Further to my post last week, this week I am both thriving and wilting. It's hot. Thinking about my photo from last week's post makes me want a swim. I'm generally not crazy enough to swim in cold Wellington waters. Unless the heat continues. Though I probably would have been to the beach several times if I had kids at home. Maybe I'd even have dared to dip in the water. Even thinking about it is tempting!
Not that, at my age, I would still have kids at home. It's interesting to make that adjustment mentally. For twenty years, I have thought to myself things like, "I would be doing X if I had kids," or alternatively, "I wouldn't be able to do X if I had kids." I didn't do it to torture myself - not after the first few years anyway. But it was just a way of acknowledging my life. Still, I actually have to stop doing that now. Except for one, none of my peers still have kids at home. Our lives, superficially at least, are all very similar in that regard.
We were talking about money this morning. My husband said we are living beyond our means. We dug into that, and although we are not in fact doing so in general, our travel aspirations and scarily, rampant inflation, could take us close to that realm. Although of course, as we get older, our spending will drop - except perhaps on medical expenses that are not covered, or living expenses and assistance. And I got wondering whether people with children, in similar financial circumstances to us, think about these things as much. Our relatives with children will always have them as a financial back up, just as I was for my mother (although it wasn't really necessary), and my husband and his brothers were all there for his parents (though their frugality made it unnecessary also). If my sisters and brothers-in-law ever need funds, their well-educated kids will be there for them. Do they ever consciously acknowledge that? Does it make life easier for them? Or do they just take it for granted, I wonder?
Of course, in the interests of being fair, I also have to acknowledge those whose children might be more of a financial drain on their parents in their old age. Unless one of our nieces/nephews go rogue, or have terrible luck (always possible), we shouldn't have to deal with that. But parents can't ever really wash their hands of their children either. So it's a good reminder not to look at issues from only one perspective.
That perspective is a good one -- that where you are (and I am) now is not necessarily where we would be earlier in things, when people are like "treasure the moments." I don't often see people posting on teenage angst "treasure the moments" like they do for babies and toddlers. Maybe it's when the hormones outweigh the cuteness?
ReplyDeleteThe inflation piece is so interesting, too. You plan for the future, but if inflation keeps...inflating, the money you have isn't the same as the money you thought you'd have. It's good to have those conversations and hash it out. You make good points about aging making some expenses less. I didn't realize Wellington had waters like Maine, where it's way colder than you expect. Although it always looks like a sunny paradise in your pictures! Is it the currents? I am piqued!
Yes, I guess it is the currents. That and the roaring forties. No gulf stream current here. My sister on the north coast gets warm water from a subtropical current. We're not so lucky. It might be sunny, but it's not tropical! lol
DeleteThe aged parents I know are all terrified of outspending their money and needing to be supported by their children when they know those children will be desperately trying to finish their children (the grandchildren's) education and save for their own retirement years. The idea of bankrupting their own children.....
ReplyDeleteI guess I didn't think about taking it to that extreme (eg bankrupting). More along the lines of helping out if there were unexpected costs etc.
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