Getting through, staying whole, and thriving

I found a quote the other day which I liked, and in following up who had said it originally, I went down a rabbit-hole of wonderful quotes, and spent an hour being inspired. The quote I was looking for was from the wonderful Maya Angelou, and when I found that, I found some of her other words that also apply to those of us who wanted to have children, however late in the piece, but who were unable to become parents. In fact, they take us through the gamut from that intial shock and grief, to finding ourselves, and emerging feeling strong and victorious.

“The only way out of something is all the way through it.” - Maya Angelou

Oh, this is so true! When I had my second ectopic pregnancy, I thought I knew all about ectopics. I thought I could get through the sadness and loss more quickly as a result, or even skip it. I was wrong.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you,
but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” 

I love this. It’s how so many of us feel about not having children. We wanted them. We have suffered loss, and we will continue to suffer loss. But we are not less because of that. We are not reduced. We are just changed from the people we were, or thought we were. In fact, in many ways we are stronger and better.

And finally, she said,

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

I’m still looking for the style, but otherwise, my life is exactly this. I can’t think of a better way to come out of infertility, and into a new, No Kidding life, with this as your mission in life.

 

 PS. I was thriving when I took this photo of water lilies on the Chobe River in Botswana last year.