25 September, 2018

Miscellaneous No Kidding issues

One of the advantages of time between those initial years of infertility and grief, and today, is that perspective begins to set in. I find I'm better able to have a more global outlook, to see comparisons, and not to react sharply, and personally, to ignorant or insensitive comments.

I find too that I'm better able to stand up for myself, and for my No Kidding sisters (and brothers). I recently mentioned that motherhood is glorified in western societies these days, and was surprised when a friend I hadn't seen in a long time was completely disbelieving. It was clear she'd never had to think about it before (because they are in the majority), and consider how biased society can be.

It has also made me really sensitive to other insensitivities, which I observed this month when two sisters of someone I know cheerfully posted a Fb meme answering questions about their happy relationships. At exactly the same time, their third sister was splitting from her husband and leaving her home.

And right now, I'm trying very hard not to think about what our own ageing and demise will be like, as I deal with an elderly relative's last weeks/days, and try to provide support without resentment.


  1. I agree that the hardships of infertility have definitely given me a more compassionate and understanding outlook on others could possibly be going through, even if I can't see it.
    p.s. your instagram photos are beautiful!

  2. Agree with you and JustHeather. Often it takes trauma and loss to make us aware of things that would trigger others. In a world of trigger warnings, you would assume people would be more conditioned to be thoughtful with their comments, but sadly it's still not the norm.

    Thinking of you as you continue navigating caring for aging loved ones.

  3. Sending you belated love and hugs, hard to think on eventual aging and demise. I agree that infertility can make you more sensitive to others' struggles, especially if resolution wasn't parenting. Social media is the worst for hitting everyone in their soft spots. I'm glad you stand up for all of us, and holy crow, there's people who don't see the Cult of Motherhood at work in society? Yeeps.