Much of my Gifts of Infertility series (not yet finished) is focused on the fact that though I went through some awful times, I have come through it better than I was before. The quote below really says it the best:
“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”
I would also add that when you are completely undone, it feels like complete destruction. We just don’t yet realise that something else is about to bloom that will be beautiful and strong.