A few good lines for the childless

This morning I saw an article noting that a river cruise company was going adults-only. There was a comment in the article (I think, or maybe it was on Fbk) – I can’t find it again, so don’t know who said this – stating simply, 

“Not every space needs to be family friendly.” 

That isn’t unreasonable, is it? But of course, asking that reminds me of the conversations we had in the ALI community about adults-only spaces seven years ago. I’m hoping that the fact that these occasional adults-only space haven't resulted in a dramatic increase in places that are restrictive of children has eased the fears of some of those commenting back then. After all, not every space needs to be adults only, and not every space needs to be family friendly, and I for one (as well as all my friends and family who don’t have children, and also those who do) am very grateful for the variety.

This article* coined the phrase “reproductive harassment” as a way of explaining all the questions we get about whether we have children, have we thought about adopting, etc.

And Jody Day wrote an article here, including this great line:

“I long for the day when it becomes as unacceptable to casually ask a woman about her plans for her uterus as it is to ask her about her plans for her vagina.”

* Thanks to Loribeth for the link.

Everything does not happen for a reason: in poetry

I thought I'd share another poem I posted today, one with a very strict line and rhyming structure, but I think it worked well for the topic:

An unrelated footnote:
If anyone has had difficulty commenting here, feel free to email me at malinzblog at yahoo dot co dot nz. I'm hoping Blogger hasn't changed settings which mean we can't chat.

I know one of our regular Microblog Mondays bloggers has started a new blog, and, frustratingly, I can't comment on her page. Though it is not a Blogger blog.

No Kidding and Childfree in Poetry

Today, though, a Healing Acrostic:

N         Normality newly defined
O         Opportunities lost conversely mean opportunities gained
K         Kinder and gentler
I           Insight
D         Dispelled disenfranchised grief (mostly)
D         Dreams of the future, not the past
I           Inner calm and acceptance ousts shame
N         Nature appreciated
G         Gratitude

Infertility and childlessness in Poetry

It's Poetry/Experimenting with Form month over on my 2018 daily blog, TakeTwo. I'm going to address No Kidding and infertility issues more than once during this month.

Here is today's entry:

A Barren Acrostic

I           Isolated
N         Natural
F          Friendless
E          Exhausting
R          Regretful
T          Torture
I           Invasive
L          Loss
I           Ignored
T          Technology
Y          Yesterday

No Kidding Equilibrium Disturbed

I’ve often written about one of the key behaviours that helped me heal, that keeps me at a healthy equilibrium, and allows me to look forward not back. And that is refusing to allow myself to think about the what-ifs, never imagining the details of the child or children we never had, those babies we lost who would (this is always dangerous, but because of this policy I always have to stop to calculate this) by now be 16 and 15 respectively, as this would simply be an exercise of self-flagellation.

I’m watching the TV show Counterpart, which is set in two alternative versions of our world, where versions of each person exist in both, but with subtle differences. <Warning: SPOILER ALERT> The lead character in one world lost a baby to miscarriage, and never had children, and in the other world, the counterpart character had that baby (and its name was the same as that chosen for the miscarried baby in the other world). The childless character discovers this, and understandably has an overwhelming urge to get to know the now grown-up baby.

It is hard to watch this and not wonder about a 16-year-old girl or 15-year-old boy (or vice versa), to wonder what their personalities and interests and talents and flaws would have been. I try not to, but it is hard, and after so many years of resisting this temptation, it is unexpected too.

I’m pretty confident that I’m not going to fully fall prey to the temptations, because – unlike on Counterpart – there is not and will never be a real person to see as the embodiment of my child, but … still …