December is here. As much as I like December for the warming temperatures, the prospect of several weeks break with (for this self/un-employed person) no obligation even to seek work because the rest of New Zealand is out on their summer holiday, and the joys of summer, it always brings memories.
Along with the inevitable reminders of my parents, December, for me, will always be my pregnancy loss month. Looking back at previous writings, I can confirm that now I simply remember it as a fact of life, and something that doesn't upset me now. However, a particular incident a week or so ago reminded me how easy it is to feel very lonely as a No Kidding couple. I felt extraneous to much of the world, and this brought a real feeling of helplessness, and worthlessness. Fortunately that faded quickly, and I'm now looking forward to the bright side of this particular situation (there is one).
So although it was a painful reminder of my vulnerability, it was also a reminder of my hard-won strength and resilience.