I was dredging through some of my old drafts, and found something I’d written, but never posted. Now, it seems a little anachronistic. It was effectively about those playing the Pain Olympics game, and the lack of compassion sometimes shown between the different branches of the former ALI community. I’d found myself caught in the middle of something, and so I’m not going to revisit that.
But in my post, I found this memory that I’m not sure I’ve shared before. I was talking to my Fertility Guy about IVF, and he emphasised that it would be very stressful. I countered that I wasn’t too bothered, as I’d just been through a second ectopic pregnancy that took six-seven months to fully resolve, and that had stressed me to the limit. “After that, I can cope with IVF,“ I said blithely! He chuckled, then said very kindly, “well, okay, but just remember that your losses took a lot out of you, and so you might be starting at an already high level of stress.”
It's a good reminder that all the little filaments of our
lives affect our resources and our ability and willingness to take on more
stress. That’s important to remember in our No Kidding lives, as we live with
different stresses from others around us. It helps us to know ourselves, forgive
ourselves, and be kind to ourselves. Discovering self-compassion and self-knowledge helped make me much more resilient. It turns stress into strength.
This is so true. I feel like sometimes we forget the effect of cumulative trauma, but every once in a while it reminds us. Depending on where you are, you may not be starting with a full cup, your cup may be emptied a bit (or a lot) already. But it is true that self-kindness comes from realizing this and knowing that you can bend and not break. Great post!
ReplyDeleteEvery person lives different situacions all around the Life. The stress is a bad factor of the mind. And It happens for different circumstances.
ReplyDeleteIs necessary stop stress inmediately, if not if It increase is really bad.
Is necessary then stay in calm. This is the best. And stay far from the stress situations
What a timely reminder! I think I am very affected by various stressors right now, and I had temporarily forgotten. When I remember, my confusing feelings make much more sense. Thank you.
ReplyDelete"Discovering self-compassion and self-knowledge helped make me much more resilient." -- oh, yes, so true. With this simple statement, you've helped me draw the line about retaking control from situation in which I seem to have none, simply by looking inside, being kind about all that's there, and beginning to make sense about my feelings about the situation. Like untangling a knotted skein of yarn that is me.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I remember those Pain Olympics flare-ups!
ReplyDelete