Monday, 25 January 2016

Looking for joy

I often talk about the importance of finding joy amidst grief and loss, and apologise if I am too repetitive. For me, the momentary pleasure of a rush of joy or bursting into laughter or feeling love is very important when I am feeling sad or alone. It connects me to others through laughter or love, to nature when I see or smell or hear something beautiful, and to myself, simply by recognising I can still feel joy.

One of the hardest times in my life, when I was in hospital with my second ectopic, when it seemed it would never resolve and there was a prospect it had turned cancerous, almost always brings memories of the brilliance of the red flowers on the pohutukawa trees by the hospital carpark. I could see them from my hospital room, and took pleasure in the blooms, just as whenever I see cherry blossoms now, I remember how they gave me moments of joy during the days of visiting the hospice and sitting with my father as he was dying.

The joy doesn’t mean the pain isn’t there, or that it goes away never to return. But joy provides a blessed moment of relief from pain. It is a promise that I can feel happiness, and will again. If I’m repetitive here, perhaps it is because I need to remind myself regularly that there is always joy in this life, and I should never forget to look for it.


14 comments:

  1. I love your friendly reminder!

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  2. It is so important to look for joy in everyday life. Great reminder!

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  3. Isn't that a kind of being happy? To me happiness isn't a monotonous positive feeling, it is the little things and our ability to enjoy those.
    Love it, and your many reminders!

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  4. Love this! And needed it today in a big way.

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  5. A beautiful reminder. Finding joy in the midst of darkness and pain is so hard, but so necessary.

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  6. Finding delight and happiness in little everyday things helps me to stay in that positive mindset I try hard to cultivate but can’t always maintain.

    It doesn’t hurt to be reminded as often as we need to be. It’s all too easy to fall back into that rut of grief and loss and what will never be, and it can be a hard climb back up, time and time again.

    I’m a bit over the top with positivity at the moment – a holiday by the beach will do that to you – looking for shells on the daily beach walk; watching the honeyeaters come in every evening for their fill from the grevilleas by the window; laughing kookaburras waking us up at some ungodly hour of the morning; catching up with an old school friend I’ve known since I was ten; an evening glass of wine or two and the Australian Open or the cricket match on TV.
    I hope I can help it continue as I get back into my ‘home again’ routine.

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  7. I welcome the repetition -- we all need the reminder -- and I love this: "The joy doesn’t mean the pain isn’t there, or that it goes away never to return." So true.

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  8. Brings to mind an old Stevie Wonder tune, "Joy Inside My Tears"~ the reminder is most welcome.

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  9. So lovely - beautiful sentiment and post.

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  10. So glad you were able to find some joy & beauty amid the sadness & uncertainty. (((hugs)))

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  11. I love this! This is what gives us all hope.

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  12. Love this reminder. And I love the word "joy".

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  13. So beautifully put! I think those moments are helpful reminders that there can be and will be happier days ahead. That we are not forever stuck in one emotion.

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