21 May, 2018

Don't feel guilty - be happy!

I thought I'd look back on some previous posts today, and went back to my first calendar year of blogging on No Kidding (I've blogged elsewhere for years longer), and the things I talked about that May 2011.

The month started with some thoughts (amongst others) about some of the things I would be doing if I'd had children, if my ectopic babies had not been ectopic. These were wistful thoughts that had sneaked up on me, things I hadn't realised I was missing out on, although in writing about them I was able to focus on the things I loved, rather than the fact I wasn't doing them with children.

But then I moved onto happier thoughts, and wrote about all the things I was missing out on because I don't have children, but it was a happy list, things I am pleased I have missed out on.

Finally, I wrote a post celebrating all the things I can do precisely because I have children. It still stands, and might be worth looking at if you're feeling a bit down. I called it Yee hah, the things I'm doing because I don't have kids!

Seven years later my message is the same; it's okay to embrace our lifestyles, to feel happy about the advantages, and to cast off any guilt that might be lurking.


  1. I’ve been going through old posts from both my blogs lately too.... I feel I’ve come a long way, but everything I wrote about still rings true... despite the passing years and the changes that have happened, I feel my messages to myself are bang on.

  2. Yes, a thousand times yes to this post! I loved reading your older posts, and commiserated with you through all of them. It's funny, I wrote this week about the things I'm grateful for being childfree, and it goes so well with this! I have many things I'm happy to have missed out on, too. And things we can do that we wouldn't if we'd been successful in family building. It's lovely to celebrate all that we have in the face of all that we've lost!

  3. Great points! If this is the life I have, then I might as well enjoy it, even if it isn't the one I most wanted. Here's to being able to appreciate missing out on things that ARE worth missing out on!

  4. I need to do this kind of post more often! :) Thanks for the idea!