A Musical Interlude: Finding the Words

One of the things I remember most about going through grief was not having the words to explain myself, or even to ask for help, and others around me not having the words to be able to help. In the interim, I remember how well touch helped – simple, uncomplicated touches on my arm or shoulder, or hugs. How touch said what words couldn’t; “I care” or “I’m listening” or simply “I’m here.”

It often makes me think of this song, a well known song from a New Zealand musical icon of the last 40+ years or so. His songs Loyal, Welcome Home, and Slice of Heaven are unofficial anthems, and played at the right times, can bring stiff-upper-lip Kiwis to tears. Dave Dobbyn became Sir Dave earlier this year. He deserved it!

But this song is darker, but perhaps more meaningful. It seems to express those times of grief, or stress, or depression, when we can't express ourselves, or say what we want to - or should - say. Know that if you feel this way, you’re not alone. Many of us have been there. But it gets easier. And in the meantime, we're here.

Language by Dave Dobbyn

My hands are tied
Oh I could be a victim
When my tongue won't move 
You have tied with your heartstrings

When I needed you most 
I couldn't find the language
When I needed you more 
I couldn't say a word

My hands truly tied 
Yeah I know I'm a prisoner 
When my tongue wouldn't move 
You have tied with your heartstrings again

And when I needed you most 
I couldn't find the language 
When I needed you more 
I couldn't say a word

When I needed you most 
I couldn't find the language 
When I needed you more 
I couldn't say a word

One day a heap on the ground 
Next day I'm so proud 
Today I don't know, I don't know
Hey

Your hands are cold 
That's why I try to contain you 
Now my words are cursed 
Ember from the ashes

One day a heap on the ground 
Next day I'm so proud 
Today, I haven't got a clue 
Feels like a river of tears

Today I'm gonna dry these eyes 
No
When I needed you more 
Couldn't say a word

Couldn't say a word