28 May, 2018

The process of acceptance

  1. Acceptance is the key to healing after infertility, but it is not a simple process, taking time,  and most importantly, an openness to the possibility of finding acceptance.
  2. Acceptance does not mean that we are saying “it’s okay that this happened to me,” or that we don’t really mind that we didn’t have children.
  3. Acceptance is simply an understanding that what we wanted isn’t going to happen, and a farewell to our dreams.
  4. We accept that our lives can and will still be good, productive, fulfilling, and we turn and look to the future.
  5. We accept that grief, anger, and other emotions will still come, but so too will joy, happiness, and gratitude, even if we haven’t quite grasped them yet.
  6. We accept that we are valuable individuals, just as worthy of love and deserving of a good life as anyone else, and show ourselves true self-compassion.
  7. We accept that this is not our fault, and we banish the guilt that “maybe we didn’t want it enough/try hard enough,” by banishing the negative thinking involved in infertility and childlessness.
  8. We start looking for the good in our lives, and we embrace it when we find it, feeling joy, happiness, and gratitude free of guilt, because there really is no other option.

For more information: Click herefor a link to the 132 posts with the label “acceptance."
Note: This post was prompted by some questions I received, and some posts on other blogs.


  1. I'm reminded of how I used to hate the word "acceptance" when used in the stages of grief after I lost my Mum. Acceptance sounded to me like I was ok with something. Acceptance in that circumstance eventually meant for me accepting that this is how things are and trying to make the most of the life I hadn't chosen.

  2. I love your list. But most of all I love your conclusion...."because there really is no other option."
    Exactly! I couldn't agree more.

  3. I love this. And dublinerinDeutschland hit the nail on the head of how I use to view acceptance.

  4. Love love love this post! I also used to think on "acceptance" as a sort of synonym for "giving in" or "giving up", a sort of throwing-in-the-towel feeling. Whereas now it feels more like "healing" or "getting off the damn merry go round" or "moving forward with the life I have." Such a powerful post that I wish I could send back to myself over a year ago.

  5. YES, this. Exactly this. Thanks, Mali!