One of the autobiographies I read in the last year or two, Andre Agassi’s Open, had a quote that backs up a common theme of my posts. I know I repeat myself. But each time I'm inspired by someone else's words, by someone else's take on life, I think that I need to share it. Because maybe my past posts haven't reached someone, but this one will. And the message is? That we need to choose to love the life we have.
In the book, he talks about the fact that he hates tennis. (His wife, Steffi Graf, agreed, apparently.) But he chose the life of a tennis player. Agassi wrote,
“no matter what your life is, choosing it changes everything.”
It is so true.This life might not be our first choice. But when it is our only option, we need to acknowledge that, and choose it. Choosing to embrace our lives, choosing to accept that we are Not Kidding, makes all the difference. It allows us to let go of a daily focus on loss, the guilt, the blame, the resentment, and it allows us to feel joy. Perhaps particularly, it allows us to embrace and enjoy the features of this life we might otherwise not have had – the freedom, and the little things, like the late weekend mornings in bed, spontaneity, peace and quiet, being able to read a book uninterrupted, eat and drink what we want when we want it, being able to work, travel, etc, and so many more.
Choosing the life that I have, rather than the one I
wanted, knowing and accepting that there is no alternative, actually gave me back
my life. It gave me a life in which I felt pleasure, contentment, hope,
friendship, and so much more. Choose your life, and then live it.
Yesss!! I wish I had something more eloquent to say but yes, yes, yes to this post!
ReplyDeleteYes -- I feel like when involuntary childlessness strikes, it feels like choice is gone. But to choose to accept that life brings some agency back. Love this post!
ReplyDeleteI love this. Choosing changes everything. And sometimes choosing also means accepting.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely choosing means accepting. You can't choose if you haven't accepted.
DeleteI remember reading the book "Sweet Grapes" years ago when facing my permanent childlessness -- and feeling irritated by the authors' insistence that if we consciously CHOSE to be childless/free, then all would be well. "Some choice!" I muttered. But in time, I came to realize the wisdom of that advice. (I like the way you put it better, though! lol)
ReplyDeleteP.S. Agassi hates tennis?? Who knew??! (I need to read that book...!)
Thanks for this, it has helped me to reflect and think about how the choice is in actively embracing the life you have with all of its gifts and possibilities rather than constantly wishing for something different.
ReplyDelete