Monday, 24 July 2017

I'm not kidding: A reminder

I called this blog No Kidding in NZ, not only because I wanted a title that made it clear that I don’t have children, but also because I wanted a title that would keep me honest, and remind me every time I write that I can’t believe the myths, the negative voices, or those who just don’t get it.
  • I don't kid myself that there’s a reason why I couldn't have children, that I deserved this, or that was unworthy.
  • I don't kid myself that there is only one lifestyle in which we can be happy.
  • I don't kid myself that the only way to contribute to this world is through parenting or provision of DNA
  • I don't kid myself that there isn't some pain in this lifestyle, but I acknowledge there is also freedom and joy
  • I don't kid myself that I’ll be cared for in my old age, or that it isn't harder to make and keep friends when you don't have children, but it means I can treasure what I have now, and at the same time make plans for the future
  • I don’t kid myself that my life is better or worse than if I had become a parent; it is just my life.
It’s a reminder I need from time to time, and I’m sure I could add to this list (if I had more than eight sentences), so please feel free to add your own reminders (to yourself, or to me) in the comments.



4 comments:

  1. These are great reminders. I especially like the first and the last. I feel like I don't kid myself that I am always going to examine our choices on this ride, but that nothing will change them and so I need to make peace with the thoughtfulness and rightness of our decision to end adoption. I am the queen of second-guessing, and I know myself well enough to know I won't ever stop, but I can reflect on it and know that the life we have is what we have, and hindsight is 20-20.

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  2. Being truthful with yourself (or not) is also the topic of Mel's post this week, so this is a neat post to read alongside hers. I like the double layer of the title.

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  3. The title of the blog grows deeper and deeper. I love this post.

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  4. I am the queen of second-guessing, and I know myself well enough to know I won't ever stop, but I can reflect on it and know that the life we have is what we have, and hindsight is 20-20.


    แตกใน xxx

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