And that will be my next post - Privilege in the infertility world.