21 August, 2014

This time last year

This time last year, I was meeting the lovely Klara for the first time.  She and her husband are once again enjoying a northern summer, with the stunning scenery of Slovenia as a backdrop, enjoying summer produce, and - no doubt - she at least is doing some swimming in Lake Bled.  I, on the other hand, am at home in Wellington this year, enduring rain, hail and wind, looking for jobs, getting back to fitness, and getting things done around the house.  Winter trundles on.  But the good memories remain.  I wrote last year that this - new friendships and good memories - was one of the gifts of infertility.

The memories are boosted by the fact that I've finally finished my last photobook covering our overseas odyssey last year, and it includes pages on our all-too-brief sojourn in Slovenia.  All my friends who have seen it have gasped at some of the photos, and last night, one friend in particular (who is living in Europe) has determined that she must visit.  The gift keeps on giving.

Recently too I can add another new friend to the list of gifts.  A blogger who I missed seeing in Italy last year, but who has conveniently (for me at least) moved to Wellington.  She might be regretting that now, as hail batters my skylight as I write this.  But I'm not, because it is another gift, the chats and coffees we've shared so far this winter, and the ones we will hopefully share in the future.

I know that the whole concept of gifts of infertility was (and maybe still is) foreign to a number of my readers, and will be to any new readers who land here.  So I wrote another post where I outlined how I feel I had come through the pain to recognise these gifts. I found this post again when I was looking up exactly when I was in Slovenia.  And I feel it still stands.

Right now, I'll enjoy remembering beautiful Slovenia, how I felt about it this time last year, and celebrate new friends.


  1. dear Mali,
    your post warmed my heart. Thank you for writing you.
    It was lovely to have met you.
    I love the concept of gifts of infertility.
    The Lewis' quote - What! You too? I thought I was the only one - is just perfect.

    lots of love from sLOVEnia.


  2. Must visit Klara someday. Save money. Save money. Save money he he...well, not that I don't want to visit you, but Klara's place is closer to ours. NZ is also a place I want to visit someday. It's in my dream list. :-)

    Anyway, you're right about the gift of infertility. Though I haven't had a chance to meet my online friends that I met through infertility/childless-not-by-choice circumstances, they've really made a huge difference in my life. Like the wings beneath my wings. :-) It's a special kind of connection even through the distance. Can imagine how special it is to be able to meet them and spend time with them in real life. :-)

  3. That photo truly is jaw-dropping. Lucky Klara!!

  4. I have a draft brewing about the gifts infertility has given me. If you had asked me about this years ago (even a couple), I would have scoffed. But I've learned so much from the journey. It's true it changes you in so many ways: so ways are negative but others are for the positive. Maybe that needs to be celebrated more?

    Thank you for the lovely post.

    1. I agree. Just this morning, before seeing your comment, I decided I too should write a post about the other gifts infertility has given me. Will be interesting to compare ours, given our different resolutions.

  5. Love this photo. I have been able to recognize the gifts of infertility to some extent (definitely, a more developed ability to be empathetic) and finally feel like I moved through the idea of birthing a child when I turned 40 this year. A lot of the bitterness is gone, and it's not necessarily due to becoming a parent or not becoming a parent, it's due to dealing with the grief and allowing myself to have had it. Thanks for the food for thought ICLW#7

  6. That's a stunning photo!! So gorgeous. I am enjoying your posts on the gifts of infertility. It's something I'm appreciating more and more in my own life each day, and I really enjoy reading about yours. It opens my mind to other great gifts in my life. i always love reading your perspective.