On top of all that, my mind has been swirling with Too Much to Think About. I've been worried about the future (though I accept I can worry about that when I'm better), worried about my recovery (which is now going to plan), alternately worried about and frustrated with family, and angry about the misogyny that I see everywhere, and have been seeing since I was a girl, and wondering if it will ever change. Recovering from a uniquely female surgery has I think accentuated my feelings of vulnerability and injustice over recent internet discussions. Then to top it off the childless Pope tells us we will be bitter and lonely in our old age (is he?) - at the same time condemning millions of people in the developing world to poverty and illness and maternal death and child mortality because he believes in "fruitfulness." So my head hasn't been in the right space to post, even if my body was.
Sunday, 8 June 2014
Yes, as you may have noticed, I am struggling to post. Pre-surgery, I would spend hours a day at my computer. Of course, I am self-employed, so my computer is where I do my work. But even when I’m not working (eg now), I climb the stairs to my office, and do stuff at my computer. I sort and edit my photos, create my photo books (still haven’t finished the third from our summer/autumn overseas last year), write blog posts, read essays and articles, look for jobs, and watch The Daily Show.
Well, pre-surgery The Daily Show disappeared. Or rather, New Zealanders were geo-blocked from its content. I've discovered that was because it is now on one of our cable channels, and so I've been watching it from my red leather couch downstairs, where I have been recuperating from the surgery and pre-surgery illness.
And I discovered that sitting at the computer for long periods of time is verboten. Tiring easily and pain stopped me coming up here (for that is where I am typing this) for quite a while. And typing (and commenting) on my iPad isn’t easy, and anyway, typing also requires me to sit up. So blogging, and all sorts of other computer-related activities have been severely curtailed. For which I apologise.
I promise that in a week or two, I will resume normal service. Even better, I’d like to post more regularly. There. I've said it. Make sure you hold me to it!