15 years

This week, on Wednesday, in fact, my little blog turns fifteen years old. Fifteen years ago, I found I needed an outlet for thoughts about not having children, at a time when I was almost daily volunteering on the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust's messageboard, helping and reassuring women who were going through ectopic pregnancies, that they had a 90% chance that their next pregnancy would be in the right place. Ironically, as I think back, three of the five main volunteers over those years did not go on to have successful pregnancies, yet daily we reassured women that the odds were in their favour. It felt good to help them. But it also felt good to help those who were not going to be that lucky. They needed us. They needed me. 

There were no other No Kidding communities where I felt I could go. I searched blogs, and found Pamela's Silent Sorority blog, and Loribeth's Road Less Travelled. Both were women about my age and situation. I could related. But I didn't just want to read. After six years of volunteering, I had all those thoughts and growth of my own, and a lot of gleaned wisdom from my wonderful fellow volunteers, that I felt deserved to be continued to be voiced too. I was finally confident in how I felt about not having children living a No Kidding life that meant I wasn't yet ready just to put it all away and pretend it hadn't happened. 

15 years later, I'm still not ready to do that, although I know my posting has slowed down considerably! But I still have things to write about. I see a comment pop up in a completely different context, and see how it applies to those of us living No Kidding lives, and feel the urge to write about it. That's next week's post (accidentally published for this week until I reverted it to a draft when I discovered it was my 15 year anniversary).  

15 years later, No Kidding lives are talked about a bit more. But pronatalism/natalism is still dominant in our societies. Here in New Zealand, in my peer group, I am thankfully usually free of it. It makes my everyday life easier. I'm grateful for that. 15 years later, my name is now out there as someone who has spoken out for those who don't have children. I'm still not sure how I feel about that, but if I don't think about it, I'm fine! 

15 years later, I have real friends through this blogging community. Some have children. Many don't. We chat on blogs, or via zoom, on whatsapp, or other means. And of course I've been lucky to meet a few bloggers in person - Pamela, Klara, Lilly, and Lesley. I was going to say "in real life" but of course, over 15 years of interactions, I consider this "real life" too. Meeting in person is very special though, when we already know each other "inside out." I hope to meet more of you, here in NZ or on my travels.

Thanks for reading, being here, writing in parallel on your own blogs, being part of my No Kidding life. I'm not sure how much longer I will continue, as blogs seem to fall out of favour, and readers dwindle. But if I can reach one new person, it's worth continuing. And keeping you all in my life is important to me too. I'm not kidding. I love being part of an intelligent, thoughtful, supportive community. Thank you all.